喜当爷（2015）

Grandfathered S01E18

Part 4 Sept. 7, 2020, 11:39 a.m.

we're building together, it's thanks to you.
是你让我相信我可以
You make me feel like I can do
无所不能... 除了吃乳制品
anything in the world... except eat dairy.
而且... 我想让你也这么觉得
And... and I want to make you feel the same way.
我知道这和你梦想中的华丽办公室
Now, I know this isn't exactly the fancy office
不完全一样但是我答应你
that you dreamed of, but I promise you,
好吗? 我们不会...
all right? We won't...
演出开始了
Showtime.
是谁?
Who is it?
凯瑟琳
Uh, Catherine.
凯瑟琳!
Catherine!
嘿你来做什么?
Oh, hi. What are you doing here?
你为什么穿得像个新生在准备期末考?
What are you doing dressed like a freshman during finals?
- 我们有约会 - 是啊我们有约会?
- We have a date. - That's right. We have a date?
你让我先来你家
You made this whole big deal about
然后给我来这么一出?
me coming to your place first?
是啊我真是没法集中注意力
Yes, I'm such a scatterbrain.
我刚刚出去玩了
I was just hanging out, you know,
吃爆米花赶上我的行程
eating popcorn, catching up with my stories,
但是我要先洗很久的澡
but I'm gonna take a long shower.
我们等会出门
We're gonna take you out.
你喜欢吃热狗吗?
You like hot dogs?
你骗不了我的
Yeah, hard pass on that.
等等什么?
Wait, what?
感觉好像你在玩某种游戏
It just feels like you're playing some kind of game.
我不玩游戏我觉得没意思
I don't play games. They bore me,
而且我赢得太轻松了
and I win them too easily.
好好呆着吧
Take care.
是啊你不玩游戏
Oh, yeah, you don't play games.
谁会花两小时回复短♥信♥?
Who takes two hours to text somebody back?
当然是游戏玩家了
A game player.
你还偷走了我的爆米花
And you also stole my popcorn.
啊吉米谢谢你保我们出来
Hey Jimmy, thank you for bailing us out.
噢别客气大♥麻♥姐
Oh, no problem, Cheech.
你要搭我车回去还是
You want to ride in my car or you gonna take
- 坐着你的魔毯回去? - 你真是够了
- your magic carpet? - All right. Okay.
嘿你现在想去看那个乐队吗?
Hey, you want to go see that band now?
呐我我觉得看到我的室友排出一避孕套的冰♥毒♥
Nah, I'm good. I think I got enough entertainment
已经够好玩的了
watching my cellmate expel a condom of crystal meth.
拜托那太傻了
Oh, come on. It was just a little bit of stupid fun.
- 所以我们现在不能买♥♥枪了... - 萨拉
- So we can't buy a firearm now... - Sara,
我有的全是些无聊的乐趣
I'm all about stupid fun.
我曾经把我头发编成辫子还带上些小贝壳就是为了好玩
I once braided my hair with little seashells to be funny,
然后就那样保持了五年
and then kept it for five years.
但是我也不只是
But I'm not only
就有着些傻乐... 我是说每次我们在一起的时候
about stupid fun... I mean, every time we get together,
我们最后都会在车里嗑嗨要么就是啪啪啪
it turns into getting high in a car or having sex in a car.
你和萨拉一起做这些事啦?
With this Sara that happened?
不好意思打扰了你们两正有事要谈
Sorry, you guys are having a thing.
听着说到这个我很伤心萨拉... 我只是认为
Look, I'm sad to say this, Sara... I just think
我们所需的不同
that we want different things.
改天见今晚很开心
I'll see you around. It's been fun.
噢完蛋
Oh, crap.
- 你还好吧? - 还行
- You okay? - Yeah.
如果这样会让你觉得好受点的话
If it makes you feel any better,
我今晚也过得很糟糕
I, too, am having a terrible night.
你有因为抽大♥麻♥差点被甩吗?
Oh. Were you also almost cut for being a snitch?
更惨我最近和一个妹子约会
Worse. I started dating this girl,
基本来说她就是女版的我
and, basically, she's the female version of me.
那太惨了
That's terrible.
不这还并不是最糟的地方... 我觉得
No, that's not even the bad part... I think.
最惨的是我试图去掌控全局
The bad part is I- I was trying to get the upper hand,
而我却表现得像个傻子一样
and I acted like an idiot.
你是真的喜欢她嘛
Do you really like her
还是你只是因为像是输了一局之类的而不爽?
