喜当爷（2015）
Grandfathered
第一季
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喜当爷（2015）
Grandfathered S01E16
Part 2
Sept. 7, 2020, 11:38 a.m.
- 去骗售货员退掉裤子 - 不可以 不可以
- lying to people about her pants. I know. - No, no, no.
别担心 她没事儿的
Don't worry, she's okay.
我会抽时间去给你刷的
I will find a way to be there.
你真是笨的可爱啊
You are dope.
我是笨的可怜吧
It's true, I am dope.
干嘛?
Tss-tss. What?
你有没有想象过
You ever wonder what it looks like
儿子攻下一垒是什么样儿的?
when our son gets to first base?
就像那样的
A lot like that.
这对你而言肯定是个大事件呀
Oh, this must be huge for you.
就跟别的老爸看见儿子
This is the equivalent to other dads
从哈佛大学毕业了一样
seeing their kids graduate Harvard.
得把这一刻记录下来
Let's capture the moment.
好啦
Got it.
"标签 马提诺兄弟
"Hashtag Martino Brothers.
"标签 吉米家的浪漫二三事
"Hashtag sexy happens at Jimmy's.
"标签 要看《南加州烹饪》哦"
Hashtag check out SoCal Cuisine."
你不用把标签这两个字写出来的
You're not supposed to write out the whole word "Hashtag."
它就是个按键 不是星号♥ 是井号♥
It's the button, not the star one, the-the pound one.
井字游戏的那个井号♥ 我去 我们真是不服老不行了
The tic-tac-toe... Oh, dear God, we're old.
然后她说
So she said,
"你看起来像个年轻版的鲍尔温哥哥啊"
"You look like a young Baldwin brother."
然后我说"哪个鲍尔温?"
And I was like, "Which Baldwin?"
然后她说 只要不是"亚力克 丹尼或者比利 其他随便谁都行"
And she goes, "Anyone but Alec, Danny or Billy."
快跟他们讲高♥潮♥部分 快点
Tell 'em the good part. Tell 'em the good part.
额 我老爸说他很为我感到骄傲
Oh, uh, my dad said he was proud of me. .
不是这个 跟他们讲那个妹子的事
No, tell 'em about the part about the girl.
我们已经亲热过了
Oh, we made out.
我还真没想到啊
I did not see that coming.
我早就想到了
I'm not surprised.
还没讲完呢
That's not all.
哥当时也撩的可以啦好吧
I was vibing a nice little piece of tail, too.
我玩了个小游戏 然后这个妹子说
I'm spitting game, this girl goes, get this,
"你看起来就像性感版的甘地"
"You look like a hot Gandhi."
真的假的?!
What?!
这话听起来有点种族歧视
That sounds kind of racist.
啊? 这个梗你没听懂吧
What? No, you're not following the story.
总而言之 我和这个妹子
Anyway, it's getting pretty hot and heavy
现在聊得挺火热的
between me and homegirl.
我们一直在发信息 基本上把表情符都用了一遍了
We've been texting, probably used every emoji at least once.
我在分类广♥告♥网的失联版块也发了帖子
Yeah, I put up a Craigslist missed connection,
我的妹子应该马上就会和我联♥系♥了
so I'll be in touch with my girl soon, too.
你们看 我刚发了张♥杰♥拉德跟凯莉的照片
Here, look, I posted a picture of Gerald and Kelly right there.
萌不萌?
Aren't they cute?
就先这样吧 我还有一堆事儿呢
All right, enough of this. I got a lot to do.
还有不到二十四小时 爷就要上杂♥志♥封面当模特了
In less than 24 hours, I'm gonna be a magazine cover model.
我得先去做个全身保养
I've got to get on with my beauty regime.
安丽诗 这个是不是我订的那个
Annelise, is this the, uh, pore-reducing, non-GMO
非转基因收缩毛孔的酸奶面膜?
yogurt face mask I ordered?
是啊
Yes.
你不会真让我把一般的酸奶涂脸上吧
'Cause you wouldn't let me put
你会吗?
regular yogurt on my face, would you?
不会的
No.
那就好
Right.
你确定这是酸奶?
And you're sure this is yogurt?
- 确定 - 那好吧
- Yes. - Okay.
@WesDiesel23是谁?
Who's @WesDiesel23?
我有八十八个粉丝 不是个个都知道的好吧 怎么了?
I don't know all my 88 fans. Why?
他说他要胖揍杰拉德一顿
Because he said he was gonna beat up Gerald.
"你亲了我的妞
"You kiss my girl.
"最好跪下来求我原谅你
"Better get on your knees and beg for forgiveness,
不然我就要揍死你 小婊砸"?
or I'm-a kick your ass, bitch"?
这家伙怎么会有92个粉丝?
