好汉两个半（2003）

Two and a Half Men S12E02

Part 2 Nov. 18, 2020, 5:08 p.m.

our hard-won civil liberties.
我们拼来的公民自♥由♥
You marched in those parades
你去参加那些游♥行♥
so you could get drunk and pick up chicks.
不过是为了喝酒和泡妞
Hard-won chicks.
拼来的妞
All right, look, we're not making a mockery of anything,
好啦听着我们没有玩弄任何事物
and I get the challenges that gay couples face,
我也明白同性恋伴侣会面临什么挑战
but I-I also know that there are a lot of kids out there
但我还知道这世上有很多孩子
that are just looking for a good home,
在寻找一个好的家庭
and I think we can provide that.
而我们可以提供一个家啊
And I get health insurance.
这样我也有医保了
You guys are lucky you're in California.
你们真该庆幸你们是在加州
In some states, they still don't let gay couples get married
在某些州仍不允许同性恋结婚
or adopt kids.
或领养孩子
You know, when I was in Utah,
当我在犹他州时
I vomited on a police officer,
我吐在一名警♥察♥身上
and I was arrested.
结果被逮捕了
Simply for being gay.
就因为我是同性恋
Wow, this is a lot to take in.
这信息量太大了
My son is going to get married and have a child with...
我的儿子要结婚要领养孩子而伴侣是...
Oh, God, where... where did I go wrong?
上帝啊我到底做错了什么啊
Oh, there he is, my same-sex shorty.
他回来了我的同性♥伴♥侣♥
My friend with no benefits.
我同住不同床的朋友
My boo.
我的情郎
You know, I do have 99 problems, and you're all of them.
我有99个问题而你就是全部的根源
What's all this?
这些都是什么
Uh, oh, I'm, uh...
我...
I'm making a dream board for our wedding.
我在做我们婚礼的梦想板
Uh, there's also a Pinterest page,
在品趣志也有一个页面
or you can go to: Alan and Walden's big day dot com.
或者你可以输入艾伦和沃顿大喜之日.com
Yeah, I got the link you sent me.
我知道我收到你发的链接了
Uh, I really loved the photoshopped picture
我很喜欢你电脑合成的那张照片
of both us peeking around the same tree.
就是我们俩从一棵树后面探出头来
However, you know,
不管怎样
we're not doing, like, a big, lavish wedding.
我们不会办一个奢华的大型婚礼
Oh, okay, I get it.
没事我懂
You know, small destination wedding.
在度假地办个小型婚礼也行
Just the two of us, the beach,
咱俩在海滩
wearing leis around our necks,
脖子上戴着花环
matching linen shirts, sand tickling our toes.
身着情侣亚麻衬衫沙子在亲吻我们的脚趾
Seagulls flying overhead.
海鸥在我们头上盘旋
And where do you see this happening?
你怎么会瞎想到这种画面呢
Well, obviously, there's Hawaii and Cabo.
显然我们有夏威夷和卡波海滩可供选择
I'd be happy with either one of those.
随便哪个我都没意见
Um, but I hear that Greece is fabulous this time of year.
但我听说这个季节的希腊非常美
And just FYI, Mykonos is very friendly to same-sex couples.
顺便说一句米科诺斯对同性♥伴♥侣♥可是非常友好哟
Opa!
好吧
Nopa!
不好吧
We're getting married in the courthouse.
我们会在法♥院♥结婚
Please tell me the "courthouse" is a chic bar in Ibiza.
请告诉我"法♥院♥"是地中海伊比沙岛的一间时髦酒吧
No, it's a rundown courthouse
不就在连锁润滑油公♥司♥
around the corner from the Jiffy Lube.
转角处的一间破旧的法♥院♥
We'll pay 50 bucks,
花50块钱
we'll do some paperwork,
签一些文件
and if you're good, we'll go outside to the food truck,
如果你没意见我们可以去外面的快餐车
and I'll buy you a gyro.
给你买♥♥个希腊皮塔三明治
Opa!
好吧
Okay. I see.
好吧我懂了
What's wrong?
怎么了
Nothing.
没事
Talk to me.
说吧
No, it's fine.
真没事
You know, I just wanted to make sure
我只是想尽力确保
this whole thing was special for us,
整件事是特别的无论是对我们而言
for you, but, you know, it's no big deal.
还是对你而言但其实也没什么大不了的
I'm sure we can still make it special.
我相信我们仍能让它变得特别
Maybe, uh... maybe Jenny can take some pictures on her iPhone.
或许就让珍妮拿手♥机♥ 帮我们拍几张照片吧
