最后一人（2011）

Last Man Standing S06E15

Part 3 March 19, 2021, 1:03 p.m.

延伸出一种兴奋的新鲜的感觉……愤懑
which leads to an exciting new feeling...
resentment.
每次你说话我都很难过
Every time you talk, I'm sad.
呃好吧这样
Uh, okay, so, here's the deal.
爱也许是不可名状的但是也是无可否认的而且像是无法抗拒的
Love may be indescribable, but it's also
undeniable, and, like, overwhelming,
而且非常非常非常明确
and, like, totally, totally, totally clear.
所以呃如果你不确定自己是否爱上了就等于你没爱上
So, uh, if you're not sure if
you're in love or not, you're not.
呃我去我不确定
Eh... Crap. I'm not sure.
嗯不妙哦！
Mm. Not good!
什么？什么？
What? What?
会生出问题来的因为很快他就会有不安全感
Well, that can be a real problem,
because, soon, he's gonna feel insecure
然后就会变得很粘人不过这样超级有魅力
and then start being needy,
which is super attractive.
是的然后你就会在午夜读短♥信♥
Yeah, and then you're looking at
texts in the middle of the night,
挡风玻璃上出现便条他给你英语成绩打D分你就……
notes on your windshield, he gives
you a "D" in English, you're like...
呃重点是呃当两个人的感情
Uh, the point is, uh, when
the feelings of two people
很不平衡的时候…… 很难再维持和谐
are, like, so different... it's
really hard to make it work.
而唯一你能做的人道主义的事情就是和他们分手
And the only humane thing you
can do is break up with them.
所以你的意思是我得甩了他因为他爱我？
So, you're saying I should
dump him because he loves me?
是的
Yes.
然后也许多年的心理治疗之后他会说……
And then, maybe after years of
therapy, he'll be the one to say...
- 谢谢你 - 谢谢你
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
♪
好的
All right.
我们完成了基本电路和管路
We got through basic
electrical and plumbing.
最终的创可贴比分是多少？
What's the final Band-Aid count?
- 两个 - 一个
- Two. - One.
好吧五个
Five.
知道为什么吗？因为你们太傲慢了
You know why? Because you got cocky.
家居修缮的首要原则之一就是
One of the first rules of home repair
知道何时该叫专业人员来
is knowing when to call in a professional.
何时呢？
And when is that?
基本上是五金店那个家伙这么说的时候：
Basically, when the guy
at the hardware store goes,
“好吧接下来就是该由你操心的事了”
"Okay, but it's your funeral."
接下来我们学习下一项非常重要的内容 “解决问题”
Now we move into a critical
area called "problem-solving."
割草机发不动了什么问题？
The lawn mower doesn't want to
start, so what's the problem?
好吧呃可能有点太明显了
All right, well, this
is probably too obvious,
我想我会把盖子那玩意儿卸下来检查它是不是有燃料
but I guess I'd unscrew the cap
thingy and make sure it had gas?
他射门了他得分了！
He shoots. He scores!
法裔加国佬拿5分
That's 5 points for the Canuck.
我很满意我很满意
I love it. I love it.
好的不过还是发不动所以我们得清洗一些东西
All right, but it still won't start,
so we got to clean something.
清洗什么呢？
What's that?
哦！我的手不对我的头发呃我的牛仔裤
Oh! My hands. No, my hair. Uh, my jeans.
啊！空气过滤器
Ah! Air filter.
这样的头脑这样地运转真是叹为观止啊
It's amazing watching his mind work.
谢谢 Mr. B
Thanks, Mr. B.
我有一套独特的进程
I have a process.
什么？随便乱说一些蹦进你脑子里的词可不叫进程
What? Saying random words that pop
in your head isn't a process.
你是常出没在公交车站的家伙
You're the guy at the bus stop.
我要去拿瓶啤酒
I'm gonna grab a beer.
等我回来的时候希望你们已经清晰好空气过滤器了
While I'm gone, I want you
guys to clean the air filter.
