喜当爷（2015）
Grandfathered
第一季
剧集 | 喜当爷（2015） | 导航列表
喜当爷（2015）
Grandfathered S01E17
Part 2
Sept. 7, 2020, 11:39 a.m.
我们就不应该把保姆炒了的
have to fire the babysitter after all.
她为什么要这么做啊? 那个项链是我的心头肉啊
Why would she do this? The necklace was a knock-off.
金姆不应该被炒的
Kim did not deserve to get fired.
那电视遥控器可不小啊
That TV remote was not small.
谁家孩子能下这么大决心把这些东西给拆成可以冲走的小块儿
What kid is so determined to flush something
然后再把它们冲了啊
that she breaks it into smaller, flushable pieces?
很明显我们家孩子就这么干了
Clearly she's acting out, right?
她是不是生我们的气了?
Do you think she's mad at us?
她反正不会生我气的 我经常给她买♥♥礼物
She can't be mad at me. I buy her presents all the time.
我们是不是变成那种
Have we become those parents
只为工作 不照顾孩子的家长了?
who mess up their kids 'cause all they do is work?
自从我们开始研究这个应用 我们几乎都见不到她了
Since we started this app, we barely see her.
- 你说的对 - 起码我们现在给厕所装了
- You're right. - Well, at least we got the child lock
婴儿锁了 对吧?
on the toilet for now, right?
恩 这时你就会怀念
Yeah, it really makes you appreciate
原来上厕所的自♥由♥时光了
the freedom to pee we once had.
我的包! 伊蒂 停下
My purse! Edie, stop.
你怎么撬开锁的? 我之前还得在水池尿尿
You got through the lock? I had to pee in the sink earlier.
我... 还差两个章就能拿到免费的绝对奶昔了
I... I was two stamps away from a free Mondo Smoothie.
我很抱歉 我们最近总是工作到很晚
I'm sorry we had to work so much lately.
明天我们会一直陪着你的
Look, tomorrow we're gonna spend so much frigging time with you
陪到你烦了为止
you're gonna be sick of us.
章好像还能看清诶
You can sort of make out the stamps.
用用试试吧
I'm just gonna try to use it.
给他们安排店里最好的位置
Get 'em the best table in the house.
请别大惊小怪
Um, please don't make this into a whole thing,
但如果你还愿意的话 你可以和我一起参加聚会
but if you still want, you can come to the party with me.
- 也是醉了 - 就算你走我也会继续的哈!
- Ok. - I'll do it even if you walk away, too!
我还为这种情况也写了个卡片呢 看见没?
Even made a card for that one. See?
什么嘛?
What?
这是订婚派对吗? 那个家伙还穿着短裤来的
This is an engagement party? That guy's wearing shorts.
瞧瞧这些人吧
Look at all these people.
是到这里来秀他们不幸福的婚姻来的
Showing off their unhappy marriages.
- 我去找点儿喝的 - 好 给我拿杯古典鸡尾酒
- I'm gonna grab us drinks. - Yeah, get me an Old Fashioned.
黑麦面包 不要水果 好吗?
Rye, no fruit, huh?
给你拿啤酒吧
You're getting a beer.
- 谢谢 - 嗯哼
- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.
看见了吗?
Are you seeing this?
还有狗在这儿晃来晃去
There are just dogs walking around.
这是几个意思啊?
What is that?
我的这种周到的细节动作
One of my subtly brilliant moves
一下子就把我和你那些平庸约会对象区分开了
that separates me from your typical date.
你看 和我一起 你不仅有一个美男可以挽手
You see, with me, you get more than just a handsome prop
还能全方位地体验有男友的感觉
on your arm, you get the full boyfriend experience.
- 好吧 我现在真是百感交集 悔不当初... - 嗯 嗯
- Okay, I'm feeling a lot of emotions-- regret... - Mm-hmm.
就是这意思
That's about it.
呃 那可能只是因为神经紧张吧 来
Eh, it's probably just nerves. Come on,
我们去吸引大家的关注 嗨 嬉皮士
let's go turn some heads. Hi, hippie.
- 潮人啊 - 潮人
- Hipsters. - Hipsters.
真可爱
That's cute.
我们是我朋友巴拉克和米歇尔介绍来的
We were introduced by our friends Barack and Michelle.
就是奥巴马夫妇啦
The Obamas.
你说啥? 在这儿就要这样?
What's that? Right here at the party?
抱歉 我们得去下洗手间
Excuse us. We have to go to the bathroom.
好 去吧
Yeah. Of course.
怎么了? 怎么了?
What? What?
你在搞什么鬼?
What the hell?
你不能谎话张嘴就来信口开河啊
You can't make up a bunch of lies.
这些人都认识我的
These people know me.
我只需要你在我旁边站着
All I wanted you to do was stand next to me
让别人看到我不是一个人来的就好 知道了吗?
so people wouldn't think I came here alone. You got it?
好吧 你的意思是
All right, that said, we don't want to break
我们没法打破现状了 那我们假装
the reality of the scene, so pretend
在洗手间啪啪过了 把你的头发搞乱一点
we had sex in the bathroom. Mess your hair up.
