最后一人（2011）

Last Man Standing S06E17

Part 3 March 19, 2021, 1:03 p.m.

Hey. What's up? - Hey, sweetie.
嘿怎么了？- 嘿亲爱的
I'm just gonna check the lending library,
我就是准备去看看那个图书出借小屋
see if there's a new letter from my book buddy. - Oh, okay.
看看有没有我的书友伙计的新书信
Well, just keep your hands off Anne Bronte's "Agnes Grey."
好吧别碰安妮勃朗特的《艾格尼丝•格雷》就行了
Why?
为什么？
"A," it's terrible, and "B," I booby-trapped it.
第一它很糟糕第二我埋了个雷
Hey, look, look, look, it's nothing.
听我说听我说不是你想的那样
It's just a small charge that will create a small explosion
只是稍稍填装了点会稍稍爆♥炸♥的弹♥药♥
and cover a person in a small amount of blue dye.
而且只是让人稍稍沾上蓝色染液
Go out there right now and diffuse that bomb.
现在就出去把弹拆了
I can't believe I'm using that sentence with my daughter.
真不敢相信我居然要跟我的女儿说这种句子
Ohh. Oh, that was big.
哦哦貌似爆♥炸♥有点大
I should have done a practice one.
我应该之前测试一下的
I did two tours in Iraq without getting hit by an IED, and now this.
我去过两次伊♥拉♥克♥都没有被简易炸♥弹♥炸到现在居然……
Not cool.
这可不好
I'm really sorry, Chuck.
真的很抱歉 Chuck
Eve was just so curious about who was leaving me all those notes.
Eve只是很好奇到底是谁给我留的这些字条
So she put a bomb in a tiny neighborhood library.
所以她在邻里图书出借处里放了一个炸♥弹♥
Makes perfect sense.
说得很通
Great kid.
孩子真厉害
It really was you all this time?
真的一直以来都是你？
I mean, why didn't you just tell me?
我是说那你为什么不直接告诉我呢？
My taste for English romance novels is something I prefer to keep secret.
我对英国浪漫小说的喜好是我更想保密的东西
I stopped talking about it when I was a Marine
我还在海军里的时候
and a copy of "Wuthering Heights"
一本《呼啸山庄》从我上铺掉下去了
fell out of my bunk.
我就没再和人聊过这个了
They give you a hard time?
他们让你不好过了？
The Marines?
海军们？
No, no.
不不
They just shouted, "Reader,"
他们只是大喊“书呆子”
and beat me senseless with a pillowcase full of books.
然后特狠地用装满了书的枕套打我
How'd you ever get into Victorian literature?
那你是怎么接触到维多利亚时期的文学的？
They made us read it in high school,
高中的时候他们逼我们读啊
around the time I was, uh, getting dumped.
那段时间我被其他同学孤立冷落
And the Brontes showed me I could be a lonely, mysterious Healthcliff
勃朗特们告诉我我可以做一个孤独而神秘的希刺克厉夫
（《呼啸山庄》男主为读者乐道的一个丰富角色）
instead of a "home alone Friday night" Chuck.
不用做“周五夜里独自一人在家”的Chuck
（周五晚没有party 还是美国高中生你们懂的）
I spent a lot of Friday nights alone, too.
我也很多时候是周五夜里独自一人的
Ah.
啊
That's a lie.
骗你的
I was very popular.
我那时候很受欢迎
Well, you know, I-I could forgive Eve for the shirt
好吧我可以原谅Eve弄脏我衬衫
if I... if I could have one of those scones.
要……要是你能给我一块饼的话
Are they, uh, currant?
它们是呃小葡萄干的吗？
Yeah, I just made them today.
是啊我今天才做的
I see what you did there. That was good.
我看出来了演得真像呢
Hey, Wayne, don't touch anything.
嘿 Wayne 什么都别摸
You know that's... that's how they get you.
你懂的他们就是什么底都没摸才会选到你
Guys, I'm sorry, but that man is crazy.
伙计们很抱歉向你们宣布：那个男的简直疯狂
He's crazy about you, Mikey.
他是为你疯狂啊 Mike
Believe me I get it.
真的我感觉到了
No, I mean "basement full of doll parts" crazy.
不我说的是那种“地下室里全是娃娃残肢”的疯狂
That's what you get for pushing so hard for this contest.
你看你把这场比赛逼那么紧那你就只能得到这种结果了
I don't understand.
我不明白
He had such a nice smile.
他的笑容那么和善
He does have a nice smile, Mikey...
他确实笑容和善 Mickey
all teeth, no gums, very photogenic.
露齿大笑不嚼口香糖非常上镜
Well, a lot of crazy people have nice smiles and those big eyes,
很多疯狂的人都有和善的笑容和大眼睛啊
with the spinning disks, which is the last thing you see.
还有螺旋转盘呢催眠得你什么都不记得了吧
Okay, you got to get back in there, Mikey. Come on.
