最后一人（2011）
Last Man Standing
第六季
剧集 | 最后一人（2011） | 导航列表
最后一人（2011）
Last Man Standing S06E05
Part 3
March 19, 2021, 1:01 p.m.
practically turned myself into a guy,
but, uh, they still didn't want me,
所以现在我写歌♥换零报酬 它们就只值这个数
so now I write songs for no money,
which is exactly how much they're worth.
地下室小丑
Basement clown.
吉他猴子
Guitar monkey.
哦 嘿 你们下一个抗♥议♥行动的主题就是：
Oh, hey, look,
there's your next protest...
拯救吉他猴子
Save the Guitar Monkeys.
为什么？这样你们就可以杀了它们然后给餐馆添新菜？
Why? So you can kill
them and serve them in your restaurant?
大家 拜托！停 停！这是个派对呀！
Everybody, come on! Stop,
stop. This is a party!
我真的很喜欢这个E部分（谐音）
I'm enjoying this part-E.
真是迫不及待想看F部分呢
I can't wait for part-F.
滚开 Kyle
Shove it, Kyle.
啊 万圣节 是个超级超级棒的节日呢 我说真的
Ah, Halloween. It's a great,
great holiday, believe me.
嘿 孩子们 我们来玩……
Hey, kids, why don't we play...
不玩！
No!
哦 我可以做我最拿手的……
Ooh, I can make my famous...
不要！
No!
哇哦
Wow.
Mrs. B 大家都不喜欢你呢
Mrs. B, people do not like you.
真有趣 真棒
That was fun. That was great.
我遇到一堆“不给糖就捣蛋”的孩子们
I got a bunch of
little trick-or-treaters
一起对我大喊“把这个女的关起来！”
to start chanting "Lock
her up, lock her up."
啊
Ah...
有点哽住了
Got kind of choked up.
那么 我错过了什么好戏？
So, what'd I miss?
我妻子取笑我对佛教的兴趣
My wife made fun of my
interest in Buddhism.
盲从信教 总是很有趣的
Religious bigotry... always funny.
请无视那个长胡子的女人
Please ignore that bearded woman.
她只是因为要顶着那对大胸到处走才变暴躁的
She's just cranky from lugging
around those enormous boobs.
巨大呢
（特朗普的口音说huge，成了他的代表自创词）
Yuge.
我去开门
I'll get it.
我去开门！
I'll get it!
去见那些孩子们好过得多 好歹他们只是假扮魔鬼
It'd be nice to see some kids who
are just pretending to be monsters.
我去 这个派对太逊了
Geez, this party is so lame.
而且是真的我自己的心声 我都没有在模仿Eve说逊字
And that's the real me.
I'm not even doing Eve.
拜托我们能结束了吗？
Can we please wrap this up?
我玩得很开心啊
I'm having a good time.
这不像那些 我能控制得了的派对
It's not like I can control the party.
我真的很喜欢这个E部分（谐音）
I'm enjoying this part-E.
- 真是迫不及待想看……
- Kyle 你已经说过一遍了！
- I can't wait for part...
- Kyle, you already did that one!
拜托！结束吧！
Please! This has to end!
好吧
All right.
我去看看能不能谈得成
（双关特朗普是商人）
I'll go... see if I can make a deal.
你懂的 谈生意是们艺术 需要技术
You know, there's an art to it.
嘿 大家都怎么了？
Hey. What's wrong with everybody?
哦 Mike 真的很糟糕
Oh, Mike, this is awful.
我们做的事情全是在伤害彼此
All we have done is insult each other.
是啊
Yeah.
我不想说的 但是我们今天还是到此为止吧
I hate to say this, but maybe
we should just call it tonight.
你知道我为什么想要办这个派对吗？
You know... You
know why I wanted this party?
- 嗯
- 你知道吗？
- Yeah.
- You know why?
因为全家每个人都在我担忧教师罢♥工♥的时候
Because everybody in this
family was there for me
陪着我 理解我 支持我
when I was worried about
the teachers' strike.
- 嗯
- 是啊 我只是
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, and I just...
我只是想好好庆祝一下
I just wanted to celebrate.
