绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S07E05

Part 4 Oct. 23, 2019, 8:09 p.m.

Well, that'll teach me
让你在我后面上楼
to let you walk behind me up the stairs.
那是什么
What is that?
灵感又来了
I guess inspiration struck again.
别告诉我你是来引诱我
Please tell me you're here to stab me.
什么
What?
没什么进来
Nothing. Come on in.
那是什么
What's that?
生菜色拉
Crudites.
不是应该把它们去皮切片的吗
Aren't they supposed to be sliced and peeled?
我太累了
I'm too tired.
把那拿走
Please get that away from me.
昨晚肯定有人和金斯在一起缠绵了
I guess someone was with Keith last night.
一次两次还是三次
Were you once, twice, three times not a lady?
这一点也不可笑我们连续六个小时都在做
It's not funny. Six hours we had sex.
我就像是荷兰隧♥道♥
I feel like the Holland Tunnel.
亲爱的你为什么不告诉他
Honey, why don't you just tell him
-你需要休息 -因为他是年轻人
- you need a little break? - Because he's young.
如果我拒绝交欢他会觉得我是个老女人
If I turn down a roll in the hay, he's gonna think I'm an old woman.
你用了交欢这个词我想时机已过岁月不饶人了
You just said "Roll in the hay." I think that ship has sailed.
我最好还是想想怎么能让他能够慢点
Ohh! Well, I better figure out how to slow him down
免得约翰韦恩[特别的走路姿势]就要怀孕了
before this John Wayne walk becomes permanent. Coming!
-进来吧 -女孩们
- Come on in. - Hey, girls.
你来得真及时
You are just in time.
为了庆祝你的离婚我刚做好了一杯有意义的饮料
I mixed up a signature drink in honor of your divorce.
我不会喝的
I wouldn't pour that just yet.
我正在重新考虑这件事情
I'm starting to rethink this whole divorce thing.
道格昨晚来了
Doug showed up last night.
他从纽约飞来的
He flew in from New York?
我知道他说他跟蒂娜分手了
I know. He said it's over with Tina.
希望我回去
He wants me back.
他给我了这个
And he gave me this.
道格做了很多坏事
Oh, Doug screws up a lot,
但是他的道歉就像美国国♥庆♥节那么让人心花怒放
but his apologies are always the 4th of July.
哇汤姆的道歉更像是美国植树节令人乏味
Wow. Tom's apologies are more like Arbor Day.
但是他背叛了你
But he cheated on you.
好吧一个男人在每个城市
Okay. A guy who has women throwing themselves at him
都有女人并随时抛弃
in every city.
而其间我们有着十年快乐的时光
Meanwhile, we had ten great years,
他爱我关心我我想我应该
And he loved me and cared for me and I think I should
再给他一次机会
give him another chance.
我是不是疯了
Am I crazy?
你在婚姻生活里投入了十年
Well, you have invested ten years in the marriage.
肯定会有磕磕碰碰的
No one goes that long without a few bumps in the road.
那好我原谅他了
Okay, then. I'm doing it.
你疯了吗
Are you insane?
这男人为了别的女人抛弃了你
The man dumped you for another woman.
他道歉了我难道不能原谅他吗
Well, he apologized. Can't I forgive him?
为什么就因为他给了你一枚蠢戒指吗
Why? Because he gave you a stupid ring?
他又一次收买♥♥了你醒醒吧
He's buying you off again. Open your eyes.
嗨不管怎么样这是我的婚姻
Hey. It's my marriage anyway.
你只管看好你的假鼻子就得了
Why don't you just keep your fake nose out of it?
她什么意思假鼻子
What does she mean, fake?
加布丽尔·索利斯你整鼻子了吗
Gabrielle Solis, did you have a nose job?
我们可是正在谈这个贱巫婆（求校）
Hello! We're talking about Trampy Mctrinket!
这么多年以来
After all these years of you
你一直在吹嘘你的自然美
bragging about your natural beauty?
我从没吹嘘
Oh, I never brag.
有一次你称你的脸为上帝之作
You once called your face proo God's existence.
因为我穿过一件塑胸泳衣你就称我为骗子
You said I was a fraud for wearing a padded swimsuit.
现在我们发现你整形了
And now we find out you've had plastic surgery.
一切都变了
Ooh! That changes everything.
没变这可不是整形手术
No, it doesn't. It wasn't plastic surgery.
