最后一人（2011）

Last Man Standing S06E06

Part 3 March 19, 2021, 1:02 p.m.

He didn't. You were conned.
他好像很聪明就好像已经上过大学了一样
He seemed very smart, like he'd already gone to college.
好了 Kyle 你开始像Ed一样看世界了
Okay. Kyle, you're starting to sound like Ed.
回来回来做你自己
Snap out of it, man. Come on. Come on.
Mr. Alzate是我的导师我要是听他的建议就不会走错了
Mr. Alzate is my mentor, and I've never
gone wrong listening to his advice.
还有抱歉我浪费了您的公文包在痴梦上
And I'm sorry I wasted your briefcase on some silly dream.
我只……
I jus...
你干嘛啊 Ed？
Why'd you do that, Ed?
我爱那孩子视如己出
I love that kid like a son.
但是他的好心让他容易被很多东西伤害
But his good heart, you know, makes him vulnerable
比如流感因为他总是把他的外套脱给被人穿
for lots of things, like the flu, because
he keeps on giving away his coat.
我只知道Kyle用他自己的眼睛而非你的看世界的时候
All I know is Kyle was a lot happier
when he was looking at the world
要比现在开心得多
through his eyes and not yours.
相信我这次我是对的
Trust me. I'm right on this one.
不不不你说没有多少人像Kyle那样的时候
No, no, no, you were right when you said
你是对的
there weren't very many people like Kyle.
但是亏了你现在又少一个这样的人了
Now, thanks to you, there's one less.
也许那也不是件坏事
Well, maybe that's not a bad thing.
你的心怎么了 Ed？
What happened to your heart, Ed?
它以前在……
It used to be...
……这儿的
...right here.
现在……
And now...
它在那儿
...it's in there.
嗨我是Outdoor Man的Mike Baxter
Hey, Mike Baxter here for Outdoor Man.
看看这个新的声纳寻鱼器
Check out this new sonar fish finder.
要是Nemo也有这些玩意儿中的一个
（Finding Nemo 海底总动员红色小丑鱼尼莫）
You know, if Nemo had one of these suckers,
就不需要花90分钟时间找Dory了
（Nemo爸爸的伙伴那只蓝鱼）
it wouldn't have taken 90 minutes to find Dory.
你知道一些人……那些自♥由♥党们……
You know, some people... liberals...
说不应该给渔民这东西
will say it's not right to
give fishermen one of these,
因为这对鱼不公平
'cause it's not fair to the fish.
知道还有什么不公平吗？
You know what else isn't fair?
鱼能在水里呼吸
Fish being able to breathe under water.
总之哦说到哪儿了？
Anyhow, oh, where was I?
说到泡泡保护垫对吧？
Talking about bubble wrap, right?
泡泡保护垫
Bubble wrap...
真是促进包装业的伟大发明
It's a great invention for packing,
但是涉及养孩子的时候它却是个坏办法
but a terrible idea when it
comes to raising our kids.
有时候艰苦的课也许很残忍♥
Sometimes, hard lessons may be cruel,
但是想把你的孩子与现实隔绝的话
but trying to insulate your kids from reality
肯定会让泡泡保护里的东西破掉的
pretty much guarantees that the contents will end up broken.
抱歉弄破了你的泡泡
Sorry to burst your bubble.
哦嗨 Eve 我没注意到你在那儿
Oh, hi, Eve. I didn't see you standing there.
什么事？
What's up?
哦我只是在考虑你说的“现实世界”和付房♥租
Oh, I just thought about what you said
about the "real world" and paying rent.
你终于想明白了
And you came to your senses.
我要搬出去住了
I'm moving out.
嘿
Hey.
到底怎么回事？
What the hell is going on?
Eve跟我说她要搬出去
Eve told me she's moving out.
我可以在瞎扯淡之前先喝杯酒看份报吗？
Can I just get a martini and read the
paper before all the yackity-yack?
都怪你
This is your fault.
你开始收她早饭钱？
You started charging her for breakfast?
真的很荒谬因为你每次都没把培根弄熟
Which is ridiculous because
you always undercook the bacon.
就好像我嘴里咬了一只猪一样
I mean, it's like I got a pig in my mouth.
想喝杯酒然后再谈这个吗？
Want to get a glass of wine and we'll talk about this?
哦好啊然后你也收我酒钱吗？
Oh, yeah, so you charge me for that, too?
要是我记着你所有的酒帐你肯定得再多找份工作了
If I ran a tab for the wine you drink,
you'd have to get a second job.
行了
Stop it.
她哪儿也不会去好吗？
She's not going anywhere, okay?
但是她跟我说得很严肃 Mike
Yeah, well, she sounded pretty serious to me, Mike.
但是她根本租不起公♥寓♥