or are you just bummed that you lost some game?
因为如果这只是一场游戏的话
Because if it's the game thing,
就给你自己买♥♥点没什么卵用的贵东西
just buy yourself something expensive and unnecessary.
如果你是真喜欢她的话你应该告诉她
If you actually like her, you should tell her.
她也许并不知道这些
She probably doesn't know.
所以我还有可能占据优势
So I still may have the upper hand.
噢吉米...
Oh, Jimmy...
开玩笑啦好主意谢谢你
Kidding. Good advice. Thank you.
要我给你关于克雷格的建议吗?
Want my advice about Craig?
呃很高兴你这么说但还是别了
Aw, it's cute that you're trying. But no.
我不确定你为什么要叫我过来
I'm not sure why you asked me to come over.
如果是道歉的话也不应该是我大老远来找你
If it's an apology, it's weird that you made me drive to you.
的确是这样但是我准备了
That is true. But I made
一顿美味可口的晚饭
a tasting course dinner
- 来弥补我的这个小疏漏 - 挺好的
- to make up for the one that we missed. - That's right.
我们坐过牢我忘了
We were in jail. I forgot about that.
好吧现在看的时候不要太期待哦
Okay, now, keep your expectations in check.
我只有一小时的时间来凑齐所以这些东西
I only had an hour to put all of this together.
但是第一道菜我准备了
But for our first course, we have the tail end
晒干的西红柿的尾部
of a sun-dried tomato hummus
搭配也许几周前就干了的
paired with baby carrots
小胡萝卜
that may have peaked a couple of weeks ago.
你真的在给我最喜欢的剩菜取名字
You're literally naming my favorite leftovers.
好吧我们第二道菜
Okay. For our second course,
是这块干酪和法棍
this block of cheddar and a baguette
同时它也能拿来当武器用
that doubles as a weapon.
哇哦我是怎么预定到的?
Whoa. How did I get a reservation here?
毕竟你都要和厨师上♥床♥了
Well, it doesn't hurt that you're sleeping with the chef.
听着我还要喝一杯
look, I need another shot.
我只是想让一切变得有趣
I got into this thinking I was just gonna keep things fun,
但是那却让我们进了监狱
but that led to jail.
还有我们车震的时候我扭到了脖子
And I think I strained my neck from all that car sex.
我是不是做错了什么?
Did I do something wrong?
我觉得问题在于你没有做错
I think the problem was that you didn't.
我是说对我来说和一个满是缺点的人约会更轻松
I mean, for me, it's almost easier dating someone
比如一个冥顽不灵或偷盗成瘾的人
with a lot of flaws, like a bigot or a klepto
或者是个说相声的那样的话如果最后分手了
or a stand-up comedian, because if it ends,
我也不会在意
I don't have to care.
但是你很完美
But you're great,
然后这种感觉从未有过让我无所适从
and this felt real in a way that I wasn't used to.
我开始害怕了所以我就表现得像个混♥蛋♥
I got scared. So I acted like a dummy.
我可以成为一个惯偷如果那还有用的话
I can start being a klepto, if that helps.
或者...
Or...
这次让我们以你的方式开始吧
let's try this your way.
让我们更为亲密
Let's go deeper.
你想让我告诉你关于
Do you want me to tell you about
我去世的那个高中同学的事吗?
my classmate from high school who died?
我们可以边吃边聊吗?
Can you do it while we're eating?
好吧老实说她就是个小婊砸
Deal. To be honest, she was kind of a bitch.
嘿我们要重新开始吗?
Hey, are we giving this another try?
呃我的意思是我记得我们承诺过不再这样为了伊蒂
Uh, I mean, I thought we said we weren't, 'cause of Edie.
是我们的确说过
Yeah, we did say that.
但草他的伊蒂
But screw Edie.
我爱你
I love you.
我也爱你
I love you, too.
不准再说草我女儿
Don't ever say screw my daughter again.
知道了
Got it. Yeah.
我了个擦?
Seriously?
你们一家怎么都这么饥渴?!
What is it with your horny family?!
这个星期看到你们每一个人都是赤♥裸♥裸的
I've seen every one of you naked this week.
不好意思安丽诗!
Sorry, Annelise!
我的锅
My bad!
我搞砸了一切
So, I screwed up pretty badly.
没错你继续
Yes. Continue.
继续? 这难道不应该是你说
Continue? Isn't this the part where you say,
"你打招呼时我就原谅你了脱掉上衣"?
"You had me at 'hi.' And take your top off"?
- 不我还没原谅你 - 哇哦你很难攻克啊