绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S07E20

Part 2 Oct. 23, 2019, 8:11 p.m.

因为我很同情他
'cause I feel bad for him.
他的两任妻子都以自杀收场
The poor guy has had two wives kill themselves.
所以我的同情心都集中在他死去的妻子身上
And here I was concentrating all my pity on the dead people.
苏珊你可要小心了
Susan, be careful.
没错我们知道你的肾是贝丝给的
Yeah, we understand Beth gave you a kidney,
但你并不欠保罗什么
But you don't owe Paul anything.
这我知道
I know I don't.
只是这个肾让我得以重生
But that kidney gave me a second chance in life,
请原谅我这么说
And I'm sorry.
我们应该给保罗改过自新的机会
I feel that Paul deserves the same thing.
为了咱俩为了咱们的装♥修♥公♥司♥
To us, our decorating firm,
更为了咱们的新胜利
and our latest triumph,
即德兰尼家浴室的装饰而干杯
The Delaney bathroom.
今天装了地铁牌瓷砖和节水马桶
Today, Subway Tile and a low-flow toilet.
明天先别让德兰尼先生
Tomorrow, not walking in on Mr. Delaney
用这新马桶
on the low-flow toilet.
这是在杂货店买♥♥的没错吧
You bought this at a drugstore, didn't you?
丹佩尼翁这名字多可爱[仿唐佩尼翁]
Come on. "Dan Perrignon." It's cute.
教你个常识下次挑选香槟
A little tip-- when picking champagne,
记得玩文字游戏的都是山寨货
wordplay usually isn't a selling point.
今天这么早就回来了啊
Hey. You're home early.
还没下班回来拿些文档
No, just forgot some files.
之后马上赶回去
Head straight back to the office.
你们在喝丹佩尼翁要庆祝什么
Ooh! Dan perrignon! What are you guys celebrating?
我和雷尼今天完成了一项设计
Renee and I finished a design job today.
没错我们今天赚了293块
Yeah. We actually cleared $293.
当然算上这瓶酒就只赚了290块
Well, $290 after this champagne.
咱们还只是个小公♥司♥嘛
Hey, we're a small company.
你怎么一口没喝啊
Why is the glass always half empty with you?
对了我应该早点想到的
Hey, I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner.
我刚拿到一笔预算
I just got my budget.
可以从里面抽出一部分重新装♥修♥办公室
There's some money in there to redecorate my office.
你们公♥司♥能搞定这事吗
How about you guys do it?
这个我们正忙着
Uh, well, we're a little busy.
两万块的预算
It's 20 grand.
忙着感谢你
Busy thanking you.
你让我们承包你真伟大
You'd let us do that? You're amazing!
这笔钱对我们来说可不是小数目
That would be huge for our company.
我的新工作让我们最近有点疏远了
Look, I know this new job's put a bit of a strain on us.
这个办法倒是能多出点时间
This might be a good way to sneak in
见到对方
a little extra time together.
你们能接下这2万块的工程吗
So you think you can do something for 20 grand?
虽说这样的场合并不正式
This may be the dog shampoo talking,
但为了2万块
but for 20 grand,
我宣布我们会好好装♥修♥你的办公室
we will decorate your office...
再替你教训教训员工
and whack an employee of your choosing.
室友你好啊
Hey, roomie!
你好室友
Hello... roomie.
花很漂亮
Those are beautiful.
是我女儿送你的
They're for you from the girls.
打碎了你的镜子她们特内疚
They felt terrible about breaking your mirror.
你是想说打碎的盘子吧
Oh. You mean my serving dish.
看来你还没上楼啊
Oh, you haven't been upstairs yet.
加布
Gaby!
你看这花多漂亮啊
But look how beautiful.
我去趟教堂
I'm going to church.
不是刚才去过了吗
Weren't you just there?
我去祈祷祈祷因为显然之前的不管用
I need to do some more praying. Apparently, it's not working.
在找车主吗我就是
If you're looking for the owner, that's me.
你知不知道你挡着我的车道了
Are you aware that you're blocking my driveway?
知道那你知不知道
Yeah. Are you aware
你私自坐在我的车里是违法的
that you illegally entered my vehicle?