如果你们不知道怎么做或者不知道它在哪儿去问那个公交车站的家伙吧
If you don't know how to do it, or where
it is, ask the guy at the bus stop.
那是我
That's me.
气死你
Burn.
好吧我打赌这个就是空气过滤器了
All right, well, I bet
this is the air filter.
不别直接上来就使劲拽
No., Dot just start pulling on stuff.
会搞坏的 - 哦好吧
You'll break it. - Oh, okay.
我们干嘛不干脆按你的进程来呢？
Well, why don't we just do your process?
棉花球独角兽钓鱼竿
Cotton balls, unicorns, fishing pole.
从我脑子里出去
Stay out of my head.
你有在看他俩吗？
You been watching these guys, huh?
上个礼拜他们还盯着烤箱看来着
Last week, they were staring at an oven.
而现在他们盯着割草机看了
And now, they're staring at a lawn mower.
你是个天才
You're a genius.
我比天才还厉害我是匹诺曹的爸爸
I'm better than that. I'm Geppetto.
于我而言每个人都是木偶
To me, everybody's a puppet.
匹诺曹的爸爸有很多闲功夫的
And Geppetto had a lot of free time.
他可没有性感的老婆
He didn't have a hot wife.
我有点为这俩榆木脑袋感到骄傲了
I'm kind of proud of these knuckleheads.
我还是觉得你不对
You know, I still think you're wrong.
竞争不是最佳的方式
Competition is not the way to go.
好吧那为什么你还是想要嘴皮子上争赢我？
Well then, why are you still
trying to win this argument?
哇呃哦
Whoa. Uh-oh.
木偶大战
Puppet fight.
那才不是木偶大战
That's not a puppet fight.
那是两个人被困在了一辆有一只大黄蜂的车里
That's two guys trapped
in a car with a bumblebee.
给……给我
Just... give
it to me.
哦！
Ryan: Oh! (Crash)
那才是木偶大战
That is a puppet fight.
简直不敢相信那俩小伙子打起来了
I just can't believe those
two guys got into a fight.
嗯
Ugh. (Laughs)
我是说他们有用拳头吗？
I mean, were there fisticuffs?
应该就用了下手掌
More like slap-ticuffs.
“你停下！”
"You stop it!"
等等现在他们也还是互相不理睬？
Wait. And they're still
not talking to each other?
什么样的小伙子打完了对方还继续生气啊？
What kind of guys punch each
other out and stay mad?
不知道
I don't know.
我把我该做的做完了
I did my job.
我让他们彼此对立
I set them against each other.
那是个好主意的 Mike
That's a good idea, Mike.
竞争是个很好的动力
You know, competition's a great motivator.
嗯
Hmm.
海军陆战队肯定用的是这套哲学
That is certainly the
philosophy of the Marine Corps.
“士兵Jenkins能背着士兵Murphy跑10英里
"Private Jenkins can run 10 miles
with Private Murphy on his back.
你有什么问题吗 Larabee？”
What's your problem, Larabee?"
那你想背Murphy吗？
Well, did you want to carry Murphy?
谁都能背起Murphy
Anybody could carry Murphy.
Murphy轻得很
Murphy weighed a buck-twenty.
我要背的是肥屁♥股♥McGee
I had to carry Fat-Ass McGee.
哦
Ohh.
(Both laugh)
哦不会比我的部队战争生涯更糟糕的
Oh, it couldn't have been
worse than my Army days.
你……你是文员啊
You were... You
were a file clerk.
你说得好像多容易似的
You say that like it was easy.
嗯不不
Mm. No, no.
现在时代不同了朋友啊
It was a different times, my friend.
嗯
Yeah.
我们那时候没有高级的传真机漂亮的复印机
We didn't have a fancy fax
machine, a cute copier.
那些碳粉……那些碳粉根本洗不掉你知道吗？
The carbon... The carbon
never goes away, you know?
但是你根本理解不了我说的是什么对吧粉手指先生？
But you wouldn't know what I'm talking
about, would you, Mr. Pink Fingers?
好吧军队懂那个道理让小伙子们斗争起来
Well, the military understands
that, uh, getting guys to fight
最终会让他们关系更紧密
ultimately brings them closer together.
我爸爸深谙其道他一直这样对我和Jimmy
And my dad knew that. He