最后一人（2011）

Last Man Standing S06E05

Part 2 March 19, 2021, 1:01 p.m.

我需要……
- 有人要吃纸杯小蛋糕吗
I need... -I brought you guys cupcakes.
……这个二货
...this jackass.
我不喜欢这个新绰号♥ 伙计们
I'm not crazy about the new nickname, guys.
嗨妈妈
Hey, Mom!
我和Ryan到了
（以前一直觉得大姐夫太瘦弱、大姐发福太厉害）
Ryan and I are here!
快点把荤菜收起来你们这些野蛮人
（其实原来姐夫很壮、大姐还是很小只的）
Hide the meat, you barbarians.
我马上就来！
Be right there!
每多看你一眼我都会多笑一次
Every time I
look at you, I start laughing.
你♥爸♥这点子真是赞……
This is a great idea your dad...
我知道我知道你也看着好有趣
I know, I know! You look so great, too!
不过你的胸大过头了
I mean, you went a little
overboard with the breasts.
总感觉不管怎么调总有一个显得小一点
It's like no matter what I do, one
always just seems like it's smaller.
哦嘿这是我的小妹Eve！
Oh, hey, it's my little sister Eve!
是逊随便
Sure, lame, whatever.
吐槽吐槽发牢骚
Grumble, grumble. Complain.
我的天哪
Oh, my God!
现在我以时尚设计师的身份说：
I say this as a fashion designer...
Ryan你这上半身真是绝了
Ryan, you are rocking that tunic.
- 胸过头了点
- 胸过头太多了
- The boobs are a little much.
- The boobs are a lot much.
Mandy 快点！你总是迟到！
Mandy, come on! You're always late!
派对开始了……吐槽吐槽发牢骚
The party's starting...
grumble, grumble, complain.
各位本公举驾到了
Here I am, everyone.
不用谢
You're welcome.
你真的是魅力四射
You look so glamorous.
不好意思我什么时候不魅力四射了？
I'm sorry, are there times
I don't look glamorous?
为什么这边胸大这么多？
Why is one bigger?
嘿大家好
Hey, everybody.
抱歉我迟到了
Sorry I'm late.
我来的路上和蝴蝶聊了会儿
I stopped to talk to a butterfly.
爸爸呢？
Where's Dad?
我也不知道
Uh, I don't know.
他整个下午都在车♥库♥里倒腾他自己的装扮
He's been working on his costume
in the garage all afternoon.
他扮谁呢？
Who's he gonna be?
我们家里没有其他人和他凑对了
There's no one left in the family.
我们一起来再嗨翻万圣节吧
We're here to make Halloween great again.
很快就好了
I'll do it quickly.
会是绝佳的
It'll be amazing.
呃爸我不懂
Uh, I don't get it, Dad.
我们都扮家人你怎么扮得像特朗普？
（地♥产♥之王，竞选美国总统，吐槽料多多的）
We're all dressed like family,
and you're dressed like Trump?
嗯
Mm.
在我看来特朗普就跟家人似的我说真的
Trump is like family to me, believe me.
他有我姑姑的发型还有我奶奶对外国人的恨
He's got my aunt's hair and my
grandmother's hatred of foreigners.
不管您说什么我都支持 Mr.B
I love whatever you
say and agree with it, Mr. B.
谢谢 Kyle
Thank you, Kyle.
你肯定很讨厌我这个装扮吧？
You must hate this costume, huh?
你是开玩笑吗？我很喜欢啊
Uh, are you kidding me? I love that costume.
那家伙只手就毁了他自己的派对（政党）
The guy single-handedly
destroyed his own party.
为什么会有人要毁掉自己的派对？
Why would anyone destroy their own party?
我真的好开心我们这么装扮
You know, I am so glad we did this.
才开始就已经很有趣了
This is already so much fun.
才刚刚开始呢
We're just getting started.
看哪 Mandy Baxter
Look at that...
Mandy Baxter, Mandy Baxter.
真漂亮
How beautiful you are.
要知道美貌是唯一你身上你能算术的东西了
You know, beauty is the
only thing that counts.
谢谢特朗普先生
Thank you, Mr. Trump.
我今天时间不太够所以只花了八个小时做准备
I was in a bit of a hurry, so it
only took me eight hours to get ready.
但是我就随时可以准备好
Well, I'm always ready.