- 看起来很像 - 算了 我不要用你了
- Look satisfied. - Forget it. You're fired.
纳尼? 那我现在应该干什么
What? What am I supposed to do now?
我不管
I don't care.
去尤克里里琴那边玩吧
Go join the ukulele circle.
哪个啊?
Which one?
现在 宝贝儿 你听好了 如果你要上厕所
All right, baby, listen, if you got to use the toilet, you got
- 你要叫爸爸妈妈 好吗? 因为钥匙在我们这里 - 哦 不
- to ask Mommy and Daddy, okay? Cause we have the key. - Oh, no.
- 没错 - 嗯哼
- Yeah. - Uh-huh.
如果你想把东西扔到
And if you're thinking of throwing things down
另一个马桶里的话 你要记住
a different toilet, just remember:
那里面有很多的怪物哟
they're filled with monsters
- 他们专吃小女孩儿 - 那才不是真的
that eat little girls. That's not true.
- 哇 - 是的 所以如果你想嘘嘘 告诉我们
- Wow. - Yes. So if you have to take a tinkle, let us know.
- 说晚安把 小猩猩 - 晚安 大猩猩
- Say good night, Gorilla. - Good night, Gorilla.
真乖 你想听什么故事 宝贝儿?
Good girl. What story do you want to hear, baby?
- 什么故事? - 我马上就回来参加睡前故事时间
- What story? - I'll be right back for story time.
我要去个洗手间
I got to go to the bathroom.
还是去外边吧
I'll just go outside.
你看 这样很不错啊 这就是生活
You see, this is good. This-this is life.
大家聚在一起谈天说地 不论肤色
Just all of us hanging out. It doesn't matter what color
我们这里有-- 黑人 白人
we are-- black, white,
白 白 白
white, white, white.
喂!
Psst!
咆哮哥? 咆哮姐?
Growler? Growler?
咆哮爷? 好 有三个咆哮帝呢
Growler? Okay. Three growlers.
喂 到底什么是咆哮帝啊? 大家都一直说这个词儿
Hey, what's a growler? Everyone keeps using that word.
我需要个男朋友
I want the boyfriend experience.
哦 我可不确定有没有准备好
Oh. Well, I'm not sure I'm ready
充当一下你的男朋友呢
to give you the boyfriend experience.
- 哦 那算了 - 好吧 我去
- Oh, fine. - Okay, I'll give,
我可以 我可以
I'll give, I'll give.
那好 你看见那边那个
Okay. You see that guy
戴着帽子的人了吧? - 哪儿?
over there in the beanie? - Where?
别看了 好吗 两年前
Don't look. Okay, a couple of years ago,
我们约会过 还有过疯狂的
we went on a date, and it turned into this crazy,
- 激♥情♥周末 - 呃
- passionate weekend. - Ugh.
他才华横溢 风流倜傥 信心十足
He was artistic and free-spirited, confident,
我们都计划了接下来那个周的行程呢
and we even made plans to go out the following weekend.
然后我就傻♥逼♥了 又开始幻想
And then I did that stupid thing where you start to think,
"噢 这个人貌似蛮适合嫁的"
"Oh, this could be something real."
而且那是我那么长时间以来第一次有这么认真的感情
And it would have been the first real thing that I'd had
并且我们爱爱方面也非常和谐
in a long time. Plus, we were extremely compatible sexually.
你可是个祖母诶
You are a grandmother.
接下来那个周根本就没发生
The next weekend never happened.
他就凭空消失了
He just disappeared.
那个混♥蛋♥
And the jerk didn't
连个短♥信♥都没给我发
even text me.
然后他现在还领着一个漂亮妞出现在我面前
And now he's here with a pretty girl,
我却自己一个人
and I'm alone.
好啦 跟我来
All right. Come on.
咱去让那个小丑追悔莫及去 好不?
Let's go make this clown regret ever letting you go, huh?
- 好的 - 允许我装马提诺了吧?
- Okay. - Do I have permission to go full Martino?
- 好的 好的 - 好啦 来吧
- Okay. Okay. - All right. Come on.
澳洲和西班牙口音 哪个更性感?
What's sexier, do you think, Australian or Spanish accent?
- 哪个也不 求你了 - 要不我两个都来?
- Neither, please. - Why don't I go for both?
那么 为了解决这个问题
So, to solve the problem,
我们把所有厕所都锁上了
we have locked down the toilet
全家都装了保姆摄像头
and installed nanny cams everywhere.
卧室 办公室 浴室
The bedroom, office, bathroom.
是的 这就是你在瓦娜萨用的浴室里
Yeah, that's why you put a camera
装摄像头的原因
in the bathroom Vanessa uses.
是吧 真是个变♥态♥
I know. What a perv,
哼 伊蒂不在她床上 跑哪去了?
Huh. Edie's not in her bed. Where is she?
不会吧!
You got to be kidding me.
她怎么拿到我们的东西的?
How did she get all of our stuff?
瓦娜萨跑哪鬼混去了啊?
Where the hell is Vanessa?
喜当爷（2015）
Grandfathered
剧集 | 喜当爷（2015） | 导航列表