最后一人（2011）

Last Man Standing S06E17

Part 2 March 19, 2021, 1:03 p.m.

All right, you know?
好吧你猜怎样
You win.
你赢了
You pick one, and I'll meet him.
你选一个吧我见他
All right, you heard the man.
好你也听到他说什么了
Pick him. He'll meet him.
选他吧他会见他的
Right, right, right.
是是是
All right, Kyle, play me out. - Oh.
好吧 Kyle 给我配个出场音效 - 哦
Hey. All fixed.
嘿都搞定了
You know, it does feel good working on a house.
你知道吗为一所房♥子忙活的感觉确实很好
Now I know why Jimmy Carter does it.
现在我理解Jimmy Carter为什么要这样了
（美国前总统与[Habitat for Humanity仁人家园]组织合作帮助穷苦人们盖建房♥子）
It's a habitat for the humanities.
它确实是一个仁人家园呢
So, how's the book swap going?
那么交换读书进展如何？
Well, I have been getting some traffic,
嗯确实有些流通量
but no one has taken any of my favorite books.
但是没人拿过任何一本我最喜欢的书
I was hoping there would be at least one person in the neighborhood
我本来期待这个社区里起码能有一个人
with the same interests as me.
和我有相同的兴趣爱好
Wow.
哇哦
"Jane Eyre"?
《简•爱》
I did a book report on this in high school that was so good,
我高中的时候做了这本书的读书报告做得太好了
Mandy got an "A" on it, too.
连Mandy都沾光得了A
That's the first one I put in there.
这是我放进来的第一本
It's my favorite book.
我最喜欢这本书了
I guess I shouldn't say that in front of "Wuthering Heights."
哦我不应该当着《呼啸山庄》的面这么说的
Yeah, you also shouldn't say that in front of other people.
是呢不过你也不应该当着其他人的面说
Oh, hey, Mom, it looks like somebody already borrowed this one.
哦嘿好像已经有人借过这本书了呢
There's... There's a note inside.
里……里面有个字条
"I, too, love the sisters Bronte.
“我也很喜欢勃朗特三姐妹
（《简》《呼》的作者及后面会再提到的三妹）
It's nice to find a kindred spirit in the neighborhood."
能在邻里间找到共鸣真的很开心”
Hmm.
嗯
"What tale do you best like to hear?"
“你最喜欢听什么句子？”
That's a quote from "Jane Eyre."
这句话是引用了《简•爱》里的句子
This is so cute.
很有意思啊
Y-You have to leave a note for her.
你得给她留个字条
No, I can't. I can't. I... - Why not?
不不能我不能 - 为什么不能？
Mom, Mom, somewhere out there, you have a friend.
妈妈你在附近某处有个朋友
No, I can't. I can't.
不我不能不能
I-I-I need new stationery
我我需要新的文具
and... and a fountain pen and, uh, lavender spray.
一……一只吸墨钢笔和呃薰衣草喷雾
Uh, no. Uh, no. Tangerine.
哦不哦不橘子喷雾
No, first thought... lavender.
不第一反应都是对的还是薰衣草
Oh, God. Trust yourself, Vanessa!
哦天哪相信你自己啦 Vanessa！
Wow.
哇哦
Whoever left these notes really loves the Bronte sisters.
不管是谁留的字条肯定是很喜欢勃朗特三姐妹的
It's so sad to think they're all dead now.
想到她们现在都不在人世了真的好难过
Wasn't Zsa Zsa the last to go?
莎莎是不是最后一个走的？
（现代演员 2016年12月去世终年99岁）
Yeah, I'm just so excited that there's someone out there
好吧我只是很兴奋周围有个人
that I can talk 19th-century British literature with.
能和我一起聊聊19世纪的英国文学
Ugh.
呃
It's like finding a needle in a really boring haystack.
听起来就像是在一个超无聊的干草垛里找针
Why haven't you gotten together with her?
你为什么还不去和她见面呢？
I'm working on it. I-I don't want to rush it.
我在慢慢了解她我不想太仓促
You know, in the 19th century, people would correspond
你懂的 19世纪的时候人们一般会
for years before they would ever meet.
书信往来好多年之才首次见面
And then when the time came, they were dead.
然后等真正♥见♥面的时候他们已经老死了
Every few days, I'll send a new note revealing a little bit more about myself,
我每隔几天就写给她一张字条稍微多透露一点我的情况
slowly inching us down the road toward friendship.
慢慢拉近我们的距离从而逐渐变成朋友
Or I could smoke her out by Wednesday.
要不这样也行：我放烟熏她不到礼拜四她就自己出来了
You know, Eve's plan doesn't sound so bad, Mom.
我觉得吧 Eve的方法真的不赖妈妈
You've got to be wondering who she is.
你肯定想知道她是谁啊
Oh, I know who she is.
哦我知道她是谁
No, she's a professional woman, elegant but friendly,
不她是个职业女性高雅但友善
fashionable but not trying too hard, in her 50s, looks 40s,
时尚但不夸张 50多岁看起来像40多岁
but... a guy at the post office once said 38.
不过……有一次邮局的一个小伙子说她是38岁
Yeah.
当然啦
When she was 38.
在她38岁那年说的呀
Mom, Mom, just... just let me handle this, okay?
