最后一人（2011）

Last Man Standing S06E16

Part 2 March 19, 2021, 1:03 p.m.

我们从来不必对我们的孩子做宣讲
We never have to lecture our kids.
我们只是想做而已
We just want to.
我是说你不必劝我因为我已经决定要去读大学了
I mean, you don't have to because I've already decided to go to college.
我只是不想当着妈妈的面谈这个
I just didn't want to talk about it in front of Mom
因为她不会喜欢我决定去的那所学校的
because she's not gonna like where I decided to go.
你要去密歇根大学不是俄亥俄州立大学？
You're going to Michigan, not Ohio State?
（老爸密歇根毕业的，老妈俄亥俄，前几季有比大学剧情）
哦那她确实会崩溃的
Oh, that's gonna tear her up.
让我来告诉她
Let me tell her.
我要去空军学院
It's the Air Force Academy.
现在申请空军学院已经来不及了 It's too late to apply
to the Air Force Academy.
我已经申请了而且还被录取了
Well, I already applied and got accepted.
你都没知会我和你妈就搞完了？
You did that without your mom and I knowing?
怎么你要做隐形战斗机/秘密行动飞行员吗？
What, do you want to learn to be a stealth fighter pilot?
首先我19岁了不需要你们的支持了
Well, first off, I'm 19... Don't need your approval.
不过你还是特别希望有我们的支持
And yet you always want it.
很遗憾这是真的
Sad, but true.
总归我给我的面试长官Liaison留了个很好的印象
Anyway, I made a really good impression on my Admissions Liaison Officer,
他帮我通过了选拔
who helped me through the process.
还记得那位帮我给西点军校做推荐的女议员吗？
And remember the congresswoman who nominated me for West Point?
当然
Yeah, of course.
她也同样很乐意帮我给空军学院做推荐
She was just as happy to nominate me for the Air Force Academy.
所以就连一个民♥主♥党也能看到你有多么优秀
So, even a Democrat could see how good you are.
你真的选上了空军学院？
You really got into the Air Force Academy?
真的选上了
I really did.
我真是……我真是太为你感到骄傲了
I am... I'm so proud of you.
这是好消息啊！
That is great news!
这就是我所渴望的支持
There's that approval I crave.
好吧你的第一个任务就是在告诉完你妈妈之后还能活下来
Well, your first mission will be to see if you can survive telling your mom.
你那时候没进成西点军校
When you didn't get into West Point,
我和你妈以为你对军队就没想法了
your mom and I figured you were done with the military.
嗯我那时候确实没了但是你跟我说要看开些多留点余地
Well, I was, but you told me to keep my options open.
所以我认真考虑了以后申请了空军
So I thought about it, and I applied to the Air Force.
听好跟你妈说的时候让我低调点别说是我对你的影响知道吗？
Listen, when you tell your mom, downplay my role in this, okay?
过一个间隔年对我来说是好事情
It's a good thing that I took my gap year
因为我能有点时间来准备反弹
because it gave me a little time to bounce back.
而且这还给我的申请书提供了很好的话题
Plus, it gave me a great topic for my admissions essay...
“我为什么憎恨西点军校”
"Why I Hate West Point."
对手学院很吃这一套的
And the rival academy ate that up.
哦就随便想象一下
Imagine that.
所以…… 所以去空军空军啊！
So... So the Air Force. Air Force!
或者部队里喜欢叫他们是“空中优步”
Or as the Army likes to call them, "the Uber of the sky."
我们震而又惊
We're the shock and awe.
部队行进而来被欢乐的村民们热情拥抱
The Army just marches in and gets hugged by the happy villagers.
那么我们要怎么告诉妈妈呢？
So, how are we gonna tell Mom?
我得先让她有个好心情肯定的
I got to get her in a good mood, that's for sure.
所以得准备好一部电影一些冰淇淋……而且我可能还得摸她的脚了
That'll involve a movie, some ice cream... and I may have to touch her feet.
好吧我们只有几分钟时间
Okay, we only got a couple of minutes.
他快停好车了
He just pulled into the parking lot.
哦他会很开心的
Oh, he's gonna be so happy.
能永远和他的好伙伴并肩工作是啊
Being able to work side by side with his best buddy forever... Yeah.
多亏了动物标本的奇迹
...thanks to the miracle of taxidermy.
哦！你看他多可爱啊
Aww! Isn't he cute?!
是啊我是说你也知道Bogey的状况有点不理想
Yeah, I mean, you know Bogey was in kind of rough shape,
所以我得用些红猫的毛和黄鼠狼的牙给他收拾打扮一下
so I had to spruce him up with some bobcat fur and weasel teeth.
