好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S12E05
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:09 p.m.
Oh, my God.
天啊
Now I feel awful about all the times I said,
现在我觉得好内疚哦 我经常问
were you dropped on your head as a baby?
你小时候脑袋是不是摔坏了
My point is that Jake turned out fine.
我想说的是 杰克也健康长大了
I mean, sure, he had to repeat seventh grade math a couple of times,
虽然他重修了好几次七年级的数学
but he was born at the right time. You know?
但他生在好时候呀 你懂吧
Computers.
万事有电脑
Wait, so what you're saying is
所以你想说的是
even if I screw up a little, it's not the end of the world?
就算我搞砸了一点半点 世界依然美好吗
The fact that you're worried about being a good dad
你担心是否能成为好爸爸这点
is what's gonna make you a great one.
反而能让你成为一个出色的爸爸
Thanks.
谢谢
You're a good friend.
你是一个好朋友
All right.
好啦
I'm gonna go get some sleep.
我要去睡觉了
Good night. Good night.
晚安 晚安
Oh, Baby Jake.
可怜的小杰克
It'll be nice having a kid around here again.
家里又有个孩子挺好
Running up and down the stairs.
会在楼梯跑上跑下
Laughing at all the silliest things.
会因为超级傻♥逼♥的事情乐个不停
And they'll believe almost anything you tell them.
他们还会相信你说的任何事情
No kidding.
那倒是真的
Jake still thinks one of the first men on the moon was Buzz Lightyear.
杰克现在还认为首批踏上月球的人有巴斯光年呢
I'll get it!
我来开门
You got to admit that would've been way cooler with a slide.
你必须承认 如果这个有个滑梯会酷很多
Look who's here. Hi, guys.
瞧瞧谁来了 你们好呀
This is Louis.
这位是路易斯
Hi, Louis! Sweet Lou!
你好 路易斯 亲爱的小路
Lou!
小路
We're not booing, we're Lou-ing.
我们不是嘘你 我们是捧你哦
Louis, this is Walden and Alan.
路易斯 他们是沃顿和艾伦
Hi.
你们好
You're gonna be staying with them for the weekend.
你要待在这里跟他们过周末
Oh, uh, don't worry, buddy,
别担心 小家伙
I was only supposed to stay here for a weekend, too.
我本来也说只在这里待一个周末
12 years later.
现在都过去12年了
Oh, and, uh, this is Berta.
这位是波塔
she helps take care of us around here.
她是帮忙照顾我们的人
Look at that face.
瞧瞧这张小脸
Walden, you might have some competition
沃顿 这个家最帅男人的称号♥
for the best looking man in the house.
要出现竞争对手喽
You mean so-some more competition?
你是说出现第二位竞争对手吗
Nope.
不是
Do you have any Cheez-Its?
这里有芝士饼干吗
Uh, well, if we don't, we could get some.
如果没有 我们可以去买♥♥点
Okay, I'll stay.
好吧 我留下
All right, well, I want you guys to get to know each other,
好的 我希望你们能了解彼此
so I'm gonna go.
所以我先走啦
But you have my number if you need anything.
你们有我的电♥话♥ 有事就打给我
Oh, uh, wait.
等等
Uh, does-does he come with an instruction manual or something?
他有没有使用说明书之类的东西
You'll be fine. Bye, Louis.
你会没事的 再见啦 路易斯
Uh, okay, uh...
好吧
should we have tipped her?
我们应该给她小费吗
You're asking me?
你问我♥干♥嘛
I don't even tip the pizza guy.
我连送披萨的都不给
I don't like pizza.
我不喜欢披萨
I like Cheez-Its.
我喜欢芝士饼干
Oh, well, you know, when you think about it,
知道吗 当然你对比这两者时
a pizza is just a really big Cheez-It
其实披萨就是一块很大的芝士饼干
with sauce.
只不过多了番茄酱
We're gonna get Cheez-Its, right?
我们会有芝士饼干吃 是吗
Berta?
波塔
I'm on it.