这只是娇正鼻形手术
It was corrective rhinoplasty for a deviated...
你会为此而后悔的
You will regret this.
得了加布我们在开玩笑呢
Oh, Gaby, come on! We're kidding!
别把你的鼻子气歪了
Don't get your nose out of joint.
布里·范德坎普有了麻烦
Bree Van de Kamp had a problem.
她男友的性♥欲♥看来是把她折腾得精疲力尽
Her boyfriend's sexual appetite was proving to be exhausting.
突然布里想出了个法子
And then out of the blue, Bree came up with a solution.
既然金斯的需求她承受不起
Since Keith's demands were overwhelming her,
何不自己也弄些他受不起的需求
why not make some overwhelming demands of her own?
哇哦这么多活要干啊
Wow. There's a lot of work here.
估计我得干到周五才能搞定
I guess I could get it done by friday.
不行我在那之前就得要
Oh, no, I'm gonna need it sooner than that.
必须今晚完工
Certainly by tonight.
艾丽森做了你最爱吃的饼干
Hey, Allison made you
给你带着路上吃
your favorite cookies for your trip.
蛋白杏仁饼干吗
Macaroons?!
提子燕麦饼干
Oatmeal raisin.
这是我老爸的最爱
Oh. Those were my dad's favorites.
或许你可以跟飞机上坐你旁边的人换着吃
Maybe you can trade them with the boy next to you on the plane for his snack.
你又说笑了不过你得承认
Make fun, but you have to admit,
她带孩子真有一套
she's been great with the baby.
她一直很棒你说得对是我错了
She has been great. You were right. I was wrong.
要是这是蛋白杏仁饼干的话
Oh, if only these were macaroons.
今天将是我人生中最美好的一天
this would be the best day of my life.
飞机着陆后打电♥话♥给我
Call me when you land.
再见宝贝
See you, babe.
要我帮忙做千层面吗
Ah. So can I help with the lasagna?
事实上我的宝贝孙子们想吃烘肉卷
Actually, the boys said they wanted meatloaf,
于是我就改了下菜单坐吧
so I switched the menu. Now sit.
好啊
All right.
汤姆跟我说你要回去工作
So Tom was telling me about you going back to work.
我得说我真搞不懂你
I must say, I don't understand that.
那个
Well, that's...
还好啦
Okay.
你干嘛呢
What are you doing?
我牛奶喝完了
I'm out of milk.
你奶奶不是来这儿伺候你的
Well, your grandmother is not here to serve you.
亲爱的我不介意的
I don't mind, dear.
看见没她愿意
See? She wants to.
-苏打水呢奶奶 -我也要
- Soda, gram? - Make it two.
臭小子们
Boys!
佩妮我得去弄肉你去拿苏打水
Penny, I have to get the meat, so you get the sodas.
凭什么
Uh... why?
凭什么我们得照顾这些男子汉啊
Why? We have to take care of our men.
佩妮坐下
Penny, sit.
你们想喝水就自己起来去倒
You boys want a drink, get up and get it.
他们今天已经够辛苦的了
They had such a long day,
上了一堆课还要参加课外活动
classes and then their after-school sports.
艾莉森在我们家女人不服侍男人
Allison, in this house, the women don't wait on the men.
男人得自己动手照顾自己
The men get off their asses and help themselves.
什么时候开始照顾家人也有错了
When did it become a sin to take care of your family?
你这现代妇女你刚生完孩子
Oh, you modern women. You just plop out a baby,
就等不及要回去干♥你♥那份愚蠢的工作了吗
and then you can't wait to get back to your silly careers.
我照顾我家的男人们
I took care of my boys.
当我丈夫回家后
When my husband came home,
桌上总会有热腾腾的饭菜等着他
there was a hot meal waiting for him on the table.
他从来不缺什么
He never wanted for anything.
是啊那结果如何呢
Yeah, and how did that work out for you?
他有了外遇然后离开了你
He had an affair and left.
该死
Damn it.
我都没意识到你还在这儿
I didn't realize you were still here.
你一直在干活吗
Have you been working this whole time?
你说要今天搞定
You said to get it all done today.
要是没什么别的事的话
So if there is nothing else,
我想回家好好大睡一场
I would like to go home and slip into a coma.
为何不在这儿过夜呢
Why don't you spend the night here?
我真不忍♥心看你这么疲惫得
I'd hate to see you out there driving
驱车回家