我是为了引起你的注意
Well, I needed to get your attention.
但你还是违法了
Doesn't make it legal.
别想嫁罪于我
Oh, don't try to make this my fault.
你挡着我的车道也是违法的
Blocking my driveway is illegal.
没错但是私闯民车可是犯罪行为
Yes, but breaking into my car is criminal.
是吗现在报♥警♥
Really? Let's call 9-1-1.
看看警♥察♥怎么说
I'd love to get a policeman's opinion on that.
警♥察♥来了
You just did.
老天你就是警♥察♥
Oh, my. You are a policeman.
查克·万斯刑♥警♥ 紫藤郡警局的
Detective Chuck Vance, fairview P.D.
菲丽莎蒂尔曼还在假释中
Your neighbor Mrs. Tillman's a parolee.
我例行公事查看一下不过现在看来
I was paying a routine call. But now it appears
这条街上危险的女人可不止她一个
that she's not the only dangerous woman on the street.
我我不知道自己犯了什么法不过
Look, I-I don't know what laws I may have broken, but--
非法入侵胡乱摆弄警车
Unlawful trespass, tampering with a police vehicle,
恶意损害他人财产
malicious mischief...
好吧好吧抱歉我今天太累了
Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'm just so frazzled today.
一个朋友住到我家来
A friend of mine is staying with me,
她两个女儿就像破坏分子
and her two girls are absolute monsters.
弄得我都想借用一下你的枪了
In fact, I don't suppose I could borrow your gun?
你还要枪毙未成年人
To shoot the children?
我是开玩笑的
I was joking.
我也是开玩笑的
So was I.
抱歉挡了你的路
I'm sorry I blocked your car.
这个那个
Uh, well, um...
我也抱歉闯进你的车
I-I'm sorry that, um, I got into yours.
这个我会跟法官说的
I'll tell that to the judge.
肯定只让你在社区劳役
I'm sure you'll get off with community service.
等等
Wait.
你说什么
What?
这也是玩笑
Still joking.
-我要抓到你给我过来 -不要啊
- I'm gonna get you! You come back here! - No! No! No!
加布
Gaby?
哦对别跑了小家伙
Oh. Right. Girls! No running!
你就这么喊一句
Is that all you're gonna do?
当然不是下次我会绊倒她们其中一个
Of course not. Next time I'll trip one of them.
你也可以采取严厉些的手段
Or perhaps you could try taking a firmer hand.
得了吧我什么没试过
Oh, please. I've tried everything.
我还送给她们一只狗
I even bought them a puppy
说她们要是不听话就杀了它
just so I could threaten to kill it.
结果她们要看我杀狗的过程
They asked if they could watch.
我是受不了了
Well, I can't take it anymore.
我跟她们讲讲道理行吗
Would you mind if I talked to them?
说不定外人的批评
Perhaps hearing it from somebody else
她们听得进去
would make the difference.
你什么意思布里
What are you saying, Bree?
你这个妈妈比我更称职吗
You think you're a better mother than me?
我不会用绊倒来弄伤她们
Well, not to cast aspersions on tripping
也不会杀宠物
and killing puppies,
我有别的办法
But there are other approaches.
那好吧优秀妈妈[同修道院院长]
Okay, mother superior.
你觉得自己能管得住她们俩
You think you can get those girls to behave?
请便吧
Be my guest.
对了要是妹妹告状不用理会
Oh, and if the little one charges, move.
她告的状都是些类似在帝国大厦上
It's like someone dropping a sack of flour
往下撒面粉的不值一提的事
off the Empire State Building.
孩子们听我说
Girls, I need to talk to you.
等会儿我们在玩死斗
Not now. We're playing death match.
在我家不许打架
We do not fight in this house
更不能把手工染的绸缎枕头当武器
with pillows made of hand-dyed silk.
我数三声一
Now I am gonna count to three. One...
二
Two...
你们知道我数到三之后要干什么吗
Do you know what happens after three?
再数四
Four?
给我把枕头放下
Put the pillows down.
相信你们都听过这样一句话
Now, I am sure you've heard the expression,
"我的家我做主"
"My house, my rules."
没听过
No.