好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S12E11
Part 4
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:10 p.m.
** Baby, why don't we go *
* 宝贝 何不启程出发
** Ooh, I want to take you down to Kokomo *
* 我想带你去往科科莫
** We'll get there fast *
* 我们快快走
** And then we'll take it slow *
* 我们慢慢玩
** That's where we want to go *
* 那就是我们的目的地
** Way down in Kokomo *
* 去往科科莫
** Martinique *
* 马提尼克
* That Monserrat mystique.*
* 蒙塞拉特的秘密
That is my jam,
这是哀家的曲子
and y'all are my bitches.
我的小婊砸们
What the hell are you doing?
你到底在干嘛
I'm just being a fun guy. What are you doing?
表现的幽默一点 你在干嘛
You're about as much fun as the polyp in Rick's colon.
你快赶上里克的结肠息肉一样有趣了
You're doing exactly what I thought you would.
你果然跟我料想中一样
You're taking my friends.
你夺走我的朋友们
Just like you take everything.
和你夺走我的一切一样
You took my house, you took my money, you even took my old jeans
我的房♥子 我的银子 甚至还有旧裤子
and turned 'em into cutoffs.
剪成大裤衩穿
They're called jorts, and they look great on me.
那叫牛仔短裤 我穿可帅了呢
Okay, you knew I didn't want you here
你知道我不希望你来
and you said you weren't gonna be here,
你也说自己不会来
yet here you are
结果你来了
with your... guacamole
带着你那...鳄梨色拉酱
and your fresco queso.
和莫斯科私企
It's queso fresco.
是墨西哥起司
You do not correct me when I'm mocking you.
我取笑你时不许纠正我
You know what? You know what? I think...
我跟你说 我觉得...
I think that the reason that you didn't want me here
你之所以不希望我来
is because you were afraid
是因为你害怕
that they were gonna like me better than you.
你怕跟我比 大家会更喜欢我
Okay, I can honestly say that I have never
我挖心掏肺的说实话
had that thought in my life.
我这辈子压根就没有这念头
Everything okay in here?
这里还好吧
Well, am I allowed to answer your friends, Walden?
能允许我回答你的朋友们吗 沃顿
I'm sorry you guys had to see this.
对不起让你们见到这个样子
Oh, come on, we've all been there.
得了吧 我们都经历过
I mean, just a while back, Jack's wife chased him
就刚才 杰克的老婆拿着牛排刀
around his house with a steak knife.
追的他满院子跑
Trust me, I was in no danger.
相信我 我完全没有危险
She couldn't use a kitchen utensil to save her life.
区区厨房♥用品 她哪保得住自己的命
We can help you work though this.
我们能帮你们解决这事
That's what the group is for.
互助会就是为了解决这种事
Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
对啊 对
Hey, why don't we do some role playing?
要不我们来点角色扮演
Okay, you're... you're, uh, Alan,
好 你是 艾伦
and you just found out that Walden
你刚刚发现沃顿不想
doesn't want you around his friends.
你和他的朋友们一起玩
Fine.
行
Thank you, Walden,
谢谢你 沃顿
for letting me live here rent-free.
让我免费住在这里
Despite not contributing anything to this household,
尽管我对这个家毫无建树
I ignore even your most basic requests.
我还忽视了你最基本的一个要求
Um... You're not really supposed to use this to attack.
这不是让你俩借机攻击对方的
Wait, hold on. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
等等 等等
I'm Walden,
我是沃顿
and I get off on making Alan feel bad about himself.
最爱做把快乐建立在艾伦的痛苦上的事
Well, I'm Alan, and I get off on everything.
我是艾伦 什么都可以拿来打飞机
Including the stock photos
包括从超♥市♥买♥♥相框
that come from the picture frames from Target.
里面带的那张样品照片
That was one time. The Internet was down,
就那么一次 网断了
and-and she reminded me of a girl I knew in high school.
她还长的像我高中时喜欢的女生
Yeah, we've all been there. Sears catalog.
是 我们都做过 西尔斯百货的目录照
Neiman Marcus.
内曼·马库斯[高端百货公♥司♥]
The Indian girl from the Land O'Lakes box.
蓝多湖公♥司♥箱子上印的印度妞
Okay, you know what,
好了 我受够了
I'm sick of having the same fight over and over again.
我们总是因为同一件事一遍又一遍的吵
You know, why do we keep doing this?
我们为什么还要继续
'Cause you love him and he loves you.
因为你爱他来他爱你
Also, where am I?
还有 我这是在哪
Oh, hey, Brian, I know you've been asleep for a few meetings,
布莱恩 你睡过了几次聚会
but Walden told us they're not actually gay.
但沃顿说了 他们不是真基佬
I know they're not gay. I said they love each other.
我知道他们不是 我是说他们彼此相爱
It's the only thing that can explain
这是唯一能解释为什么
why they make each other so crazy.
他们总把彼此逼疯
You chose to adopt this kid together for a reason.
你们选择一起收养孩子是有原因的
Why don't you talk about that?
怎么不谈谈那个
Oh, God, my wife said the twins are sick.
天 我老婆说孩子们病了
I got to go.
我得出发了
Back to sleep.
前往梦乡之中
By the way, not cool about my sister.
顺便说下 对我妹妹真不地道
No judgment?
没意见吗
I'm Alan.
我是艾伦
And I'm always there for Walden whenever he needs me the most.
当沃顿最需要我时 我总是在他身边
And I do look good in jorts.
我穿牛仔短裤可帅了呢
And my nachos are restaurant quality.
我做的玉米脆饼是饭店水准的
Well, I'm Walden, and, uh,
我是沃顿
I've been the best friend that Alan's ever had.
我是艾伦有过最好的朋友
And also,
还有
I'm not angry about the 20s
我没有因为他时不时地
he occasionally steals from my wallet.
偷我钱包里的零钱生气
I'm sorry I said I didn't want you around.
对不起我说我不想你来
I'm sorry I was smothering you.
对不起我逼你逼的太紧了
Bring it in. I'm s...
来吧
You know where we should go?
知道我们该去哪吗
** Bermuda, Bahama *
* 百慕大 巴哈马
** Come on, pretty mama *
* 来吧 漂亮妈妈
** To Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go? *
* 去基拉哥 蒙特卡洛 宝贝 何不启程出发
Wait, are you really taking me to... No.
等等 你是真要带我去... 没有
** The Florida Keys, there's a place called Koko...*
* 佛罗里达群岛 有过地方叫科...
I just want to tell you guys,
我想跟你们说
I love being a part of this group.
能成为组里的一员 我好开心
And we love having you, Alan.
你能加入 我们也很高兴 艾伦
Oh, well, thank you. So, as I was saying,
谢谢你 我刚才说到
why is it that I'm willing to take
为什么我可以牺牲整整三个小时
three hours to make him dinner
给他做顿晚饭
and he won't take three seconds to tell me
而他却不肯花区区三秒钟告诉我
what he wants?
他想要什么
Speaking of three seconds, can we talk about the sex?
说到区区三秒钟 我们谈谈性生活吧
At least you're having sex, sister.
至少你还有性生活呢 姐妹
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
剧集 | 好汉两个半（2003） | 导航列表