好吧你得回去了 Mickey 快
Kyle, let him use your duck whistle in case everything goes south.
Kyle 要是有任何状况让他用你的鸭子哨
Nah, nah.
不要不要
Hey, Wayne. - Hey.
嘿 Wayne - 嘿
Oh, you have a beautiful family, Mike. - What?
哦你的家庭好美满啊 Mike - 什么？
Oh, that's not my family. That picture came in the frame.
哦那不是我家人那是买♥♥相框自带的图片
Yeah.
是的
My family's scattered all over the world.
我的家人散布在全世界
I don't even know where they are.
我都不知道他们在哪儿
Well, do you want me to hunt them down for you?
哦那你想要我帮你去全世界搜猎他们吗？
That's a very kind offer, but no, I don't want you to hunt them down for me.
哦你太慷慨了不过不用了我不想要你去搜猎他们
So, when are we gonna do this vlog?
那么你准备什么时候录视频？
The Free State could use some new recruits.
自♥由♥之州可以启用一些新招募者
Listen, listen, listen, listen, Wayne, about the vlog...
听着听着听我说 Wayne 关于视频……
I know I complain about the government a lot.
我知道我经常抱怨政♥府♥
I really do.
我确实对政♥府♥有意见
But, you know, I pay my taxes.
但是你也要知道我是纳税的
Uh-huh.
啊哈
Yeah.
是的
I-I mean, I'm a conservative guy, and... and I... I love the government.
我我的意思是我是个保守的人而且而且我……我爱我们的政♥府♥
I support the system here.
我支持我们国家的体系
I am with you 100%, Mike.
我100%支持你 Mike
Right. Uh-huh.
嗯啊哈
Oh, I support the system, too, pay my taxes.
我们是否被窃听了
我也支持国家的体系我也纳税
No, Wayne, we're not bugged.
不是Wayne 我们没有被窃听
And listen, I don't think I am who you think I am.
听我说我觉得我不是你以为我是的那种人
My vlogs do not contain any secret messages.
我的视频里没有任何秘密信息
And you know what else?
而且你知道还有什么吗？
They are funny.
他们非常有趣
Eh.
呃
Eh.
好吧
Listen...
听着
I don't think we should do the vlog.
我觉得我们不应该一起录视频
You know what else? I got a better idea.
你知道还有什么吗？我有个更好的主意
I say we go down to the store.
要我说我们就下楼看看店里的东西
You can pick out whatever you want except a gun.
你想选什么都行除了枪
Now, Mike, you wouldn't be trying to cheat me out of
Mike 你不会是要糊弄我失去
my duly won prize, now, would you?
我实至名归的得胜奖励吧？
You know, a few years back, a... a guy named tried that.
你知道吗几年前有一个叫Jim Dunsmore的家伙
Ever hear of him?
听说过他吗？
No, Wayne, of course not.
没有Wayne 当然没有
And never will.
而且以后也不会听到了
Nobody can prove nothing.
这世上再没有任何有关他的证据了
All right.
好吧
Congratulations, Wayne.
恭喜你 Wayne
You passed the test.
你通过了测试
Wh-What test?
什……什么测试？
Put 'er there.
手拿过来
I had to know that you're the real deal.
我必须确认你是如假包换的本人
Yeah.
好吧
Yeah, yeah, we're gonna... we're gonna do that vlog.
好的好的我们要准备录视频了
It'll seem like a normal one, right,
就会像平常的视频那样对
except for you, me, and the others... we'll know.
只不过你我和其他的人事物会不一样我们会知道的
I knew there were others!
我就知道之前屋子里还有其他的人！
We'll all know.
我们都会知道的
It's about supporting the national parks,
这次的视频是关于支持国家公园的
but, uh, you probably know what that... that really means.
但是呃你可能理解到了真正的意思是什么
Mind-control chemicals in the drinking water?
饮用水里那些控制思想的化学药品？
Bingo was his name-o.
对啊哈哈哈哈哈黑猫警长
Here's one of my favorite Bronte quotes, okay?
这一句我特别喜欢的勃朗特的句子
"Life is so constructed that the event does not,
“生活就是如此
cannot, will not match the expectation."
世事不得不能也不会尽如人意”
I freakin' love that one.
我真是爱死这句了
Yeah, you do!
你应该爱啊！
Yeah. Yeah.
是啊是啊
All right, all right, here's my favorite.
来来你听这个是我最喜欢的
"I wish I were a girl again, half-savage and hardy and free."
“但愿我重又成为一个小女孩，粗野、倔强、无拘无束”
Yeah, I don't quote that one.
呃我没给你写过这句
Yeah.
是没写过
I think these books can be a great outlet,
我觉得这些书是很好的一种排解渠道
especially when you're going through a rough patch, you know,