但是从今往后 我怕是再也不想搞万圣节派对了
But after tonight, I-I never want
to have a Halloween party again.
我不想说的
You know I hate to say this.
但是小小有些程度 我是怪我自己的
But in some small way, I blame myself.
亲爱的 不是你的错
Honey, it's not your fault.
不是你造成的
You didn't do it.
我做到了（是我造成的）！
I did it!I did it!
啊啊啊
Ahh!
你那是什么玩意儿
What is that?
我穿这身去参加退伍军人派对啊
It's what I'm wearing to the VFW party.
你那又是什么玩意儿
What is that?
唐纳德·特朗普
Donald Trump.
你不能扮唐纳德·特朗普
You can't be Donald Trump.
为什么？就因为我不是白人？
Why, because I'm black?
不 因为你不是橙的
（料真足-_-这也是特朗普的代表特色之一）
No, because you're not orange.
我做他的造型是讽刺意义的
Mine is ironic.
你做这种造型简直就是向他致敬
Yours is a tribute.
- 我的是天才之举
- 哈
- Mine is a stroke of genius.
- Huh.
我很可能成功扼杀了Baxter家的万圣节派对 永远不办了
I think I might have just killed
the Baxter Halloween party for good.
听好 听好 我有个坏消息
Okay, listen, listen, listen
...I-I got some bad news.
我刚和Carol打完电♥话♥
I just off the phone with Carol.
校董会终于选好
The school board finally figured out
给教师加薪的方法了
how they're gonna pay
for the teachers' raises.
哦 别 别告诉我是要裁员
Oh, no. Don't tell me layoffs.
是的 裁员
Yeah, yeah.
而且因为Vanessa是最后一批被雇佣的教师
And since Vanessa was
one of the last hired...
- 我去！
- 是啊
- Crap!
- Yeah.
Carol一直在想办法联♥系♥上Vanessa
Carol's been trying to call Vanessa.
我真不敢想你要怎么跟她说她被解雇了
I-I don't know how you're
gonna tell her she's fired.
我不能今晚告诉她她被解雇了
I can't tell her that she's fired
我们全家人彼此呛声得这么厉害 不能再呛她了
on a night that the family is
going at each other's throats.
- 所以说 你自己捣毁的派对 你还觉得你自己是受害者吗？
- 差不多吧
- So, you wrecked your own party and
still see yourself as the victim?
- Well...
好吧 你赢了 你确实比我扮的特朗普更不要脸
You're right, you do make
a better Trump than me.
大家都要去哪？
Where's everybody going?
妈妈说派对结束了 所以差不多我和Ryan
Mom said the party's over,
so I guess it's time for Ryan and me
该冷漠加沉默地一路骑车回去了吧
to ride home in stony silence.
是啊 我得把这身妆给卸了
Yeah, and I've got to
get out of this makeup.
我可不想明早看到枕头上像都灵裹尸布一样印上我的轮廓
（著名的伪文物，印着基♥督♥的躺身前后轮廓）
I do not want to wake up with
the Shroud of Turin on my pillow.
任何人 哪儿也不能去
Nobody is going anywhere.
哦你是说就像我的音乐事业一样 什么进展都不会有
Oh, you mean like my music career.
消停一会儿 听我说
Hold on a minute.
我们必须重新营造好派对气氛
We got to reboot this party.
我刚得知你们妈妈丢了工作
I just found out your mom lost her job.
但是教书对她而言意味着一切啊
But being a teacher
means everything to Mom.
这会让她崩溃的
This is gonna crush her.
至少今晚不会 也不能
Well, not tonight. It's not, you know?
我们要给她呈现一场她一直想要的派对
We're gonna give her the holiday
party that she's always wanted,
然后明天我再告诉她她被解雇了
and I'll tell her she's fired tomorrow.
什……我被解雇了？
Wh... I was fired?!
或者我就现在告诉她
Or I could tell her now.
哦
Oh.
Chuck刚过来了一趟 Carol一直想联♥系♥上你 亲爱的
Chuck just came over. Carol's
been trying to call you, honey.
对不起
- 哦
I'm sorry.
-Oh...
最后一人（2011）
Last Man Standing
剧集 | 最后一人（2011） | 导航列表