好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S12E08
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:09 p.m.
We just got to finish this bike. We can do this.
我们只需组装好这辆脚踏车 我们能做到
You're right. We got an M.I.T. Engineer and a...
你说得对 我是麻省理工的工程师
formerly board-certified chiropractor.
你是曾经具备医师资格认证的脊椎治疗师
Yeah, now we're talking.
瞧 这才像话嘛
I mean, this can't be more difficult than realigning someone's spine.
这不可能比帮别人矫正脊椎还难
Here. You know, you got, uh...
给 你只需...
you got your, uh, your L2, uh, connected to your L3.
把L2部分跟L3部分组装起来
And all we have to do is
我们只需
put the right pressure on the right spot and...
在正确的地方用正确的力度 然后...
Uh, and that is why I am
这就是为什么我"曾经"是
a formerly board-certified chiropractor.
一位具备医师资格认证的脊椎治疗师
Oh, Santa.
圣诞老人
Oh, Santa!
圣诞老人
Oh, no.
天啊
Here comes Santa Claus!
圣诞老人"来"了
Here comes Santa Claus!
圣诞老人"来"了
Oh, my God.
我的亲娘啊
What happened?
发生什么事了
I saw Mommy banging Santa Claus.
我看见我妈在跟圣诞老人打炮
What? It's 1972 all over again.
什么 1972年的恶梦又重演了
We have a problem.
我们有麻烦了
Yes, you have a problem.
是的 你有麻烦了
You are the Christmas whore!
你就是圣诞节淫♥妇♥
Be that as it may, I think I killed Santa Claus.
话虽如此 圣诞老人好像爽"死"了
Oh, God!
我的亲娘啊
It's exactly like 1972!
简直跟1972年一模一样
Is he gonna be okay?
他会没事吗
Yeah, It was just atrial fibrillation.
没事的 只是心房♥颤动而已
He just needs some medication and a few days rest.
他吃点药休息几天就好了
You hear that, sweetheart? I'll be fine by New Year's.
听见了吗 亲爱的 到新年我又生龙活虎了
I'll be counting down till the balls drop.
在新年球[蛋蛋]落下前我会等你的
Well, thank God Louis didn't see any of this.
幸好路易斯没看见这一幕
He would've been traumatized.
不然会给他留下多大的阴影啊
Louis? What about me?
你还说路易斯 那我呢
The man almost died while he was having sex with me.
这人跟我打炮时差点就死了
That's not easy to get over.
这种事你没法轻易忘怀啊
No matter how many times it happens.
不管之前经历过多少次
Okay, well, all right, well, there you have it.
好了好了 你成功了
Merry Christmas, Louis.
圣诞快乐 路易斯
Your grandmother banged Santa within an inch of his life.
你奶奶差点把圣诞老人搞死了
Here's half a bike!
这是给你的半成品脚踏车
W-We can salvage this.
我们还可以补救
There's still enough time to-to finish the bike,
还有时间完成这辆脚踏车
wrap the other gifts and get them under the tree.
再把其他礼物包起来放树下
Okay, you're right.
你说得对
Louis will be asleep for six more hours.
路易斯至少还要睡六小时
Walden?
沃尔顿
Oh, come on!
不是吧
I heard a noise. Did Santa come?
我听到有声音 是圣诞老人来了吗
Sadly, no.
很可惜 他没有"来"
Where's Evelyn?
伊芙琳去哪里了
Oh, well, uh...
那个嘛
she went to her house to play with...
她回自己家 玩她的
her toys.
"玩具"了
All right, time for bed, bud.
好 该睡觉了
That's right. Santa's on his way.
是的 圣诞老人在路上呢
If Santa is real,
如果圣诞老人真的存在
then how does he get in all the kids' houses in one night?
他怎么能在一夜之间走遍所有孩子的家呢
Well, he's got Christmas magic.
他身怀圣诞魔法嘛
And how does he know where everybody lives?
那他怎么知道每个人都住哪里呢
Well... that's the magic of Google Maps.
