最后一人（2011）
Last Man Standing
第六季
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最后一人（2011）
Last Man Standing S06E14
Part 2
March 19, 2021, 1:03 p.m.
No, babe, it's not great. It's gross.
我是说 我们有魅力的年轻人这么做是一♥码♥事
I mean, it's one thing when young,
attractive people like us do it.
但是 你懂的 老年人做就……
But, you know, when old people do it...
广♥告♥里都不会让他们在同一个浴缸里
In commercials, they don't even
put them in the same bathtub.
现在不是在说我们俩
This isn't about us.
是说你们俩 而且……而且你们得学会
It's about you two, and...
and you just got to learn
多收敛一点 - 是的
to tone it down a little bit. - Yeah.
好啊 要是你们要我们收敛 你们先开始
Fine. Well, if we have
to cool it, so do you.
好 好
Fine. Fine.
- 什么？ - 是 我们这样吧
- What? - Yeah, well, you know what?
就把它藏起来吧 藏在在关着的门后面
Let's just keep it behind closed doors.
如果能让他们俩消停 也值得了
It's worth it if it'll get them to stop.
你们让我变得痛恨爱情了！
You guys are making me hate love!
我们……我……我们还能龟龟亲吗？
We... I... Can we still turtle kiss?
别 别 别做了！ 停！
Vanessa: No. No. Just do not! Stop!
嘿 嘿 嘿 嘿 嘿！
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
♪
哦我的天哪
Oh my goodness.
快进来 我来拿吉他吧
Get in here. Let me take the guitar.
呃 我的手都结冰了
Uh, it's frozen to my hand.
你可能得帮我截几根指头 防止血液循环坏死
You might have to chip
off a few of my fingers.
(Shivers)
至少挣了些钱吧？
Did you at least make any money?
嗯 4刀
Yeah, $4.
其实有8刀 不过你需要火的时候 你真的需要火
Well, it was $8, but when you
need a fire, you need a fire.
听我说 我真的不喜欢你大冬天还要在外面表演
Look, I really don't like you performing
outside in the middle of winter.
不是都说 春天不远了嘛
Well, spring's just
right around the corner,
不过希望 到时候我已经死了
and hopefully, I'll be dead by then.
还挺凑巧的
Here's a funny coincidence.
呃 我一直在找一个晚上表演的乐手
Uh, I've been looking for a
musician to perform here at night.
哈 哪儿？
Huh. Where?
就那儿
Right over there.
呃 那儿
Uh, over there.
呃 总之 我们在员工会议上一直都在讨论这个
Uh, anyway (Chuckles) we've been talking
about it at all the staff meetings.
所以我要是去问员工们 他们都能和你的话对得上？
So if I were to ask the staff,
they would back you up on that?
对得上 不过你别问
Yes, but don't do that.
(Laughs)
我都已经发招聘广♥告♥了 在 呃 丹佛待业乐手杂♥志♥ 上
And I-I even put an ad in, uh, the
Denver... Musicians For Hire Magazine.
就算这世界上有那么多奇葩杂♥志♥ 也没有这种杂♥志♥
Even when magazines
existed, that one didn't.
听我说 你会帮我一个大忙 好吗？
Look, you'd be doing me a huge favor, okay?
我们需要有人在那儿表演
I need someone to play over there.
或者 或者那儿
Or... Or there.
我知道你在骗我
I know you're lying.
我没有啊
No, I'm not.
好吧 也不要紧吧
All right, hey, it doesn't matter.
除了上帝觉得要紧 不过我没问题
Except to God, which
isn't really my problem.
- 我接受你的邀请 - 好的
- I'm in. - Good.
我很期待在这儿表演……或者在那儿
I'm looking forward to playing here...
or there.
嘿 Mike
Hey, Mike.
你有空看看这个吧
Please take a look at this
when you get a chance, please?
- 没问题 - 好的
- Sure. - Okay.
- 嘿 等下 - 嗯？
- Hey, hey. - Yeah?
你觉得……觉得我太过亲热了吗？
Do you... Do you think
I'm too affectionate?
呃……
Well...
好吧 呃 是的 Mike
Okay, uh... yes, Mike.
确……确实大家都觉得你该改改了
That's the... That's the beef
that everybody has with you.
我是说和我老婆之间
I mean with my wife.
嗯哼
Mm-hmm.
今天早上孩子们在说这个
My kid was talking about it this morning.
