绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S07E05

Part 2 Oct. 23, 2019, 8:09 p.m.

for the legal team of grind'em,
-强悍的法律团队 -那是冰茶
- screw'em, and Rothenberg. - That was iced tea.
我只是搞笑一下
Well, I just made it fun.
今晚我想请你们吃晚餐
Now I wanna have you all over for dinner tonight.
我有两箱香槟
I've got two more cases of champagne,
满满一卡车的鱼子酱还有一堆钱
a truckload of caviar, and a pile of money
多得足够在里面光着身子打滚你们能来吗
to roll around naked in. What do you say?
真有那么多的话我一定得去见识见识
If there's more of this, I am definitely there.
好极了你呢布里
Great. How about you, Bree?
真希望我能去但我有约了
Oh, I wish I could, but I have a date.
我需要吃含糖食品
I need to carbo-load.
我也去不了我们还没找着保姆
I've gotta pass, too. We still haven't found a nanny,
所以一旦汤姆加班我就得
and so Tom's working late, so I have to go--
苏珊
Yawn. Susan.
我很乐意去不过今晚得在家里吃通心粉
I would, but it's macaroni and coupon clipping night
剪优♥惠♥券
at my house.
真遗憾看来只有咱俩了
Yawn and sad. Well, I guess it's just you and me.
加布和雷尼
Gaby and Renee.
超级组合
That is great.
我们正说到你们俩的共同之处
We were just talking about how much you two have in common.
我们有共同点吗加布
Weren't we, Gabs?
谢谢你的孩子真可爱
Thanks so much. Your baby's really cute.
很高兴认识你有消息会通知你的
It was nice meeting you. We'll let you know.
谢谢
Thanks.
怎么样保姆找得怎么样了
Well? Any luck finding a nanny?
没有进展我已经面试了8个女孩
No. I've interviewed eight girls.
她们不是太没经验
They're all either too inexperienced
要么就是价格太高了
or too expensive.
那个大胸妹妹怎么样呢
Hmm. What about the one with the boobs?
这就是为什么我们不能请她
And that's why we're not hiring her.
别这么早就放弃
Well, don't give up yet,
因为我手里还有一张牌
Because I found us one more applicant.
是吗你居然这么主动
You did? You took the initiative?
干嘛这么惊讶
Why so surprised?
去年圣诞节的彩灯还亮着呢
Our christmas lights are still up from last year.
她不仅守时还提前来了
And not only is she punctual, she's early.
-是谁啊 -这么说吧
- Who is it? - Um, let me put it this way.
勒奈特记得你以前多讨厌山药吗
Lynette, remember how you always used to hate yams?
可后来你试着尝试了第二次
but then you gave them a second chance
觉得它们还不错后来
And they weren't so bad. And over time,
你还说我喜欢吃山药山药真棒
You realized, "I like yams. Yams are great."
但有时候人就像山药
Well, sometimes, lynette, people are like yams.
你要干什么
What'd you do?
你疯了吗
Are you insane?
我昨晚和她聊过
I was talking to her last night.
我提到我们缺人手她就说要来
I-I mentioned we might need help, and she volunteered.
你来搞定
You get it.
汤姆
Tommy!
妈
Mom!
她怎么就不能变成个山药
Why couldn't she have been a yam?
好那这个蒂娜
Okay, so this Tina--
这是他第一次出轨吗
Was that the first time he cheated on you?
不知道你总能听到花边新闻
Uh, I don't know. You hear stories.
在全明星赛季流言更是铺天盖地
There was this thing during the all-star game--
报纸上全是道格和女招待的照片
Pictures of Doug in the tabloids with a cocktail waitress.
但他带回来一副宝格丽牌手镯
But then he came back with a Bulgari bracelet,
我们就再没提过这事
So we never talked about it.
天呐嫁给一个有职业运动员
God, being married to a pro athlete--
一定很恐怖
It must be a nightmare.
听上去你已经对他释怀了
Well, sounds like you are well rid of him.
我觉得你很懂我加布
You know, I feel like you get me, Gaby.
知道为什么吗因为
And you know why? Because...
我们都倾国倾城
We're both extremely beautiful.
上帝保佑你真有勇气说这话
God bless you for having the courage to say that.