说实话这是你目前为止最棒的作品真的
Honestly, it's your best work yet, really.
（明明是那个犰狳和小鱼漂亮得多-.-）
我觉得这个甚至比你用高顶礼帽做的那个松鼠还好
I think it's even better than that squirrel you made with the top hat.
啊大家早上好
Ah, good morning, everyone.
早早早早
Morning, morning, morning, morning.
早上好 Ed - 早
Good morning, Ed. - Morning.
你们俩阴笑什么呢？
What are you two grinning about?
哦没什么
Oh, nothing.
只是觉得今天真好还能活着……
It's just a good day to be alive...
……或者显得像是活着
...or appear to be alive.
Kyle 能进来谈谈吗？
Kyle, may I have a word?
我现在看着的这是什么东西？
What am I looking at?
哦那是Bogey 先生至少大部分是
Well, that's Bogey, sir. Mostly.
它在这儿干嘛？
What's it doing in here?
它来治愈你的痛 Ed 啊
It's healing your pain, Ed. Ah.
我们都知道你有多爱他
We all know how much you loved him.
是而且现在你就不用跟他分开了
Yeah. A-And now you never have to say goodbye.
或者跟他说“停下/留下” 狗狗们擅长做这个
Or "stay." That's kind of his thing.
是
Yeah.
天啊他真是好栩栩如生啊
Gosh, he's so lifelike.
你懂的我和Kyle把他留在了车里车窗是关死的
You know, Kyle and I left him in the car with the windows rolled up,
等我们回来的时候周围的人都特别愤怒
and when we got back, there was an angry crowd.
（保护动物的法律规定不可以单独留下动物憋在车里）
好吧……
Well...
我真是不敢相信你们做了这些
I can't believe you did this.
哦魁地奇（哈利波特里的运动但是我没懂是虾米梗）
Oh, Quidditch.
不用谢我的
You don't have to thank me.
你脸上的表情已经表明一切了
The look on your face says it all.
Mandy？嗯哼？
Mandy? Mm-hmm?
能留下谈谈吗？
May I have a word?
好的
Yes.
我要怎么摆脱这个畸形怪物？
How do I get rid of this monstrosity?
嗯？
Hmm?
为什么你要那么做？
Why would you want to do that?
那是我前妻的狗
That was my ex-wife's dog.
它吼我比她吼我还多
It growled at me more than she did.
每次我想摸摸它它都咬我
It bit me every time I tried to pet it.
而且它在每一样我拥有的东西上面拉屎拉了12年
And it crapped over everything I owned... for 12 years.
那你前妻怎么不带走他？
Why didn't your ex-wife take him?
她的律师比我的强
She had a better lawyer than I did.
我们不能让Kyle知道你恨这个甜心小狗
We can't let Kyle know that you hate this sweet, little dog.
我的意思是他一直很崇拜你的
I mean, he idolizes you.
他一直认为你是这么一个伟大热心博爱的人
He thinks you're this great, warmhearted, loving man.
好吧我不是
Well, I'm not.
我不能伤害Kyle的感情
I can't hurt Kyle's feelings.
他是我为数不多的Ins图片站的好友
He's one of the few friends I have on Instagram.
是啊
Yeah.
Ed 你确定你不能留下他吗？
Ed, are you sure you can't keep him?
他真的太可爱了
He's awfully cute.
他从来都不可爱
He was never cute.
现在他成了这么一个该死的野兽还有黄鼠狼的牙齿
Now he's this hell beast with weasel teeth.
好的美味晚餐…… Lifetime出品精彩电影……
All right, great dinner... exciting Lifetime movie...
……和甜点
...and dessert.
好哦你还撒了薄荷屑……我最喜欢的
Yeah. Ooh, you got mint
chip... my favorite.
看来你撒得挺不吝啬啊
It looks like you didn't
skimp on the sprinkles.
我知道你喜欢撒碎屑 - 是啊
I know you love sprinkles. - Yeah.
而且我倒的时候瓶盖子掉下来了
Plus the top of the jar fell off when I was pouring them in.
嗯
Mmm.
要不等下捏个脚吧
And after that, maybe a foot rub.
好吧怎么了？
Okay, what is going on?
先是晚餐然后甜食又是捏脚 - 没事啊
First dinner, then sugar, and a foot rub. - Nothing.
我猜要么你是想买♥♥辆新车或旧车
I'm guessing you either want to buy a new car
要么你就是出轨了
or an old car or you're having an affair.
难道一个丈夫就不能不需要原因给他美丽妻子
Can't a husband give his lovely wife just a fully deserved, relaxing evening
一个在家纯享受的放松的晚上
at home for no reason?
他能啊
He could.
但是他不会的
But he wouldn't.
别这样嘛
Come on.
嘿嗨 - 嗨
Hey. Hi. - Hi.
嘿 Kris
Hey, Kris.
所以呃我有个坏消息
So, uh, I have some bad news.
没有什么事情是绝对的坏消息
No such thing as bad news.
只不过是说消息的时机不好而已
There's just such a thing as bad timing.
走走走走
Go. Go. Go. Go.
怎么了亲爱的？
What is it, sweetie?
呃所以我我把这个被子带回去