好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S12E12
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:10 p.m.
a cheap, middle-aged, lactose-intolerant bullet.
一颗又挫又老 患有乳糖不耐的子弹
What is going on?
这么晚会是谁啊
I have no idea.
我也不知道
Surprise!
惊喜
It's inspection time!
视察时间到
Look at these sharp corners on this table.
这桌角尖得能戳死人
No gate on the stairs.
楼梯上没门怎么行
I see a lot of problems here.
这房♥子问题太多了
A lot of problems.
一大堆问题
A lot of problems.
超级多问题
Believe me, I see the same problem.
相信我 我跟你想到一块儿去了
And I would like to help you get rid of your problem,
我非常乐意帮你解决你的"问题"
even if that means dumping the problem's body in the ocean.
哪怕是把这个"问题"的尸体丢进海里
If you think it's hard getting me out of here alive,
如果你觉得把我活着赶出去太难了
try getting rid of my ghost.
那你可以试试把我的鬼魂赶走
Okay, obviously this is not about the adoption.
显然这跟领养没关系
This is about us.
全是因为咱俩的私事
Now, why don't we just sit down and talk?
我们干嘛不坐下来谈谈
Look at this.
看啊
A weapon in the form of a toy?
伪装成玩具的武器
Is it loaded?
它上膛了吗
Yes, it is!
上膛了
You have to be careful.
你最好小心点
You might hurt someone you thought you cared about
你可能会伤到一个你曾经在乎
but were horribly deceived by.
但却狠狠被欺骗你的人
Okay, listen, I understand that you are very upset.
听着 我知道你心情很糟
And I agree
我也同意
that we should take this out on Alan.
我们把气全都撒到艾伦身上
Your railings on the deck are too low,
这个阳台栏杆太低
there's no safety glass on the fireplace
壁炉也没有安全玻璃
and you have alcohol
你们居然把酒放在
within a child's reach.
小朋友够得到的地方
We can, we can fix this.
这个问题可以解决
See? All gone.
瞧 酒没了
What kind of wine is that?
那是什么破酒
Oh, uh, uh, it's instant.
那是冲泡酒粉
It comes in a packet. Just add water.
袋装的 冲水即饮
Uh, it's-it's like astronaut wine.
类似宇航员喝的酒
And you're upset that this guy broke up with you?
跟这种人分手居然会让你生气
The only thing I'm upset about
我生气是因为今晚在这里
is the litany of violations I found here tonight.
发现了诸多不规范的问题
You have 48 hours to address these issues.
你有48小时可以解决这些问题
Keep in mind:
记住
I can stop by anytime I see fit.
我会随时过来检查
Anytime.
随时
Okay, say what you will,
想说什么就说吧
but that exit was cool.
不过她的退场真心炫酷
Okay, you think she's angry now?
你现在觉得她生气了吗
What do you think is gonna happen
你说万一她发现了
when she finds out about you and Lyndsey?
你和林赛的事会怎么样
Oh, oh, don't worry, I'll apologize to Ms. McMartin,
别担心 我会向麦克马丁小姐道歉
and then tomorrow, when I'm having lunch with Lyndsey,
明天我和林赛吃午饭时
I'll tell her we have to lay low
我会叫她最近保持低调
until the adoption goes through.
等风头过去再说
No. I don't want you going
不 你不许
anywhere near Ms. McMartin.
靠近麦克马丁小姐
But I think I can help... No!
我可以帮忙... 不用
You've already done enough damage.
你帮的倒忙已经够多了
And I'm warning you, you stay away.
我警告你别再插手了
I am a billionaire
爷可是亿万富翁
and I can buy my way out of at least one murder.
杀一个人我还是能花钱摆平的
This is still America.
地球照样转
So, what looks good?
想吃什么
And don't say my boobs.
别说是我的咪♥咪♥
Why would I say "my boobs"
我为什么要说"我的咪♥咪♥"
when it's your boobs that I like?
我明明对你的咪♥咪♥垂涎三尺
Have you thought about us?
你考虑过我俩的事吗
Yes.
考虑了
I want to give it a try.
我想试试看
Oh, you do?!
你答应啦
Oh, that is so great. I know!
太棒了 我就知道
The rest of our life together starts right now.
从现在开始我们将共度余生
Yes!
好的
Or in three weeks, when I can see you again.
或是三周后 我们再见面的时候
What?
什么
Oh, well, Walden is worried about the adoption.
沃顿担心领养的事
He doesn't want there to be any complications.
他不想节外生枝
So he thinks I'll screw it up?
他觉得我会搞砸吗
No, he thinks I'll screw it up.
不 他是怕我搞砸
Oh, sure.
懂了
So I just think it's better if we lay low
所以我觉得我俩在开庭之前
until after the court date.
最好保持低调
I understand.
我理解
Is that why we drove an hour away from the ocean
所以你才从海边开了一小时的车
to go to a seafood restaurant?
载我来这里吃海鲜
Ah, that and...
还有个原因
no corkage fee.
这里不收开瓶费
A Pinot.
皮诺葡萄酒哦
Oh! Oh, you don't mind if I drink, do you?
啊 你不介意我喝酒吧
I can honestly say I've never been less tempted.
坦白讲我从来没有这么倒胃口
Good legs...
酒脚挂杯[美♥腿♥]
mmm, full body...
酒体丰满[丰满的身体]
goes down easy.
入口顺滑[易推倒]
They should call this "The Lyndsey Special."
这个才应该叫"林赛特调"
Cute.
你真可爱
You know, I-I certainly wouldn't want to do anything
我绝对不想做任何会妨碍到
to jeopardize the adoption.
你们收养的事情
And taking it slow is probably better for us, too.
放慢节奏对我们来说或许也是件好事
Oh! Lyndsey plus Alan equals "us."
林赛加艾伦等于"我们"
Hello, Alan.
你好啊 艾伦
Good God!
我滴个老天爷啊
What-what are you doing here?
你怎么会在这里
And-and how do you keep making these dramatic entrances?
你怎么每次出场都自带吓人特效呀
Who is this?
这位是...
Oh. Uh, th-this is-is Lyndsey.
这个嘛 是林赛
Uh, Lyndsey, this is Ms. McMartin,
林赛 这是麦克马丁小姐
our social worker.
我们的社工
Uh, remember, I told you about her and the adoption?
还记得我跟你说过她和领养那事吗
Um, uh, Lyndsey is my cousin,
林赛是我表妹
um, from Cedar Rapids, Iowa.
从爱荷华州的锡达拉皮兹市来
What?
什么
So you make out with your cousin?
你在跟你的表妹亲热吗
I said she was from Iowa.
我说了她来自爱荷华州[允许近亲结婚]
Is this why you broke up with me?
所以你要我分手
For her?
就为了她吗
Hold on.
等等
You're dating your social worker?
你跟你的社工搞在一起
He was.
搞过
Till he dumped me last night.
昨晚他刚甩了我
Was it just last night?
昨晚才甩的吗
You said you were single.
你之前说你是单身
Did I say I was single?
我说过我单身吗
Yeah. Right after we had sex.
对 就在我俩上♥床♥之后
Did we have sex?
我们上过床吗
You had sex with her?
你还和她上♥床♥了
Did I have sex with her?
我和她上♥床♥了吗
You jackass!
你这个混球
Chicks.
女人嘛
Crazy in the head, crazy in the bed, am I right?
脑里狂疯癫 床中骚浪贱 对不对
Oh, Lyndsey... Lyndsey, wait!
林赛 林赛 等等
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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