最后一人（2011）

Last Man Standing S06E06

Part 2 March 19, 2021, 1:02 p.m.

Yeah, I-I read a similar story, but it
had a cow and a magic bag of beans.
我准备从这只激光笔开始做交换
I'm gonna start by trading this laser pointer
我订[大西洋月刊]送的
I got with my subscription to Atlantic Monthly.
哦你还读大西洋月刊
Oh, you read Atlantic Monthly?
不我只是想要这支免费的笔
Nope, I just wanted this free pointer.
Kyle 那个回形针故事不是真的
Kyle, that... that paper-clip story isn't real.
你看骗子们总是发些那样的文章
See, con artists put that kind
of stuff out there all the time
然后就能占你这样的人便宜了
to take advantage of people like you.
我不认同我觉得人类是慷慨的
I disagree. I think people are generous.
我觉得等我发状态表示新婚
You know, when I... when I post that I'm a newly-wed,
给新娘一个美妙的礼物的时候
trying to get my bride a wonderful gift... - Mm-hmm.
我觉得你会惊讶的
...I think you'll be surprised.
我觉得你最后会送你新娘一个激光笔的
I think you'll end up giving
your bride a laser pointer.
我觉得这想法很贴心 Kyle 知道吗？
I think it's a sweet idea, Kyle. And you know what?
我就跟你换我的旧公文包来帮你开始吧
To get you started, I'll trade you my
old briefcase for the laser pointer.
哦成交
Oh! Deal.
我一直都特别想拿个公文包说这句话
I always wanted to say that holding a briefcase.
别用那些瞎话鼓励他了
Stop encouraging him with this nonsense.
诈骗犯可以把那孩子当饭吃了
A con man will eat that kid for lunch.
啊不会啦……
Ah, I don't think...
哦我去我的饭嘿 Kyle！
Oh, shoot. My lunch. Hey, Kyle!
Kyle！
Kyle!
你还想要一个煎饼吗？
Do you want another pancake?
要一个很好吃
Yeah. They're great.
好的给你
All right. There you go.
爸爸我们呃……我们没事了吗？
Dad, are we, uh ...are we cool?
当然为什么有事呢？
Sure. Why wouldn't we be?
好的我就是想让你理解
Oh, okay, I just want you to understand
做慈善真的对我很重要
that doing charity is really important to me,
而且丹佛避难所真的是个好机构
and Take Shelter Denver is a really good organization.
他是个很棒的机构
It's a great organization.
你要知道我和你妈妈给他们挺多钱的
You know, your mom and I give
quite a bit of money to them.
哦真的吗？有意思
Oh, really? That is so cool.
说不定我会用到你们买♥♥的锤子或什么的呢
Maybe I'll wind up using a hammer
you guys bought or something.
- 那不是很好吗？- 是啊
And wouldn't that be great? Yeah.
给你
There you go.
什么东西？
What's this?
你吃过的东西的账单：煎饼培根大杯咖啡
That's a bill for what you had...
pancakes, bacon, and a venti coffee.
共八块
Eight bucks.
你要收我早饭钱？
You're charging me for breakfast?
还有房♥租
And rent.
恭喜你锤子刚砸下来了
Congratulations. The hammer just came down.
你要在我们家的房♥子里收我房♥租？
You're charging me rent in my family home?
太不可理喻了爸爸
That's insane, Dad.
不对我收的钱比市场价格低了一大截儿
No. I'm charging you way below market value.
这才不可理喻
That's insane.
但我是你最喜欢的女儿跟你去射击场
But I'm your favorite, the one who
goes to the gun range with you
去棒球场去里根故里的女儿
and to the batting cages and
to Ronald Reagan's birthplace,
我才6岁就在那儿感动到哭了
where I was so moved, I wept at age 6.
现在你告诉我它们全都一文不值？
And you're telling me that's all worth nothing?
一文不值？
Nothing?!
我已经没收你果汁钱了
I didn't charge you for the juice.
听我说我只是想让你知道这个世界是怎么运作的 Eve
Listen, I just want you to know how the world works, Eve.
- 我知道它怎么运作的爸爸 - 不你不知道！
I know how it works, Dad. No, you don't!
你还是活在了泡泡里
I think you live in a bubble.
非真实的泡泡要不然真泡泡会很容易破也保护不到你什么
Not a real one, 'cause that would be very
fragile and offer no real protection.
那么你这演讲也要收我钱吗？
So, are you charging me for this lecture, too?
我没在账单上看到这一条啊
'Cause I don't see it here on the bill.
你生活的这个天堂不是真实的好吗？
This paradise you live in is not real, all right?
你要是不赶紧想明白