妈妈就……就让我来搞定好吧？
I've got nets, night-vision goggles... and if she's a runner... a dart gun.
我有渔网夜视镜…… 而且要是她很能跑的话我还有飞镖枪
My plan will work.
我的方法肯定管用
A good friendship just takes time.
好的友谊需要长时间慢慢沉淀的
It also usually involves knowing the person's name.
但是一般也需要知道对方的名字啊
You think people just run around telling each other their names?
难道你觉得人们会闲得没事到处跑还彼此交换姓名吗？
Well, I have seen it done.
不过我也看过这么做的人
I know what I'm doing.
我很清楚我在做什么
I know how to make friends.
我很清楚怎么交朋友
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to send a series of notes
现在不好意思我要去写很多的小字条
written in 19th-century script.
用19世纪的手写字体
I knew that thing was gonna attract weirdos.
我早就做好了心理准备那玩意儿会招来一些奇葩
I just didn't think it was gonna come from our own house.
我只是没想到原来那个奇葩是我们自个儿家的
Yeah?
什么事？
Hey, the, uh, contest winner's here, Mr. B.
嘿呃比赛的胜出者来了 B先生
His name's Wayne Sizemore.
他名叫Wayne Sizemore
Okay, cool.
好很好
Hey, Wayne. Mike Baxter.
你好Wayne 我是Mike Baxter
Nice to meet you.
幸会
You, too.
幸会
Your hands are as soft as a liberal's foreign policy.
你的手就像自♥由♥党的对外政策一样软
Well, except these hands actually...
好吧不过这双手确实……
Actually work.
确实很有用
You used that line in Vlog 304,
你在第304个视频里用过这个梗
when you had a sale on Dr. Brown's Camping Soap.
那次你们在促销布朗博士的露营肥皂
Well, I'm flattered. You really know your vlogs.
好吧不胜荣幸你真的很了解你的视频
No, I know your vlogs.
不我是了解你的视频
I've memorized damn near all 500 of them.
我记得将近整丫的500期的每个视频
Oh, is... - Let's not touch that.
哦这是…… - 这个不能碰
Hey, I recognize this chair.
嘿我认得这把椅子
This is where the magic happens.
魔法就是在这里发生的
Well, it's mostly just common sense spoken in a magical way.
不过大多数时候也就只是用魔法的风格说常识罢了
Take a seat.
坐吧
If you have a phone, I'll snap a picture of you.
要是你带了手♥机♥ 我可以帮你拍张照
Well, you know darn well I don't have a phone, Mike Baxter.
你咋会不知道捏我不用手♥机♥了 Mike Baxter
I got rid of that after V-116.
116话之后我就把手♥机♥扔了
In Vlog 116, I said something about phones?
我在第116期视频说了什么关于手♥机♥的话吗？
You told us the government was using our smartphones to track our every move.
你告诉我们政♥府♥在用智能机监控我们的一举一动
You said Big Brother was becoming our weird uncle.
你说“老大哥”快变成“怪蜀黍”了
I was just trying to be funny.
我只是想搞笑一下
No, sir.
不先生
That's another thing I love about your vlogs.
我喜爱你的视频的另一个原因就是
They're not funny.
它们不搞笑
They're a little funny.
它们还是有点搞笑的
If I want comedy, I'll watch CNN.
如果我想看喜剧直接看CNN就行了
（24小时纯播新闻各种新闻）
You said that in V-484, because the media is a joke,
你在484话里说的因为新闻媒体就是个笑话
controlled by Castro, who is still very much alive.
1927-2016 古巴国父二十世纪五十年代领导古巴革命后任古巴总理、共♥产♥党总♥书♥记♥等重要党政军职位 2007年因病移交职权给了胞弟 2011年正式退隐（是的连续当权60年了，虽看着像独♥裁♥，其实政体稳定）
被菲德尔•卡斯特罗•鲁斯控制了而且他还活着呢
Wayne, I'm sure I never said that.
Wayne 我肯定没说过那种话
There's the stuff you say and the stuff you kind of say
有些东西是你说出来的还有些东西差不多算是你说出来的
and the stuff you never say at all, but... I hear it anyway.
还有些东西你从来没有说过不过……我总归能听出来
Oh, you're getting my secret messages.
哦你能理解我传递的秘密信息
Bingo was his name-o.
对啊哈哈哈哈哈黑猫警长
（Bingo后面是某儿歌♥歌♥词）
Well, what else did I say that I didn't say?
好吧那我还说了哪些我并没有说的话？
The only way to get the form of government you want is to take action.
得到你想要的政♥府♥的唯一方式就是采取行动
That sounds reasonable.
听起来很合理啊
Which is why my group of patriots and I are seceding from the United States.
所以我和我那群爱国同伴们在计划脱离美国
That does not.
这似乎就不合理了
We've got 500 acres of farmland
我们搞到了500英亩的田地
that will soon be called the Free State of Northern Colorado.
很快就会更名为北科罗拉多的自♥由♥之州了
Yeah.
是吧
Listen, totally random thought here.
听我说我就是随便想到了随便这么一说
Did they do any kind of background check for the contest winners?
他们有没有对竞赛胜出者做任何背景调查什么的？