How's this guy have 92 followers?
太不公平了
That's not fair.
这家伙每张照片都是咆哮脸啊
Looks like he's screaming at someone in every single picture.
那姑娘有跟你说过她有男票吗?
Did she tell you she had a boyfriend?
说了啊 她说自己有个很缠人的前男友
Yeah, she said she had an obsessive ex
而且情况炒鸡复杂
and it was complicated,
然后我们就开始接吻了呀
but then her tongue was in my mouth,
我就啥都没问了
and I stopped asking questions.
- 我们该怎么办啊? - "我们"？
- What are we gonna do? - "We"?
是啊 你看
Yeah, I mean,
那男的很气你亲了他的妞
he's mad at you for kissing his girl,
而我就像个性感版甘地一样到处沾花惹草
but I'm flouncing around like I'm Hot Gandhi.
也难怪大家都这么说吧
No doubt word has spread,
这男的肯定很不高兴啊
and he's not peachy keen about that.
- 行吧 "性感版甘地" - 这家伙应该会不了了之的 对吧?
- Yeah, "Hot Gandhi." - Guy will probably go away, right?
都2016年了 谁还打架啊
It's 2016. Nobody fights anymore.
大家要么太胖 要么太郁闷
Everyone's too obese
打不起来的
or depressed to fight.
都靠打游戏解决问题了
They work out their issues on video games.
可能在你的世界里没人打架
Maybe nobody fights in your world,
但现实中确实有
but people still fight.
你就从来没
You don't ever open a bottle
在周五开瓶红酒
of wine on a Friday and watch
观看油管上最新的暴♥力♥街站吗?
the latest street fights on YouTube?
砍神金宝和橡胶男在码头对打?
Kimbo Slice versus the bandana guy at the marina?
没人看过? - 大家举手表决一下
- Nobody? - Show of hands.
你们觉得在这个文明现代的社会里
Do people in this modern civilized society of ours
人们还会用拳头打架吗?
still get into fist fights?
你们打过架吗?
Do any of you?
最近谁打过?
Recently?
你知道伐? 我能搞定这家伙的 懂吗?
You know what? I can take this guy, all right?
我已经不是以前操场上那个
I'm, I'm not still that little lonely boy
可怜的小男孩了
on the playground anymore.
是啊 你不是了
No, no, you're not.
你干嘛啊?
What are you doing?
我要在你招上麻烦前
I am saving your ass peacefully
以和平的方式帮你搞定
before it gets handed to you on a platter.
你真的没看过砍神金宝的视频?
You've seriously never seen Kimbo Slice?
没有
No.
你个衰人
Loser.
好吧 我有两小时时间
Okay, I have two hours,
然后我就得去写文案了
and then I have to get back to my paperwork.
还有那块儿污渍要搞定
Oh, and that stain.
我得喝点白葡萄酒了
I got to start drinking white wine.
太棒了 一堆破盒子
Oh, great. Dozens of boxes.
我就想着这个测验中能有个有氧运动就好了
I was hoping there'd be a hidden cardio challenge to this test.
我本来准备把它们搬走的 不过后来我没时间了
I was gonna move them, but I ran out of time.
因为我找了个新工作
'Cause I got a new job making sales calls
为洛杉矶爱乐乐团搞电♥话♥销♥售♥
for the L.A. Philharmonic.
其实这工作挺简单的
Huh. It's pretty easy.
一般来说我就是被挂挂电♥话♥
It's mostly just getting hung up on.
瓦娜萨
Vanessa, the arrow
我电脑上那个箭头又消失了
from the computer screen disappears again.
我跟你说了它不是消失了
I told you it didn't disappear.
你只要移♥动♥一下鼠标就可以了
You just got to move the mouse around.
你来才搞的定
It only come backs for you.
我去看看外婆的电脑
Ah, let me go fix Abuela's computer,
这样她才能非法看到古巴棒球比赛
so, uh, she can illegally watch a Cuban baseball game.
还有 别等我啦
Uh, don't wait for me.
好
Okay.
盖乌 萨利 牛排好吃不?
Kev, Sully, how's the skirt steak?
不错 金宝 一直都很好
Oh, it's good, Jimbo. Always good.
"金宝" 难怪你们这些警♥察♥喜欢我哈
"Jimbo." Cops love me.
我们都是同一种人
We're cut from the same cloth.
故土情节 蓝领
You know, old country, blue collar.
再跟我说说发生了什么?
So, tell me again what happened?
我卖♥♥了一个app 我爸说他特为我骄傲
I sold an app and my dad told me he was proud of me.
给你们一点提示 我的成长中一直缺乏
To give you some context, I grew up without
喜当爷（2015）
Grandfathered
剧集 | 喜当爷（2015） | 导航列表