只有像我们这般容貌的人
Only someone who looks like us
才能理解我们身上的重负
Can understand what a burden it can be.
事实上这负担很棒
Actually, it's pretty awesome.
有时我故意超速驾车
Oh, you know, sometimes I drive fast on purpose
就为试试能否用自己的魅力免除一张罚单
Just to see if I can flirt my way out of a ticket.
就像一种技能
Amateur hour.
我只是弯腰去捡一支笔
I got a bank manager to shave a point off our mortgage
就让一个银行经理为我们的房♥贷减掉一个百分点
By bending over to pick up a pencil.
直到今天卡洛斯还戏称这是我的百万臀
To this day, Carlos calls it my million-dollar ass.
等等我更强
Wait. I can top that.
昨天这对宝贝为我挣了8百万
Yesterday these babies earned me a cool $8 million.
什么意思
What do you mean?
我穿了条性感裙装去我的资产清算听证会
Well, I wore a lut dress to my settlement hearing,
然后道格的律师来到我下榻的宾馆
And afterwards, doug's lawyer came to my hotel
和我再度磋商
to renegotiate.
你和她睡了吗你太坏了
You slept with him? You're awful.
我知道
I know.
我不该告诉你这些的
I shouldn't have told you that.
别说出去
Keep it to yourself.
亲爱的我守口如瓶
Oh, honey, I won't tell anyone.
我可不很了解你
Um... I don't know you well enough.
你也得爆点你的猛料
You've gotta give me some dirt on you.
我想不起任何事
I can't think of anything.
真的吗什么都没有吗
Really? Nothing?
比如说整形手术呢
Like, say... plastic surgery?
什么
What?
亲爱的我身上可没动过刀
Honey, a scalpel has never touched this body.
可能身上是没有
Maybe not the body...
可那个鼻子明显出自布朗斯基的
But that nose is a dr. Brotski.
我可到处都看到过
I'd know his work anywhere.
你真敢说你侮辱我
How dare you. I am insulted.
好吧那年我19岁只是垫了一小块而已
Okay, fine. I was 19. It was just a little bump.
一般人都这么辩解
That's what they all say.
你是不是也有鼻中隔弯曲
Did you have a deviated septum, too?
别告诉别人卡洛斯知道
Don't tell anyone. Carlos knows,
但如果其她人知道了她们可就没完没了了
But if the girls find out, I'd never hear the end of it.
当然你可以信任我
Of course. You can trust me.
美人儿不撒谎的
I'm beautiful.
那倒是真的
That's true.
早安
Good morning.
早安亲爱的
Good morning, sweetheart. Mwah.
还是不想跟你讲话
Still not speaking to you.
你们的早餐马上就准备好
Your breakfast will be ready in a minute.
你要咖啡这就来
You want coffee. I'll get it.
你的炒蛋已经准备好了
Your scrambled eggs are ready.
妈我还指望能吃上你做的法国吐司呢
Oh, mom, I was hoping for your french toast.
汤姆她给你做了炒蛋你就吃掉
She made you eggs, tom. Eat them.
不没关系你先读报纸
No, it's no problem. You read your paper,
我去弄吐司罗德尼
And I'll fix it right up, Rodney.
妈是汤姆
Uh, Tommy, mom.
我不是这么叫的吗
Oh, didn't I say that?
你跟你♥爸♥长得太像了
Oh, it's just that you look so much like your father.
天又怎么了
Oh, gosh, what now?
我去吧
Oh, let me get her.
我来就是照看孩子的
It's what I'm here for.
看看
Would you look at that?
我妈真是游刃有余
My mother is on top of it,
你坐下来陪你昨晚睡着时踢了三脚的
And you get to sit and have coffee with the man
男人喝杯咖啡
That you kicked three times "In your sleep" Last night.
我只能小小地容忍♥你妈
Look, I can take your mother in small doses,
可她要是天天住在这里
But her living here every day--
我不知道你对她有什么意见
You know, I never got what this thing is
你说你爱她
You have with her. I mean, you say you love her.
她和孩子们相处融洽你还有什么好抱怨的
She's great with the kids. What's your beef?
好吧你真想知道原因吗
Okay, you really wanna know what it is?
-当然 -好吧我受不了他把你惯成的样子
- Yeah. - Okay. I can't stand the person she turns you into.
她穿着围裙服侍你的时候