马上去买♥♥
I'll be back as soon as I can.
我会尽快回来
And, Louis?
路易斯
That's the first time I ever said that and meant it.
这是我生平第一次说到做到哦
Hey, Louis? Welcome to our house.
路易斯 欢迎来到我们家
Do you want to come on in?
你想进来玩吗
Oh, my God. Look at him.
天啊 瞧瞧他
He's adorable.
他好可爱哦
I know, I know. He's like one of those TV kids.
我知道 他就像电视上的小孩
Maybe we can put him in commercials.
或许我们可以送他去拍广♥告♥
We know he likes Cheez-Its.
反正他喜欢芝士饼干啊
Alan, do you really want to be making less money than a six-year-old?
艾伦 你真的希望自己挣得比一个6岁的小孩少吗
Who is that?
那是谁呀
This is Timothy.
这是蒂莫西
He's a seal.
他是一只海豹
Oh! Well, hi, Timothy.
你好呀 蒂莫西
I'm Walden.
我是沃顿
And I'm Alan.
我是艾伦
Timothy doesn't talk.
蒂莫西不会说话
Oh, right, yeah.
对哦
Because he's a seal.
因为他是一只海豹
No, because he's a toy.
不 因为他是一个玩偶
Right. He-He's a toy.
对 他是一个玩偶
Got a lot of weekend left.
这周末好难熬呀
So, which one of you is the mommy?
你们哪一个是妈妈
Well, that's-that's a great question.
那真是一个好问题
And one I was hoping you wouldn't ask in the first five minutes.
一个我不想你进门五分钟就问的问题
You know, see, in some families,
你也知道 有些家庭
there's a mommy and a daddy.
有爸爸和妈妈
But in other families, like this one,
但在其他家庭 像我们这个
there's, there's two daddies.
只有两位爸爸
Why?
为什么
Wow, that is another great question.
这又是一个"好"问题
Um... Alan?
艾伦
No, no. You're doing great.
不 你回答得很好
Okay.
好吧
He's the mommy.
他是妈妈
I told you, Timothy.
早说了吧 蒂莫西
Hey, Louis, check it out.
路易斯 快看
Casa de Louis.
路易斯府邸
Chez Louie.
路易餐厅
San Louis... Obispo.
圣·路易斯·奥匹斯堡
Basically what I'm saying is this is your room.
其实我就是说 这是你的房♥间
Cool!
酷
You know, I thought we could decorate it together.
我想我们可以一直布置这房♥间
Lucky. He never let me.
真幸运 他从不让我弄
Oh, and check this out.
快看这个
This is your bed.
这是你的床
But if you're thinking about jumping up and down on it,
但如果你想在床上蹦蹦跳跳
you're gonna be in a lot of trouble...
你会有大♥麻♥烦哦
if you don't!
不蹦才有大♥麻♥烦
Uh, we also heard, uh, that you like to draw.
我们还听说你喜欢画画
So check out this fully stocked art table.
快看这张堆满绘画工具的桌子
You got, uh, markers, crayons, paints.
这里有记号♥笔 蜡笔和颜料
Someone's gonna put the arty back in party.
帮我们画一场派对出来吧
Okay, so, uh, why don't we, uh, unpack your stuff?
好了 不如我们帮行李箱打开
We'll put it in the dresser, and then we'll go do something.
把东西放进衣橱 然后做点其他事情
No, I don't need to unpack.
不 我不需要打开行李箱
Oh, okay.
好的
Uh, well, then it's straight to the good times, huh?
那我们直接进入快乐时光
For King Louie the Fun-teenth.
带"路易大帝"好好乐一乐
I apologize.
抱歉
So, yeah, what do you want to do?
那你想要做什么
You know, we could play a game,
我们可以来玩游戏
we could go to the park, we could go to the zoo,
可以去公园 可以去动物园
we could go to SeaWorld or Disneyland
可以去海洋世界或者迪士尼
or Legoland, or we could play Legos in the house,
可以去乐高乐园 也可以在家里玩乐高玩具
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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