最后一人（2011）

Last Man Standing S06E07

Part 2 March 19, 2021, 1:02 p.m.

Now, I'm going to need all eyes on me,
所以你们想办法保证Boyd能快速地
so make sure Boyd doesn't take his sweet time
为我把戒指从走廊那头送过来
bringing the rings down the aisle.
呃我们没法做任何保证哦
Uh, well, we can't make any promises.
(Stammers) Mm.
不好意思什么……
I'm sorry, what is... (Stammers)
什么意思？
What is that?
没什么好吗？
It's... It's nothing, okay?
Boyd有时候会怯场僵在原地
Sometimes, Boyd gets stage fright and freezes.
就像去年圣诞节的表演只有两位贤士到了耶稣面前
（故事里是三位贤士跟随星星的指引，
带了三样礼物黄金、乳香、没药送给婴儿耶稣）
Like last year's Christmas pageant when
only two wise men made it to Jesus.
是的我们家这位小贤士困在了后台满手的没药
Yeah. Our little magi was stuck backstage with a handful of myrrh.
哦不你们要把这问题给了了
Uh, no. You need to fix this.
我没时间再选个送戒指的小花童了
I don't have time to cast another ring bearer, okay?
Ryan 你别的地方就没有孩子了吗？
Ryan, don't you have some other children somewhere?
Mandy 放松啦
Mandy, relax, okay?
我保证Boyed会好好通过走廊送上戒指的
I promise that Boyd will make it down the aisle with the rings.
他们说不要和孩子一起做事但是他是家人没办法
(Sighs) They say never work with kids, but he's family, so...
嗨我们在干嘛……不哦！
Hey, what are we doing... No. Mm!
我都说了多少次了
How many times have I told you...
茶香玫瑰围绕在绣球花周围
the tea roses go around the hydrangeas,
然后加一滴滴紫色
and then you add a splash of purple.
这可不是一滴滴这是一滩
That's not a splash. That's a sploosh.
小滩大滴
Less sploosh, more splash.
谢了
Thank you.
我们什么时候才能向她撒米？能改成扔石头吗？
（西式婚礼上每人发一袋米，
新人从教堂走出来的时候往他们身上撒）
When do we get to throw rice at her, and can it be rocks?
哇哦我想象的我自己的葬礼就是这样的
Wow! This is how I pictured my funeral.
不过我想要更多的花更多的哭泣
Except I want more flowers, more crying,
丹佛野马老总要来参加还要说“他真是匹种马”
and John Elway up here going, "He was such a stud."
亲爱的解决高帮鞋问题了吗？
Honey, did you fix the high-tops problem?
解决了
Yes.
Ed不会穿高帮鞋参加婚礼了
Ed won't be wearing high tops to the wedding.
哦你看 Mandy 你♥爸♥爸解决了
Oh, see, Mandy? Dad fixed it.
因为他不会来参加婚礼了
Because he's not coming to the wedding.
Ed不做伴郎了？
Ed isn't the best man anymore?
Mandy 亲爱的我向你保证不会有事的
Mandy, honey, now, I'm sure everything is gonna be fine.
亲爱的这是要搞什么？
(Chuckles) Honey, what the hell happened?
你知道的 Ed嘛
You know Ed.
我们讲到了穿黑鞋子我们讲到了蜘蛛侠然后他不干了
Talked about wearing black shoes, we
talked about Spider-Man, and he quit.
倒计时Mandy女王的爆♥炸♥ 还有3秒 2秒 1秒
Queue Mandy's explosion in 3, 2, 1...
很好
This is great.
好吧我真失望
Well, that was a let-down.
说实话我甚至都没希望Ed参加
Honestly, I never even wanted Ed in the ceremony.
哦
MIKE: Oh.
因为到时候的画面会像是
Because the pictures were all gonna be, like,
全都是年轻人然后角落里有个伏地魔懂我意思吧？
all these young people, and then in the
corner, like, Voldemort, you know?
其实我觉得伏地魔不会参加你的婚礼的
You know, I don't think Voldemort would come to your wedding
因为他已经被你吓坏了
because he'd be frightened of you.
我得去找点喝的
I'm going to get something to drink.
嗨我把“婴儿的呼吸”买♥♥回来了
（满天星的花语是baby's breath，恋人的鼻息很轻柔）
Hey, I got the baby's breath.
如果有人早告诉我它其实是花的话我应该能早回来很多
I would've been here a lot sooner if
someone had told me it was a flower.
哦呃有个坏消息
Oh, uh, bad news.
呃 Ed不干了
Um, Ed quit.
什么？
What?
但是好消息是你得去选个新伴郎了
Yeah, but good news. You get to pick a new best man.
不为什么Mr. Alzate不干了？
No. Why would Mr. Alzate quit?
不知道婚礼容易让人抓狂吧
I don't know. Weddings make some people crazy.
(Chuckles)
(Doorbell rings)
- Hey.
- Hey, hi.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Okay, okay.
文具店说
So, the stationery store said
