最后一人（2011）

Last Man Standing S06E16

Part 3 March 19, 2021, 1:03 p.m.

Uh, so, I-I brought the quilt home,
我真的已经很很很小心了
and I was being really, really careful with it.
哦天哪哦
Oh, God. Oh.
然后Boyd用它做了个堡垒……在雨里
And then Boyd used it to make a fort... in the rain.
哦天哪哦我的上帝啊
Oh, boy. Oh, my God!
嘿没事的它也需要彻底冲洗一下了
Hey, it's okay. It needed to be rinsed off.
你奶奶是盖着它去世的
Your grandmother died in that.
不 Mike 不能把它们弄湿了
No, Mike, you can't get those wet.
不不只有女巫才不能弄湿
No, no, that's just witches.
（最初源自绿野仙踪后普遍认可女巫怕水）
而且肯定不能把它们放进烘干机里
And you certainly can't put them in the dryer.
哦 Kris - 不过我把所有的碎片都收好了
Oh! Kris. - But I-I saved all the pieces.
我们可以再把它们缝起来
We could sew them back together.
我是说你喜欢玩拼图的是吧？
I mean, you like puzzles, don't you?
哦！
Oh!
嘿！- 什么……
Hey! - What...
我美丽的母亲在这儿啊
There's my wonderful mother.
任务中止任务中止任务中止
Mission aborted. Mission aborted. Mission aborted.
Mike 停停停
Mike, stop. Stop. Stop.
你想要什么 Eve？
What did you want, Eve?
呃我不知道
Uh, I don't know.
我想要什么吗爸爸？还是我晚点才想要？
Do I want anything, Dad, or should I want it later?
什么事？怎么了？
What is it? What's going on?
这就是你一直拍我马屁的原因？
I mean, is this why you've been buttering me up?
她也有坏消息吗？
Does she have bad news, too?
我……我出轨了
I... I'm having an affair.
爸爸别担心我没事的
Dad, it's okay. I got this.
呃妈妈我已经决定去读大学了
Um... Mom, I've decided to go to college.
什么？你已经……你已经决定了？
What? You have? You... You have?
好……好吧好啊！很好啊！
W... Well, okay! That's great!
非……非常好啊！
That... That's wonderful!
好我们的任务就到此为止吧
Yeah, that's all there is to that.
嗯
Yeah.
就这样吧！
Yep!
呃
Uh...
是空军学院
it's the Air Force Academy.
哦
Oh.
你你是在开玩笑是吗？
Y-You're kidding, right?
不是
No.
那是一所大学哦大学哦而且不是我的密歇根哦
It's college. It's college. It's not Michigan.
嘿亲爱的还是有很多好处的啊
Hey, babe, there's so much good here.
你可以……
You're...
好吧呃确实帮我挡了挺多
Well, uh, certainly took the heat off
被子事件的枪子儿呢
the whole quilt thing.
把你那片我们家的钥匙交出来拿来
Give me your house key. Come on.
Eve的卧室看来情况不妙
Eve's bedroom. This can't be good.
为什么那个孩子做的每件事都会吓到我？
Why does everything that kid does scare me?
所以确实不妙
And it's not good.
亲爱的我们试试别那么伤感
Honey... let's try not to get so emotional about this.
哦是呢这话居然出自某位橄榄球死忠粉之口呢
Oh, yeah, this coming from the man who pretended he wasn't crying
在Peyton Manning赢了超级碗后退休的时候他假装他没哭呢
when Peyton Manning retired after winning the Super Bowl.
他可是四度颈部手术之后再回归赛场的啊
He came back from four neck surgeries.
Mike 这都是你造成的
Mike, this is your fault.
她崇拜你
She idolizes you.
你是个风险投资者 - 是
You're a risk taker. - Yeah.
只有你能赌成功并全身而退她觉得她也可以做到
Only you can pull it off, and she thinks she can pull it off, too.
她可以做到的也许不是以我的那种方式
She can pull it off maybe not with my style,
但是她肯定可以让她自己的路好好走下去
but she's got her own thing going.
但是要是这次她不能怎么办呢？
But what if she can't this time?
我是说要是她是Goose而不是Maverick怎么办呢？
I mean, what... what if she is Goose and not Maverick?
你是说《壮志凌云》？
From "Top Gun"?
（Goose身亡 Maverick终成优秀飞行员）
他们是海军飞行员
Those were Navy aviators.
他们根本就不该离开那条船
They should have never gotten out of that boat.
我只是担心她并不是出于正确的原因而选择这么做
I'm just worried she's not doing this for the right reason.
她的音乐事业没有起色
Her music career isn't taking off,
