喜当爷（2015）

Grandfathered S01E10

Part 2 Sept. 7, 2020, 11:37 a.m.

啊残忍♥的世界
Cruel, cruel world.
为什么这个歪了?
Why is this crooked?
我嘞个...?
What the...?
- 吉米有个保险箱? - 你觉得里面有什么?
- Jimmy's got a safe? - What do you think's in it?
可能是性♥爱♥录像
Maybe it's a sex tape.
不是那些放在那边
No, he keeps those right there.
哦谢谢啊
Oh, good to know.
可能是个手稿
Maybe it's a manuscript about
讲述一战士兵发现自己的队长
a World War One soldier who discovers
是女人伪装的故事
that his sergeant is actually a beautiful woman in disguise.
- 他写的吗? - 不是
- Did he write that? - No.
- 这你写的吗? - 是的
- Did you write that? - Yes.
我还希望你说故事不错呢
I was hoping you'd say it sounds good.
这听起来像是盗版的花木兰
It sounds like a rip-off of Mulan.
我一定要知道里面有什么
I've got to know what's in there.
我一定能猜出密♥码♥
I can figure out the password.
我住在吉米脑子里住了十年了
I've spent the last ten years inside Jimmy's brain.
首先试一下他的生日
First, let's try his birthday.
不对那试一下他真的生日
Okay, now let's try his real birthday.
等等我知道是什么了
Hold on. I know what it is.
不对
No.
哈
Huh.
还有什么代表啪啪啪的数字?
What are some other sexy numbers?
噢我应该要点什么?
Oh. What should I get?
波洛餐厅所有菜品都超好吃
Everything is so good at The Polo House.
噢我想点龙虾意面
Ooh. I think I'll get the lobster linguini.
哦我想知道春季新菜谱是不是新鲜出炉了?
Oh, I wonder if the new spring menu's out?
我迫不及待想要波洛先生的签名
I can't wait to get the autograph of Mr. Polo.
波洛先生不是某个人
Mr. Polo's not a person.
- 他是个创意 - 喔
- He's an idea. - Oh.
- 等等我们这是去哪? - 抄近路
Wait. Where are we going? It's a shortcut.
不对不对不对我清楚每一条去波洛餐厅的捷径
No, no, no. I know every shortcut to The Polo House,
这条不是
and this is not one of them.
我们不去保罗家吉米
We're not going to The Polo House, Jimmy.
我那么说只是为了让你上车
I just said that to get you in the car.
我要带你去凡奈斯看医生
I'm driving you to Van Nuys to see our doctor.
看医生?
A doctor?
去山里?!
In the Valley?!
麦尔威医生很棒
Dr. Melvoy is great.
- 不信你上大众点评看看 - 大众点评? 什么鬼...?
- Look him up on Yelp. - Yelp? What...?
他是医生还是煎饼摊?
Is he a doctor or a taco stand?
听着我怎样都无所谓
Okay, look, I could've gone either way on this,
可杰拉德在单亲家庭成长了25年
but Gerald went without a father for 25 years,
现在你的出现让他非常开心
and he is now very excited to have you around.
而你年事已高
But you are crazy old.
所以我们得去确保你的身体
So let's just go make sure you're as healthy
跟你想象的一样健康为了他好
as you think you are, for his sake.
老天你们太烦了
Oh, God, you guys are so annoying.
而且春季菜单已经出来了!
And the spring menu is out!
噢我知道医生说你没事
Oh, I know the doctor says you'll be fine.
只是做个常规耳部手术
Just a routine ear surgery.
除非手术太普通了
Unless it's too routine.
然后酿成大错
That's when all the mistakes happen.
噢老天他们会把表落在你的小脑袋里
Oh, God, they're gonna leave a watch in my baby's head.
- 我可爱你的小脑袋了 - 搞什么鬼?
- I love this head. - What is this?
- 什么什么? - 小马马!
- What's what? - Horsey!
杰拉德
Gerald.
我在在哄宝宝
I'm-I'm just comforting our baby.
杰拉德
Gerald,
我知道你被手术的事吓坏了
I know you're freaking out about the surgery,
但是我们应该保持乐观
but we got to keep things positive.
我们不能让我们的负能量影响伊蒂
We can't bring Edie down with our crappy energy.
你真觉得她能感受到?
You really think she can tell?
这里唯一的风险就是我们会把她变得
