最后一人（2011）

Last Man Standing S06E01

Part 1 March 19, 2021, 1:01 p.m.

你怎么还没换衣服？
Why aren't you dressed?
餐厅的早午饭不是10点开始吗
Well, brunch isn't till 10:00.
是但是我们要早点去占个离自助食物桌近的桌子呀
Right, but then we go early, we get
a table close to the buffet, right?
因为[时时乐]教训过我们了
（连锁餐厅品牌）
'Cause you can't sit right at it.
“你不能直接坐在自助食物桌上”
We learned that at Sizzler.
你就给Kristin打个电♥话♥要她给我们留个座位嘛
Just call Kristin and ask
her to save us a table.
毕竟我们也有功劳嘛
I mean, we have some pull.
她造了一切而我们造了她
She created the whole
thing. We created her...
不了
Nah.
她得煎条更大的鱼了真·大鱼
Nah, then she's got bigger
fish to fry... literally.
她这海鲜自助的点子真的很赞
This seafood buffet she created is amazing.
就跟大海吐了一桌子似的
It's like the ocean just
puked all over a table.
我知道你为什么想早点去
I know why you want to go early.
- 餐厅早午饭是她的孩子
- 不
- The brunch is her baby...
- No.
她是你孩子
...she's your baby.
你想确保一切顺利
You want to make sure everything goes okay.
说什么呢她一个人都管好了
What are you talking?
She's got this all covered.
她做得很好
She's doing a great job.
她昨晚凌晨1点还在做事
She was at work last night till 1:00 A.M.
是呢你怎么知道的？
Yeah, and how do you know that?
我刚好在那儿呃确保龙虾没钳着她
I was just there, you know, making
sure the lobsters don't claw her.
我觉得那些橡皮筋不靠谱
I don't trust those rubber bands.
- 亲爱的
- 它们好小好小
- Honey...
- They're very, very small.
承认你想保护你孩子吧没事的
It is okay to admit that you
want to protect your daughter.
- 很贴心的
- 我不是在保护她
- It's sweet.
- I'm not protecting her.
我只想确保餐厅一切顺利
I just want to make sure
the brunch goes okay.
是啊这不是保护么
Yeah, that's called protecting.
哦嘿各位
Oh. Hey, you guys.
呃我这出了毛病
Um... I've got this thing.
喉咙好痛
It's a... sore-throat thing.
嗯哼
Mm-hmm.
所以呃
So, uh, yeah...
我今天没法去教堂了
I'm not gonna be able
to go to church today.
我们今天不去教堂
We're not going to church.
今天是Kristin的餐厅早午饭头一天
Today is Kristin's first brunch.
等等哇
Oh, wait. Oh, my God!
一会儿
Hold on.
我全好了
I'm all better!
我康复了！耶！
I'm healed! Yes!
哇真是奇迹
Wow, that's a miracle.
真感谢老天爷
Praise the Lord.
也许下个礼拜你该去教堂
You know, maybe you can
go to church next Sunday,
亲自谢谢他呢
and you can thank him personally.
我马上去换衣服
Okay. I'm gonna go get dressed.
我有一套最适合去吃早午饭的衣服
I have the perfect brunch outfit.
它会告诉别人我是来取食物、秀外貌、评头论足其他人的
It says I'm here to pick up my food,
look fabulous, and judge others.
Mandy 嘿
Mandy, hey.
你不能迟到OK？
You can't be late for this, okay?
我知道你想有个华丽亮相但是今天是你姐姐的大日子
I know you'd like to make an entrance,
but today's your sister's big day.
别抢她风头
Let her shine.
好好好但是谁刚刚和病魔英勇斗争来着？
Okay, fine, but who just got over a
really brave battle with illness?
为什么她假生病能让我真头疼？
Why do her fake illnesses
give me a real headache?
我去换衣服了到那儿见
I'm gonna get ready. I'll meet you there.
好的花枝招展点
All right. Doll yourself up.
