绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S07E02

Part 2 Oct. 23, 2019, 8:09 p.m.

哦等一下
Oh, uh, hang on a second.
我正专心做第一场表演呢
Ah, I was just wrapping up my first session.
我知道我正看着呢
I know. I was watching.
怎样
And?
你觉得怎么样
What'd you think?
简直像看一场梦
It was like watching a dream.
知道为什么吗因为我睡着了
And you know why? 'cause I was asleep.
坐下亲爱的
Sit down, honey.
我该指点你一下了
It's time I gave you a few pointers.
现在看到我在做什么了吗
Now... you see what I'm doing here?
咱们可别把掸子给忘了
And let's not forget the duster.
好了好了我明白了
Okay. Okay, I-I get it.
这里还有什么污点
And what have we here? Smudges.
我们用那桌子吃饭呢
Uh, we eat off that table.
我说得够明白了吧
Am I making my point?
我们销♥售♥的是一场美梦
We are selling a fantasy here.
你得完全放松
You gotta, you know, loosen up.
我也想啊只是
I want to. I just...
我总是忍♥不住想到那些男人
I can't stop thinking about all those men out there
正看着我
watching me.
是的他们正看着你
Yes, they're watching you.
他们把辛苦挣来的美元花在这里
They are spending their hard-earned dollars
是为了看性感尤物
to see the perfect woman.
你我的宝贝
You, my darling,
有着无限的魔力
have all the power here.
现在
Now...
好像那块地毯上有个面包屑哦
is that a crumb I see on that rug?
对就这样
That's it.
这才是我的好姑娘
That's my girl.
道格如果你的律师不把财产分割协议做得像样一点
Doug, if your lawyers don't sweeten the settlement offer,
我就起诉要求一半财产了
I will sue you for half of everything,
你女朋友体内新植入的东西也包括在内
And that includes your girlfriend's new implants.
你是用我们的联名帐户付的帐
You paid for 'em out of our joint account,
所以理论上说其中一个咪♥咪♥也属于我
so technically, one of those puppies is mine.
我可不知道我会怎样
Oh, I don't know.
也许会把它扔在池子里当救生圈用
Maybe throw it in the pool and use it as a floatie.
雷尼
Uh, Renee.
她很快也要和男生约会了
Oh, she's gonna be dating soon enough.
她该了解了解男人是什么东西了
It's time she learned what men are all about.
现在甜心
Now, sweetie,
关于婚姻雷尼阿姨教给了你什么
what did Auntie Renee teach you about marriage?
千万别签婚前协议
Never sign a prenup.
不错啊
Oh! Jeez!
-下班回到家感觉怎样 -我感觉不太舒服
- How are you doing home from work? - I'm not feeling well.
-又不舒服了 -是啊
- Again? - Yeah.
这星期都第三次了
That's the third time this week.
你得去看看医生
You need to go to the doctor.
不我没事
No, I'm fine.
我就是想躺在沙发上看看电视
I'm just gonna lie on the couch and watch some TV.
好
Okay.
在你打开高尔夫频道之前
Before you fire up the golf channel,
能顺便去趟杂货店吗
you think maybe you'd make a quick run to grocery store?
我很累你去不了吗
I'm tired. Can't you do it?
我现在有点儿忙
I'm a little busy right now.
我有五个孩子还有个百无一用的客人
I've got five kids and a useless houseguest.
在这呢
Hi there.
你得发挥一下作用
I need you functional.
要不就去看医生有病就治
Either go to the doctor and get some help
要不就别再唧唧歪歪给我♥干♥点活
or quit complaining and give me some help.
好我明天去看医生
Fine. I'll go tomorrow.
天哪有点同情心好不好
Man, the sympathy in here is just overwhelming.
怎么啦
What?
没什么与我无关
Nothing. It's none of my business.
不过
But...
你可能得小心点
You may wanna be careful.
你们两个开始有点像我和道格了
You two are starting to sound a lot like me and Doug.
谢谢关心不过汤姆和我经常这样
I appreciate the concern, but Tom and I always do that.
以前道格和我也是那样
Doug and I always did that, too.
可看看我们现在
Look at us now.
我跟你说我们关系很好的
I'm telling you, we're fine.
你在说那就是吧
If you say so.
全中
Good.
医生说她没事
The doctors say she's gonna be fine.
他们只是把她留院观察
They're only keeping her in the hospital as a precaution.
很快就可以出院了
She'll be home in a few days.
感谢上帝
Oh, thank god.
他来了抬头不见低头见
Well, look, he's here.
别来煞风景了行吗
Can we please not have another ugly scene?
我只是问问胡安妮塔的情况
I only came to check on Juanita.
她很好
She's fine.
太好了
Fantastic.
你把我们的番茄植株移走了
So I see you let our tomato plants whither...
和处理我俩关系的手段如出一辙
just like you did our relationship.
那是因为你的西红柿一副讨厌相
that's what happens when you grow needy, whiny tomatoes.
好了两位别吵了
Boys, boys, it's been a month.
你们彼此亲下屁♥股♥ 和好如初吧
Can't you just kiss each other's bottoms and make up?
同志的一贯作法是吧
Isn't that what they do?
那是谁
Who is that?
她好像迷路了
She looks lost.
要去帮她一把吗
Should we help her?
啊见鬼
Aah! Son of a bitch!
我们得去帮帮她
We should help her.
见鬼
Son of a...
哦哦
Oh! Oh!
小姐你还好吗
Miss, is everything okay?
不好
No.
完全找不到北了
I am so lost.
我把地址告诉的士司机
I gave the cab driver the address,
但我身上只带了20块钱
but I only had a $20, and it turns out
只够坐到木槿环岛
that only gets you as far as Hibiscus Circle,
所以他把我扔到那里
so he dumped me,
然后我就踩着这双破鞋一路步行
and I had to walk in these shoes, which broke,
以后再也不在网上买♥♥鞋了
and that is the last time I am buying footwear over the internet.
你是要到紫藤郡吗
Uh, were you looking for Wisteria Lane?
对就是那里
Yeah, that sounds right.
我的金鱼还是活蹦乱跳的吗
Is my fish moving?
如果它死了我今天就背到极点了
If he goes belly-up, this is going to be the worst day ever.
你来这里找谁
Who is it you're here to see?
保罗·杨.
Uh, Paul Young.
是吗你是他朋友
Really? Are you a friend of his?
其实
W-well...
贝丝
Beth!
我以为你几小时前就到了
Oh! I thought you were gonna be here hours ago.
想必刚刚大家都见过我妻子了
Well... I see you've all met my wife.
抱歉这里实在是太热了
Sorry, it got... really hot in here,
我以为你会晚一点回来
and I thought you'd be gone for a while.
胡安妮塔情况怎样她还好吗
So how is Juanita? Is she okay?
恩好多了
Um, she's doing much better.
谢谢关心
Thank you for asking.
感谢上帝你呢
Thank God. How are you doing?
我我挺好
Um, me? I'm okay.
工程进展如何
How's the work coming?
很顺利
Pretty good.
我正准备
Just getting ready to put, uh...
穿反了
Shoot. It's on backwards.
布里
Bree?
你真的没事吗
You sure you're okay?
我很好
I'm fine. Fine.
只是今天实在是波澜起伏
It's just been a very... stressful day.
我了解你需要什么
I think I know what you need.