The only real risk here is that we turn her
紧张敏感神经质
into a nervous wreck.
宝宝们都很聪明杰拉德
Babies are smart, Gerald.
他们就像小大人一样
They're like little people.
他们可精着呢
They can pick up on stuff.
我们得让这件事显得好玩又快乐
We got to keep things fun and happy.
- 没错你说的对 - 对
- Yeah, you're right. - Yeah.
也许我们应该先把她头上的毯子拿开
Maybe we should start by taking the blanket off her head.
噢对好主意
Oh, yeah, good idea.
抓到啦!
Peekaboo!
嗨!
Hi!
嗨我是麦尔威医生
Hi. I'm Dr. Melvoy.
你好啊医生我是吉米马提诺
What's up, doc? I'm Jimmy Martino.
听着我身体好着呢
Listen, I've never needed
从不需要看医生我来这儿只是被
a doctor in my life, and the only reason why I'm here
家人念叨的
is for my annoying family.
而且这袍子后面漏风
And this dress is getting a little breezy out back,
如果你懂我的意思呃...
if you know what I mean, so, uh...
让我们快点完事
let's make this fast.
噢太好了这会是我生日中美好的一小时
Oh, great. This is gonna be a nice hour of my birthday.
很棒对吧? 继续使点劲
Pretty good, right? Go ahead, punch me.
不对你知道吗医生你有帮我
Nope. You know, doc, this whole time,
检查耳朵的时间还不如检查检查
you've been looking in my ear when you really should be
你自己的
looking in your ear.
嘣
Bam.
不是吧?
Seriously?
- 快点使劲打我 - 不
- Come on, punch me. - No.
- 快点来霍迪尼那套嘣 - 不要
Come on, like Houdini-- boom. Nope.
好了吉米我需要你的尿液样本
All right, Jimmy, I need a urine sample.
你得装满这个小罐子
I need you to fill this bottle.
在这?
From here?
才怪妄想
Yeah, in your dreams.
好痒啊医生
That tickles, doc.
你不会把手指伸进...你懂得
You're not gonna stick your finger... you know.
讲真的别把你得手指伸进...啊...
Seriously, do not stick your finger... Ah...
啊
Ah.
啊!
Ah!
好吧也不是那么糟
You know, it's actually not that bad.
虽然这20分钟非常煎熬
Well, that was an extremely unpleasant 20 minutes.
但我得说你非常健康
But I must say, you are in terrific health.
我一直跟大家这么说
That's what I keep telling everybody.
只有一件事我在你胳膊上发现了一个可疑的痣
There is one thing. I found a suspicious mole on your arm.
我得做个活检进行检查
I'd like to take a biopsy to check it out.
应该没事
It's probably nothing,
不过小心驶得万年船
but it is better to be safe than sorry.
到底会有什么不妥?
Sorry about what, exactly?
- 可能是皮肤癌 - 不会吧?
It could be skin cancer. Really?
只有不到2%的几率
There's less than a two percent chance
会出现皮肤癌不过我需要取样
that it's anything at all, but I want to take a sample,
送检明天会打电♥话♥告诉你结果
send it off, then I'll call you tomorrow and let you know.
没有我才不担心
No, I'm not worried.
我长这么大连感冒都没得过
I've gone my whole life without getting a cold.
我才不会因为胳膊上有2%可能性
I'm not gonna stress out over some splotch on my arm
病变的小痣而过度紧张
that has a two percent chance of being dangerous.
你知道谁有2%的可能性得奥斯卡奖?
You know who has a two percent chance of winning an Oscar?
巨石强森你也没见他出来买♥♥礼服呀
The Rock. You don't see him out shopping for a tuxedo.
我还会有事吗医生?
Am I right, doc?
老天我真讨厌和你说话
God, I hate our dynamic.
彼此彼此来吧
Back at ya. Go ahead.
怎么样?
How'd it go?
我跟你说什么来着?
What'd I tell you?
健康状况完美
Perfect physical specimen.
怎么可能...
How the...
嗯! 太好吃啦嗯嗯嗯
Mmm! So good. Mmm, mmm, mmm.
看到没? 我们要做的
See? All we had to do
就是让她今天超开心
was give her a crazy fun day
假装没有手术的事情
and pretend the surgery doesn't exist.