那就得靠谷歌♥地图的魔法了
All right.
好吧
Good night, buddy. Time to go to sleep.
晚安 小家伙 好好睡觉吧
Can you guys stay with me till I fall asleep?
你们能等我睡着再走吗
Sure. Yeah.
好吧 没问题
It's not like we need to help Santa assemble toys.
反正我们也不需要帮圣诞老人组装礼物
He pays his elves $75 to do that.
他付了75块让精灵们干这活了
That's Timothy's spot.
那是蒂莫西的位置
Oh, oh, okay.
好吧
I guess, uh...
那我就...
Good boy.
狗狗乖
Alan?
艾伦
Oh, oh, my God!
我的妈呀
Oh, don't flatter yourself.
别臭美了
I get one every morning.
我每天早上都这么硬
Where's Louis?
路易斯呢
It's 7:00. We fell asleep.
七点了 我们睡着了
Oh, crap. Th-The bike.
糟了 那辆脚踏车
The presents. What are we gonna do?
还有礼物 我们该怎么办
Well, is it too late to tell him we're Jewish?
现在告诉他我们是犹太人会不会太晚
What the...
怎么回事
Santa came! He is real!
圣诞老人真的来了 他真的存在哦
Did you...?
是你吗
No.
不是我
He's on the video.
录像里拍到他了
You didn't see Grandma Evelyn wrestling with Santa, did you?
你没看到外婆和圣诞老人"摔跤"的场面吧
No, just Santa.
没 就只有圣诞老人
That's...
这还真是
Santa.
圣诞老人
Oh, my God.
我的天
If the Easy Bake Oven I have always wanted
如果树下有我一直想要的
is under that tree, it is gonna blow my mind.
儿童简易烤箱 我就要高兴疯了
Can I go outside and ride my bike?
我可以出去骑脚踏车吗
Sure.
可以
Alan, do you want to...? Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
艾伦 你能不能 哦 好啊
Uh, let's go, buddy.
我们走吧 小家伙
Looks like we had a great Christmas
看来我们圣诞节过得不错
and saved $75.
还省了了75大洋
Rose?
罗斯
All right, come on, Rose, I know you're down there.
拜托罗斯 我知道你在下面
Actually, I'm behind you.
事实上 我在你后面
Ah, son of a...!
我了个去
How do you do that?
你怎么上来的
Why do you do that?!
你干嘛要吓我
Oh, a girl's got to have a little fun.
妹子都喜欢找点乐子嘛
Merry Christmas.
圣诞快乐
I-I cannot believe that you went to all that trouble for us.
我不敢相信你为了我们如此费心
You mean you can't believe Santa went to all that trouble.
你是说你不敢相信圣诞老人如此费心吧
Okay, then I guess
这样的话
I need to say thank you to Santa.
我应该给圣诞老人说谢谢
Well, he doesn't do it for the thanks,
他不是为了被感谢才做的
he does it because he genuinely wants
而是希望他身边的人快乐
to make the people in his life happy.
所以才做的
Are you happy, Walden?
你高兴吗 沃尔顿
I am.
非常高兴
I-I couldn't have imagined a better Christmas morning.
圣诞节早上没有比这更美好的了
I mean, other than waking up with Alan poking me in the back.
除了醒来发现艾伦在后面"戳"我以外
Listen, I...
听着 我
I'm sorry that I said I didn't want you around.
抱歉我之前说不想你接近
Oh, please.
没关系
It's not like every time somebody says something mean to me,
又不是每一次别人说我坏话
I write it down in a big book called
我就会把它记在一本厚书里
"Those Who Have Wronged Me."
取名叫《那些年冤枉过我的人》
That's funny.
这个好笑
I think.
我想你是说笑吧
Well, I told you before, I just want to be your friend.
我之前说过 我只是想做你的朋友
Well, you are.
你是我的朋友
And...
还有
I'm sorry if I forgot that.
抱歉之前我忘记了这件事
Oh, hey, but how did Santa
不过圣诞老人是怎么
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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