卷着培根的扇贝可能比你诱人哦
You're competing with
scallops wrapped in bacon.
你总算来了 Mikey
It's about time, Mikey.
是是是我是最差员工
Yeah, I'm the worst.
在我休息这天还提前一个小时来
Coming in an hour early on my day off.
谢谢你来
Thanks for being here.
没什么没什么
Hey, no problem.
我要是在家就是看电视
If I was home, I'd be watching TV.
在这儿就是看十八台电视还有加班费拿
Here, I'm watching like
eight TVs, and I get overtime.
你知道整个这个早午饭的概念我都不太理解
You know, this whole concept of
brunch doesn't make any sense to me.
嗯
Well...
我是说你明明可以分开卖♥♥早饭和午饭现在却只能收一次钱了
I mean, you get breakfast and lunch
and you charge 'em once.
哪个天才想出了个这玩意儿？
Who's the genius that
came up with that idea?
我觉得应该是爱因斯坦的弟弟Melvin
（不晓得什么梗）
I think it was Einstein's brother Melvin.
全家都有创造力
Very creative family.
你就休息休息吧
You got to relax here.
Kris跟我们提出早午饭自助餐的方案之前做了很多功课的
Kris did a lot of research before
she pitched this buffet idea to us.
我们的顾客会喜欢的
Our customers are gonna love this.
可能做太多功课了
Yeah? Yeah, maybe too much.
你没注意到他们都盯着大桌子坐呢
You haven't noticed, they
tend to be on the large side.
嗯你注意到了
Well, you know...
他们把“全都能吃”当挑战呢
They take "all you can eat" as a challenge.
回你办公室做点分散你注意力的事儿去
Go in your office, do something
to take your mind off it.
你多久没打开你前妻的Facebook页面了？
When was the last time you checked
your ex-wife's Facebook page?
昨天才开的
Yesterday.
别担心了
Yeah, don't worry about this.
Kris会把一切都管好的
Kris has got this all taken care of.
Mickey拜托，我可指着你帮我盯着呢
Mikey, please, I'm counting on
you to keep an eye on things.
要是情况糟糕我们就不搞早午饭了
If this is a disaster,
we're done with brunch.
我没必要盯着的
I don't need to keep an eye on anything.
哈好
Ha! Yeah.
给我看看餐厅的监控
Show me the restaurant.
给你
On it.
啊自餐厅一切准备就绪了
Uh, the buffet's all iced and ready to go.
嗯哼
Uh-huh.
这个镜头拍的是我俩在看监控
There's us looking at the monitors.
这可没什么用
That's useless.
我看不…… Kyle在装货仓库做什么呢？
I can't... What's Kyle
doing on the loading dock?
给我把画面高清处理了
Enhance that for me.
高清处理？
"Enhance"?
这又不是《犯罪现场调查》Baxter
This isn't "CSI" Baxter.
我可以把画面放大点
I can make it bigger.
看来他是在打开一袋猫粮
Looks like he's opening a bag of cat food.
好着呢
Oh, good.
他在海鲜自助餐厅隔壁喂流浪猫
He's feeding stray cats 100
feet from a seafood buffet.
- 这孩子脑子里想什么呢
- 我是不知道
- What goes on in that kid's head?
- I don't know.
要是你监控够近的话说不定能听到
If you got close enough,
you'd probably hear
发条猴子在敲锣打鼓呢
（Kyle脑子里装着这个玩具）
a wind-up monkey playing the cymbals.
嘿 Kyle Kyle！你在搞什么啊
Hey, Kyle! Kyle! What
the hell are you doing?
你说不能让流浪猫在垃圾箱里翻东西吃
You said you didn't want stray
cats eating out of the Dumpster.
我就把这个问题解决了
Problem solved.
现在你把野猫引来海鲜自助餐厅了
Now you're luring feral
cats to a seafood buffet.
哦不它们不是野猫了
Oh, no. They're not feral anymore.
我给他们取名字了
I named them.
是啊你当然取了
Well, of course you did.
跟你说……