我七年级起就穿这身了一直没换过
I put on this outfit in the seventh
grade, and I've never changed out of it.
真是幽默又刻薄呢刻薄是我最喜欢的幽默了
That's funny and mean...
my favorite kind of funny.
我化上妆了就会笑因为小丑们永都是搞笑的
I laugh when I put on makeup,
because clowns are funny.
我从来不笑它会影响到我阴郁的气场
I never laugh. It interferes with my moping.
不过我还是试试吧
But let me try.
哈
Ha.
哈
Ha.
哦不行当我没说过喉咙疼
No. Never mind. It burns.
来嘛 Mr.B以及各位小B们
Come on, Mr. B and all the little Bs.
我们来玩个游戏吧
Let's play a game
我们所有人都超级好而且所有人都赢了
where we're all super nice
and the winner is everybody.
我支持Kyle
Yeah, I'm with Kyle.
我们就只管开心！
Let's all just have fun!
你在这儿真是挺惊讶呢 Ryan
I'm surprised you're here, Ryan.
我知道你不喜欢万圣节的
I know you don't like Halloween.
哦你知道万圣节曾经也就是异教♥徒♥们的节日
Oh, you know, Halloween
used to be a beautiful pagan holiday,
后来Big Sugar学了去
（不知道什么梗）
till it was taken over by Big Sugar.
Big Sugar不是个笑话 Kristin
Big Sugar is not a joke, Kristin.
不过要是我读了我丈夫带回来给我的哪怕一本书
But I guess I would know that if I read
我应该也会知道Big Sugar不是笑话
any of the books my husband
brought home for me to read.
哦是呢你说得对
Oh, yeah, yeah. You're right.
我老婆应该你懂的少做点事多读点书
My wife should, like, you
know, work less and read more.
哦但是等一下我们会饿死的
Oh, but wait. Then we'd starve.
好吧
All right, okay.
大家暂停一下
Everybody, everybody... hang on, hang on.
这会儿我是你们妈妈听好
This is Mom for a second.
Um, listen... Let's...
我们不要带私人感情♥色♥彩好吧？
Let's not take any of
this personally, okay?
我的酒在哪儿？
Where's my Chardonnay?
哦我天
Oh, my God.
我要牢骚多久才能喝到我的酒？
（老妈的经典谐音冷笑话style）
How long do I have to whine
before I can get some wine?
Mrs. B会说很多谐音冷笑话
Mrs. B makes a lot of puns,
但是我想不出那么多所以我准备了题词卡
and they're really hard to come
up with, so I have some cards...
来帮我做个怪人（双关）
to help me be a card.
哇哦
Wow.
今天的你是你最棒的样子 Vanessa
You never looked better, Vanessa.
他这样子是那个五金店里配钥匙的女人
He looks like the woman at the
hardware store who makes keys.
谢谢 Mr. B
Thanks, Mr. B.
Mandy告诉我要穿一个叫做束身衣的东西
Mandy told me to wear
something called SPANX.
我不♥穿♥束身衣……那么勤了
I don't wear SPANX... that often.
拜托妈妈
Come on, Mom.
记得吧我们不带私人感情♥色♥彩的
Remember, we're not taking
any of this personally.
对啊
That's right.
Mandy Baxter 我知道你是个像我一样的自主创业者
Mandy Baxter, Mandy Baxter, I
understand you're a job creator like me.
经营你自己的公♥司♥肯定很费你的脑子吧
It must take quite a bit of brains
to have your own design company.
呃不费
Mm. Nope.
但是据我所知你是个……个商业帝国的CEO呢
But I understand you're the
CEO of... of a vast empire.
我在我爸妈的地下室里做抹胸呢所以应该是个“上衣帝国”才对呢
Well, I make tube tops in my parents'
basement, so it's more of a vest empire.
呃我不只做抹胸好吧
Uh, yeah.
I make more than tube tops.
只是个玩笑啊
It was just a joke.
嘿 Eve Eve Eve
Hey, Evie, Evie, Evie...
那么你喜欢军队我也喜欢
So, you like the military. So do I.
是啊我等了这么多年就为了要进西点军校
Yeah, my whole life I
waited to get into West Point,
基本上把我自己练成了男人但是呃人家还是不要我