Alan, come on.
艾伦别这样
Don't touch me.
别碰我
Look, this isn't about us.
这事的重点不是我们
It's about bringing a kid into our lives.
而是我们要领养一个孩子
It's a simple business transaction,
这只是简单的商业交易
like paying an electric bill, or buying dinner, or...
就像交电费或请客吃饭或...
writing a rent check.
写支票交房♥租
Stop me when I land on something you've actually done.
麻烦在我说到你有做过的事情时喊停
I just got excited
人家刚才超兴奋的
because I've never had the wedding I always dreamed of.
因为我从未拥有过梦想中的婚礼
Right, the wedding that every little boy dreams of.
是啊那些小少男的白日梦婚礼
You know, we still need to get each other rings.
我们还是要给对方买♥♥戒指
We can just get something online.
随便在网上买♥♥俩就行
Or we could go into Beverly Hills and have brunch,
或者我们可以去比佛利山庄吃个早午餐
and go ring shopping together.
然后一起去买♥♥戒指
Really?
真的吗
Sure.
当然
Because I do have ideas.
因为我的确对戒指有些想法
Hey, Berta, do we have any carrots?
波塔咱们家有"白"萝卜吗
Oh, wait. I've got 14 karats of white gold
慢着我有一只14克拉的"白"金戒指
right here.
请看这里
You'll make a beautiful bride, Zippy.
你会是一个漂亮的新娘废柴
Hey, there's my future baby daddy!
我未来宝宝的爸爸来了
If I got to listen to this, I got to be a lot higher.
如果要我听这种肉麻对话那我要更多薪水[大♥麻♥]
Hey, uh, I got some paperwork for you to sign.
我这有些文件需要你签
Oh, uh, and I've got some paperwork for you to sign.
我也有些文件需要你签
Guess it's true. Married couples do start to think alike.
人们说得没错已婚夫妇想法♥会♥变得一致
Maybe soon, we'll start to look alike,
或许不久后我们长相也会一致
he said hopefully.
他满怀希望地说
It's the application form for our marriage license.
这是我们结婚证的申请书
Oh, look at you. Yeah.
瞧瞧你是啊
I guess somebody's gonna get that money
我猜某人会拿这笔钱
for that Mani-pedi he wants after all.
去做一直想做的手部和足部护理
Ah, you spoil me.
是你宠坏人家啦
No, I'm just trying to be a good business partner.
不是啦我只是努力当个生意好伙伴
The Johnson to your Johnson.
你棒我棒双棒合璧
Wait, that-that didn't come out right.
等等这话听起来怎么这么别扭
So, uh... so what do you need me to sign?
那你想让我签什么
Uh, just this.
这个
Oh. What's that?
那是什么
Oh, it's a simple dissolution of services agreement.
只是一份简单的散伙服务协议
Oh, you-you mean, like a... like a prenup?
比如像婚前协议书吗
Yup. So, it's not a big deal.
对这没什么大不了的
Just go ahead and sign it, he said hopefully.
快签吧他满怀希望地说
Why do we need a prenup?
我们为什么要签婚前协议
And here we go.
果不其然
When couples get married,
一对伴侣结婚时
finances become complicated,
财产变得很复杂
and this just simplifies it.
这样就能简化了
Oh, does it?
是吗
'Cause it seems like it's pretty simple right now.
因为现在的状况倒是挺简单的
You don't trust me.
你不信任我
Okay, that's not true at all.
不是这样的
Isn't it?
是吗
I mean, is this what you really think of me?
你就是这么看待我的
That I'm some kind of gold digger?
我就是一个拜金男吗
Okay, yes, I have lived here four years rent-free.
好吧是的我在这里免费住了四年
Look, why do you have to make this difficult?
你干嘛非得把这事儿搞这么复杂
You know, why do you make everything so difficult?
你干嘛非得把所有事搞这么复杂
It's like yesterday at brunch, when you sent back the champagne
比如昨天吃早午餐的时候你把香槟退了
because the bubbles didn't taste like mouthful of stars?
因为酒的泡沫尝起来没有"满口星星"的感觉
If it doesn't explode in your mouth, what's the point?
如果泡沫在嘴里不爆开还有什么意思
You said that to the waiter, too, and it was troubling then!
你对服务生也这么说的听起来就很黄
Look, I'm just trying to protect my assets.
我只是想保护我的财产