让我觉得我好像是个变♥态♥一样
It made me feel like a pervert.
明白了 因为你们在公共场合拥抱牵手
I see. Because you hug
and hold hands in public
还每次见面都亲吻？
and kiss every time you see one another?
- 是的 对 - 我明白了
- Yeah. Right. - I see.
我这次和孩子们站一边
I have to go with the kid on this one.
但是我们结婚了啊
But we're married.
正常的已婚夫妇甚至从来不碰彼此的
Normal married couples
never even touch each other.
好吗？
All right?
问题是 你们俩让人以为婚姻很美好
The problem is, you two
make marriage look good.
你看 然后我就二百五一样也想有这样的婚姻
See, and then I'm suckered into trying it,
然后你也知道了 我就一直在付离婚赡养费
and the next thing you know,
I'm writing alimony checks
给三个恨我的女人
to three women who hate me.
嘿 嘿
Hey. (Chuckling) Hey.
嘿 嗨
Hey. Hi.
看到你们这样我也不要再尝试了
I'm not falling for that again.
- 他说不想什么？- 我不知道
- What was that about?
- I don't know.
我觉得他认同Mandy说我们太亲热那事儿
I guess he agrees with
Mandy on the affection thing.
我们不是在动物园里参观的人
We're not the people in the zoo.
我们就是猩猩
We're the chimps.
我懂了 我懂了
I know. I know.
可能很多人都这样认为
I guess a lot of people feel that way.
是的 这就解释了为什么星巴克里的人那样看我们
Yeah, explains why the guy
at Starbucks looked at us
还给我那个写着“发♥情♥公狗”的杯子
and gave me the cup that
said "Horndog" on it.
还有我的瑜伽老师 她说每次看到我们
And my yoga teacher, she
said every time she sees us,
她就会觉得她的婚姻太没激♥情♥了
it makes her realize how
passionless her marriage is.
难道不好吗？
Isn't that great?
但我并不知道其实有那么多人在看着我们
Well, I didn't know so many
people were watching us.
现在要么我们不做了 要么我们就跟看的人收费
Now either we got to stop it, or
we got to start charging people.
不 我 我不想改变
No, I-I-I don't want to change.
我很喜欢我们俩在一起的方式
I like the way we are with each other.
- 我也是 - 嗯
- So do I. - Yeah.
你看 呃……现在这里就我们俩
You know, uh... we're alone now.
就在办公室里？
(Laughing) Right here in the office?
亲爱的 这会不会太调皮了
Honey, is... isn't that kind of naughty?
每次我在办公室吻一个美女的时候就会这么觉得
That's how it feels every time I
kiss a beautiful woman in my office.
哦
Ooh.
这还 额 还真能增添几分火♥辣♥
You know, this could, uh...
could really spice things up.
是啊 想着我们的禁断之爱确实会变得有趣很多
Yeah. Thinking that our love
is forbidden makes it fun.
是啊 你就像是个新辣妹
Yeah, you're like the new Spice Girl.
（the Spice Girls 辣妹组合 成员名字都是一个标签形容词+Spice）
外婆辣妹
Granny Spice.
好心情都被你搞没了 吃饭吧
Killing the moment. Let's eat.
这里是Ourtdoor Man的Mike Baxter
Mike Baxter here for Outdoor Man,
两腿间有着160马力的♂我♀
sitting here with 160
horsepower between my legs.
和这个酷炫的雪地车——北极星800 坐在这儿
I've also got this cool snowmobile
sitting here... the Polaris 800.
你们也知道 历史上几千年间 大雪让人无法在陆地上通行
You know, for thousands of years,
heavy snow made land impassable.
后来 人类发明了雪橇 引擎 和摩托
Over time, man invented the sled,
the engine, and the motorcycle.
但却是一个叫[庞巴迪]的法裔加拿大疯子
But it took a French-Canadian
lunatic named Bombardier
把它们组合在了一起
（人与公♥司♥同名 出生于加拿大♥法♥语区 公♥司♥总部也在）
to put them all together.
然后正如他会说的那样“就是酱紫”
And as he would have said, "Voilà!"
她就出现了
Here she is.
再没什么比用这些工具来对抗大自然女神更令人兴奋了
There's nothing more exhilarating than
defying Mother Nature on one of these.
大自然女神会说“吾将冻水 汝吾可行”
Mom Nature will say, "I will freeze
the water, and thou shall not pass."
最后一人（2011）
Last Man Standing
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