所以她就跑去干♥她♥了解的事情找安慰
so she's just running to something she knows.
是很棒的大学
Yeah, a great college.
离这里只有一小时车程
It's only an hour drive from here...
或者要是他们允许她从学校坐飞机的话就只要15分钟了
or 15 minutes if they let her take a jet off campus.
不你总是能找到好的切入点辩论赢我
No. You always have good arguments.
我在她想进后备军官训练队的时候就听过你的辩论了
And I heard them when she wanted to join Junior ROTC.
我接受了
Went along.
她申请西点军校的时候我也听过
I heard them when she applied to West Point.
我接受了
I went along.
她要过个间隔年的时候我又听过
I heard them about taking a gap year.
我接受了
I went along.
Mike 我不要再听你的理性分♥析♥了
Mike, I'm done listening to reason.
我是说我不在乎理不理性了
I mean, I-I don't care about reason.
我只在乎我的女儿
I just care about my daughter.
只要我们还在为她出钱
And as long as we are writing the checks for it,
我们就还有些发言权
we still have some say in it.
我的发言就是她不能去那所学校
And I say she's not going to that school.
好吧
Okay.
我现在再说那所学校免费会不会不是时候？
Would this be a bad time to say that school's free?
你很爱这样是吧？
You're loving this, aren't you?
Kyle就在我后面 Ed 我有个计划
Kyle's right behind me. Ed, I have a plan.
呃你知道关于哈利·波特的什么东西吗？
Um, do you know anything about Harry Potter?
《流动陆军外科医院》里的那个上校？
The colonel on "M-A-S-H"?
那你等下就顺着我说好吧？
Just go with me, okay?
哇哦
Wow.
你真的跑上了那么多台阶
You really ran up those stairs.
我呃我想和Ed说会儿话亲爱的
I, uh... I needed a moment with Ed, honey.
呃狗狗出了点问题
Um, there's a problem with the dog.
什么怎么了？
What, really?
哦你想要他换个姿势吗？
Oh, do you want him in a different position?
那我就得把它浸泡一个礼拜
'Cause I'll have to soak him for about a week.
Ed不能把Bogey留在办公室里
Ed can't keep Bogey in his office.
并不是他不爱这个狗
It's not that he doesn't love the dog.
只是……
It's just that...
Bogey是一个魂器
Bogey's a Horcrux.
你是说就像在《哈利·波特》里那样？
You mean like in "Harry Potter"?
不可能吧
No way.
我恐怕是的
I'm afraid so.
所以有一块你的灵魂碎片在Bogey的身体里？
So, there's a piece of your soul in Bogey?
当然为什么不呢？
Sure. Why not?
所以你就像是伏地魔那样
So, you're just like Voldemort.
从头像到脚
Right down to my socks.
等等你知道《哈利·波特》是虚构故的吗？
Wait. You do know "Harry Potter" is fiction?
《最后的莫希干人》也是啊
So is "The Last of the Mohicans."
你不会要告诉我没有莫希干这个民族吧？
You're not telling me there's no such thing as a Mohican, are you?
好吧我也不知道我是不是相信你
All right, well, I don't know if I believe you,
不过这确实可以给我们格兰芬多群一个好的故事话题
but this will make a great story for my Gryffindor group chat.
所以管他呢
So, what the heck?
谁是个乖乖的魂器？
Who's a good Horcrux?
是你呀！你可乖了！
You! You!
哦 Mandy 这真是个好主意 Mandy
Oh, Mandy. That was a great idea, Mandy.
嗯非常感……
Yeah. Thank you so...
呃不过我不是很确定
Yeah. I'm not so sure, though.
我觉得要是按照书里说的 Kyle现在可能得杀了你
I think, according to the books, Kyle may have to kill you now.
让他试试
Let him try.
好久都没有人来追我了
Been a long time since someone took a run at me.
来吧
Come on.
妈妈嗨
Mom. Hi.
你不接电♥话♥是有什么原因吗？
Is there a reason you're not answering your phone?
有原因我有来电显示
Yes. I have caller I.D.
我只是想给你点时间冷静一下
I was just trying to give you some time to cool down.
那时候在家里我不知道说什么好了
Look, I didn't know what to say back at the house.
这么说怎么样：“我很高兴你进入了一所精英大学”
How about, "I'm glad you got into an elite college"?
听我说 Evie
Look, Evie...
我知道这是你想要的
I know this is what you want.
但是我想要夜里能安心睡着