Yeah, well, she can't afford an apartment.
她要怎么拿出第一个月和最后一个月的房♥租？
How is she gonna afford her first and last month's rent?
给他们唱首歌♥吗？
Sing them a song?
行啊我觉得那可比钱要好
Yeah, yeah. I think that's better than money.
什么？
What?
好吧我能理解房♥东不会那么觉得
Well, I could see how a landlord wouldn't.
她要在工作履历里写些什么呢？
What's she gonna put on the employment application?
第一份工作：志愿者哇哦
First job... volunteer. Whoo-hoo.
哦是的她没有信用记录/增光的档案
Ah, that's true. You know, and she has no credit.
对呢没有信用记录/增光的档案
No credit. Right.
是呢真是好啊
All right. Well, this is fantastic, yeah, yeah.
在书面材料里我们女儿整个一废物
I mean, on paper, our daughter's a total loser.
终于开窍了
There you go.
全局规划都是为了让她明白现实生活是什么
All part of the master plan to get
her to see how life really works.
好吧对不起我有些反应过激了
All right. Look, I-I'm sorry if I overreacted.
- 我只是不想我的小女儿搬出去
- 理解理解
- I just... I just don't want my little girl to move out.
- Got it, got it.
接受道歉了不过你其实应该多道歉一次
Apology accepted. Although, you might have to apologize again
因为你对培根的无理攻击
for that senseless attack on bacon.
哦
Oh.
哦嘿你们想让我把Eve的东西囤哪儿？
Oh, hey, where do you guys want me to store Eve's stuff?
因为她清空得越快我越能早点把墙砸了
'Cause the sooner she's clearing out,
the sooner I can knock down that wall,
把她的房♥间改造成我梦想中的衣橱
turn her room into my dream closet.
哦对了我要把她的房♥间改造成我梦想中的衣橱
Ooh, by the way, I'm turning
her room into my dream closet.
好好不可能
Yeah, yeah. That's not gonna happen.
但是爸爸我是你最喜欢的女儿啊而且这是我的梦想……和衣橱
But, Dad, I'm your favorite, and
it's my dream... and a closet.
现在看起来Eve应该不会搬出去的
It doesn't look like Eve is moving out quite yet.
哦她没跟你们说吗？
Oh. She didn't tell you guys?
她已经搬了
She already did.
她住Kristin和Ryan家的地下室
She's living in Kristin and Ryan's basement.
什么？！
What?!
啊！
Ugh!
看来她找到方法避开你的全局规划了
It looks like she found a way around your master plan.
还没走到够绝好吗？
This has gone far enough, okay?
哦我的天真是糟糕
Oh, God. This is terrible.
我懂
I know.
拿把锯子来吧我们可以在我的新衣橱里聊聊
Grab a saw. We can talk about it in my new closet.
嘿 Ed 你想用烤炉还是烤箱做乌鸦？
Hey, hey, Ed! How do you like your crow... broiled or baked?
你到底在说什么？
What the hell are you talking about?
告诉他告诉他我就能
Tell him, tell him, so I can remember
一辈子记住他的表情了
the look on his face for the rest of my life.
我给Mandy弄到车了
I got Mandy's car.
哦！这就是我的新屏保照片了
Oh! And that's my new screen saver.
你弄到车是什么意思？怎么弄的？
W-What do you mean you got a car? How?
一个汽车交易商在找我用电脑换的那个餐盒
Some guy who owns a car dealership
was looking for the exact lunch box
于是他就跟我换了
I traded the computer for, so he's trading me.
所以 Ed 在乌鸦上
So, Ed, on the... on the crow, you know,
涂上辣椒酱放点烤洋葱
sriracha sauce, maybe some grilled onions.
这又不能证明什么
That proves nothing.
只证明了一点：也许收集餐盒的人是神经病
Nothing, except maybe that people who
collect lunch boxes are lunatics.
我说的话依然站得住脚
What I said still holds.
我是带着敬意这么说的：先生我觉得也许有时候我可以做你的导师
With respect, sir, I-I think this might
be one time when I can be your mentor.
所以你仍然坚持你对人们的想法是吧？
So, you still insist on believing in people, huh?
哦这之后比以前更坚信了
Oh, after this, more than ever.
好吧我想你就是这样的你吧
Hmm. All right, well, I guess that's just who you are.
也许这就是为什么好事情会为你发生
Maybe that's why good things happen for you.
比如什么？
Like what?
哦对了车对了
Oh, right, the car. Right.
Mandy肯定不会相信的
Mandy's not gonna believe it.
你要是没事做了我会给你找点事做的
If you don't have anything to
do, I'll find something for you.
哦真……真的太难得见到你错的时候了Ed
Oh, it... it... it's just so