Unless you get that through your head,
丹佛避难所迟早有天会给你建个房♥子的
Take Shelter Denver's gonna be building you a house someday.
小心点那个培根会要你付出代价的
Hmm. Better watch out. That bacon's gonna cost you.
不会
Mm. Nah.
我有蛇一般的新陈代谢
I have the metabolism of a snake.
反正我觉得它们的新陈代谢很棒
At least I think they have a good metabolism.
我是说它们很苗条嘛
I mean, they're, like, skinny.
听好了老爸要收食物和房♥租钱
Get this... Dad's charging for food and rent.
是但你不用你都免费
Yeah, but not you. E-Everything's on the house.
什么？你怎么不收她的钱？
What? H-How come you're not charging her?
因为她读大学她工作
Because she's going to college, and she's working.
我的天！爸爸太不公平了！你从来都不…… 等等
Oh, my God! Dad, that's so unfair! You never... Wait.
你在拿我作例子？
Are you using me as an example?
是个好例子？
Like, a good one?
我知道很诡异你就顺其自然好了
I know it's weird. Just go with it.
好好所以现在此时此刻我是你最喜欢的女儿？
Okay, okay, So, right now, at this
very moment, I'm your favorite?
即使我从来没去过里根故居？
Even though I never went to Ronald McReagan's house?
你真是逼得我想说爱你却太难啊
You're making this very difficult.
所以基本上现在的情况就是
So, basically, I'm being punished
我因为想充实间隔年而被罚了
for trying to get the most out of my gap year.
去找个工作啊你个嬉皮士！
Get a job, hippy!
我好爱这种感觉
I love this.
亲爱的我觉得你偏离重心了
Honey, I think you've lost focus.
我在尽力帮你重新回正就是这样
And I'm doing whatever I can to help
you regain that, that's all. Yeah.
你个老赖
Deadbeat.
好啊
All right.
知道吗？
Well, you know what?
好啊数数吧老家伙
Fine. Count it, old man.
没有小费！
No tip!
嘿嘿嘿 Kyle Kyle
Hey, hey, hey. Kyle, Kyle.
你的换车计划怎么样了？
How's the swapping for a car going?
哦特别好
Oh, fantastic.
我用你的公文包换了个咖啡机
I, uh... I traded your briefcase
for an espresso machine...
然后换了个迪厅球灯然后一路换到了新电脑
Uh-huh... and then that for a disco ball,
and all the way up to a new computer.
特别好
Fantastic!
然后我换了这个
Which I traded for this.
请告诉我里面装着几摞百元大钞
Please tell me that's packed with $100s.
不是是更棒的东西：善业福报
No, something even better... good karma.
哦那它就是空的
Oh, then it's empty.
我和一个需要电脑的贫困大学生换的
I-I traded with an underprivileged student
who needed a computer for college.
哦那么你真的帮了那个孩子大忙呢伙计
Oh, yeah, well, you really did that kid a solid, man.
不我知道谁才得到了更多
No, I know who got the better end of that deal.
行了 Kyle 不要再搞了
Okay, Kyle, this ends right now.
- 哎呀 Ed 别强迫他嘛 - 不行不行
- Oh, come on, Ed. Leave the boy alone. - No, no. No, no.
是时候他该好好听听了
Come on. It's time that he hears this. No, no.
他马上要结婚了对吧？
He's about to get married, all right?
是时候了解现实了
It's time he learned an important fact of life.
Kyle 人类不是慷慨的
Kyle... people are not generous.
他们很糟糕的
They're horrible.
那像Kyle这样的人呢？
What... What about people like Kyle?
他是我认识的最贴心的人了
He's the sweetest person I know.
我都脸红了
Blushing.
万幸世界上还有Kyle这样的好人
Well, thank goodness there are good people like Kyle,
但是还有更多差劲的人
but there's plenty more bad people,
比如那个骗走了他电脑的人
like the guy who scammed him out of his computer.
他没有骗我啦
He didn't scam me.
哦是吗？他网上发的要电脑消息
Oh, really? Yet, he went online asking for a computer.
要是他自己没有电脑怎么上网的？
If he didn't have one, how did
he get online in the first place?
我没想到那一点
I never thought of that.
也许他用的是工作地的朋友的或者图书馆的电脑？
Maybe he used one at work, or a friend's, or the library's.
图书馆已经不复存在了你该读读报纸了
Libraries don't exist anymore. Read a paper.
而且你要申请入大学也必须上网的
And you have to apply to college online, too.
他怎么申请到的？
How did he do that?
他没申请到你被诈骗了