这是唯一一种还没试过的一抹蓝色了
（西式婚礼的 “有旧、有新、有借、有蓝”大家应该都知道吧）
this is the only shade of blue we haven't tried yet
而且他们再也不想见到我了
and that they never want to see me again.
哦谢谢 Mr. Larabee
Oh, thanks, Mr. Larabee.
哦哦对了你做过婚礼的伴郎吗？
Ooh, ooh, hey, have you ever been the best man at a wedding?
很多次
(Sighs) Lots of times.
只是非正式
Just not officially.
很好
Fabulous.
Kyle在找新伴郎呢
Kyle here is shopping for a new best man.
哦别
Oh, okay. (Chuckles)
我很乐意做你婚礼燕麦粥上唯一的葡萄干
（肤色问题）
Now, I'd love to be the only raisin in your wedding oatmeal.
我想我就算了吧
I think I'll pass.
(Door closes)
Mandy我觉得谁也替代不了Mr. Alzate
Mandy, I don't think anybody can replace Mr. Alzate.
你呢 Eve？
What about you, Eve?
你这么男人婆而且你的肩膀
You're kind of mannish, and you don't have the shoulders
和那条伴娘裙也不搭
to pull off that bridesmaid dress.
我就不能出现在神经质的“伴娘正在打扮”的照片里了
Well, then I won't be in the wacky
"bridesmaids getting ready" photos.
- 成交 - 谢谢
- Deal. - Thank you.
嘿爸爸 Eve就是新伴郎了
Hey, Dad. Eve is the new best man.
什……什么？
What... What?
什么？你没意见？
What? Are you okay with this?
Mandy开心就好
Whatever makes Mandy happy.
哦谢谢亲爱的
Aww, thanks, sweetie.
好现在把她弄到裁缝那儿去
Okay, let's go get her to the tailor.
希望他能做出合适的晚礼服把这堆东西给收拾好
Hopefully, he can make a tux and do something with all this.
好疼啊我要好好想想写祝词的事儿了
Ouch. I'm going to be thinking about that when I'm writing my toast.
你会疼似被火烧的！
You're gonna get burnt!
难以置信Ed不干了
I can't believe Ed quit.
是啊而且难以置信我们居然还在干
Yeah. And I can't believe we haven't.
为了一会儿的迎宾我在练习我的
So, for the reception later, I'm practicing my
“我不想去你那桌但是谢谢你的礼物”招手姿势
"I don't want to come to your table,
but thank you for the gift" wave.
那么这么招手如何？
So, how does this look?
来自牧师的小礼物
A little gift from the reverend.
就我们自己关起门来说：我觉得他好像已经喝了一些了
Between us, I think he's had a few.
哦妈妈你哭了
Aww, Mom, you're crying.
我只是以为这一天永远不会到
I just thought this day would never come.
没事啦会很好的
Come on. It's gonna be great.
你知道他们怎么说吗
You know what they say...
我不止得到了个儿子我还花了好大一笔钱
I'm not just gaining a son, I'm spending a fortune.
哦妈妈爸爸我要谢谢你们
Oh, Mom, Dad, I want to thank you.
我不是很确定你们具体在做些什么
I'm not sure what exactly you've been doing,
但是肯定做了很多事因为你俩都显得很疲惫
but it must be a lot because you both look exhausted.
哟
Yo!
伴郎有事儿要说
Here on best-man biz.
把相机准备好因为这很可能是她最后一次作为单身女人发脾气了
Get the camera ready 'cause this could
be her last hissy fit as a single gal.
发……发生了什么事？出什么问题了？
What... What happened? Is something wrong?
没有事情发生啦
Nothing happened.
Kyle要穿高帮鞋
Kyle's wearing the high tops.
哦看啊有事情要发生了
Well, look at that. Something's happened.
Kyle不能穿高帮鞋
Kyle cannot wear the high tops.
作为伴郎我觉得我是那个义不容辞地要
Well, as best man, I feel it is incumbent upon me
赶紧离开这儿的人
to be the one to get the hell out of here.
爸爸你得解决掉现在
Dad, you need to fix this, now.
我的额头上马上要爆出一根青筋了会毁了我的照片的
A vein is about to pop out of my forehead and ruin my pictures.
Mandy 我爱你但是我不干了
Mandy, I love you... but I'm out.
你说什么？
(Chuckles) What are you talking about?
我知道这场婚礼让你很担惊受怕
I know this wedding scares you,
所以我为你做了一切我能做的好让你一切舒心
and I fixed everything I can to make it better for you,
但是你已经从担惊受怕变成惊人的可怕了
but you've crossed from scared into scary.
呃呃呃呃妈妈你快点让爸爸解决掉
Uh, uh, uh, uh, Mom, make Dad fix this.
呃我站你♥爸♥这边
Uh, I... I'm with your father.
你已经变成噩梦了我们不干了
You have become a nightmare, and we're out.
哇哦
Wow.
好啊
Fine.
我去自己解决问题
I'm gonna go handle things myself.