好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S12E02
Part 4
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:08 p.m.
You owe me nothing.
你什么都不欠我
I mean, other than two dollars for the envelope
除了买♥♥信封的两美元
and $1.75 for postage.
和一块七毛五的邮票钱
Nothing for gas?
汽油钱不用我出吗
No, I just filled up.
不用 我自己加回来了
Will you still be my husband?
你还愿意当我丈夫吗
You know I can't quit you.
你知道我对你欲罢不能
Listen, I-I know this isn't the wedding
我知道这并不是
that you've always dreamed of,
你的梦中婚礼
but I-I got a little surprise for you for the ceremony.
但我在婚礼给你准备了惊喜
Tell me Vera Wang started making tuxes.
难道是王薇薇开始做燕尾服了吗
Even better.
比那更棒
** When a man loves another man *
* 当一个男人爱上了一个男人
** Can't keep his mind on nothing else *
* 对他来说什么都不重要了
Oh... my... God.
我 的 天
It's like you live inside my dreams.
简直就像在梦里一般
Happy wife, happy life.
老婆好 才是真的好
Uh, fellas, can we get this going?
同志们 我们能速战速决吗
There's a lot of gay couples here who'd like to get married
后面有一大群同性恋情侣还等着
before the Supreme Court changes its mind.
赶在最高法♥院♥改主意之前结婚呢
Plus, this place is crawling with cops,
还有 这地方到处都是条子
and I've got six months to a year hidden in my purse.
我包里还藏着六到十二个月的"罪行"
** When a man loves another man *
* 当一个男人爱上了一个男人
Kill it, Bolton.
别唱了 波顿
Hello, Michael.
好啊 迈克尔
You know, I have a vibrator named after you.
我有根电动棒是以你命名哦
Well, that's very flattering.
受宠若惊
Would you like me to sign it?
用我帮你签名吗
I have a special pen.
我有根特殊的"大笔"
What a coincidence.
真巧
I have a bit of a nasty habit
我有个下流的坏习惯
of putting the tips of pens into my mouth.
喜欢把"笔尖"含在嘴里
We're here to join Walden Schmidt
我们在此见证沃顿·施密特
and Alan Harper in legal marriage.
和艾伦·哈勃的合法婚姻
Have you two written your own vows?
有自己的婚誓要宣读吗
No, the, uh, standard... the standard
没有 标准的就行
"Or richer, for poorer" actually fits us quite well.
"不论富有还是贫穷"还挺贴切的
Actually,
其实
I've written a little something down.
我自己写了点东西
What? You didn't.
什么 你不是吧
I wanted to surprise you.
我想给你惊喜嘛
Vows and Bolton?
誓言加波顿
When a man... Not the cue, Bolton.
当一个男人... 那不是喊你唱歌♥ 波顿
Today,
今天
I'm marrying my best friend.
我要跟我最好的朋友结婚
Do not cry.
不许哭
Keep it together, Alan.
坚持住 艾伦
In the last four years, I've been through a lot.
在过去的四年中 发生了很多事
Uh, there's been good times and bad times.
生活有起有落
But through it all, you were there.
但由始至终 你都在我身边
And I can't imagine a future without you.
我无法想象没有你的未来
I guess what I'm trying to say is...
其实我想告诉你的是...
I love you.
我爱你
I love you, too.
我也爱你
This is the gayest wedding I've ever been to.
这是我参加过最基情的婚礼
I think it's beaut... Wh-Whose hand is on my ass?
讲得太好了...我屁♥股♥上是谁的手
Sorry. Sorry.
抱歉 抱歉
Walden,
沃顿
do you take Alan to be your lawfully wedded husband?
你是否愿意接受艾伦成为你的合法丈夫
I do.
我愿意
And, Alan, do you take Walden to be your...
艾伦 你是否愿意接受沃顿成为你的...
Try and stop me.
谁敢拦我试试
I now pronounce you married.
我宣布你们成为合法伴侣
You may kiss.
你们可以接吻了
Oh. Oh, yeah.
对
Um, kiss. Right.
接吻 好的
Aw, what the hell.
管他呢
** When a man loves another man... *
* 当一个男人爱上了一个男人
Morning.
早安
Hey. There's the old balls and chain.
我的老伴儿来了
How was your wedding night?
你的新婚之夜如何
Much like my first one.
和第一次结婚一样
I spent it masturbating alone.
我自撸到天明
You're the only guy I know
你是我唯一见过的结婚礼物
that would register for lotion and tissues.
要求收乳液与纸巾的人
That was some party last night, huh?
昨晚的派对真够劲儿
Yeah, it must have been. I woke up out here.
肯定挺疯狂 我在这儿醒过来的
And I'm pretty sure I'm wearing Jenny's underwear.
我非常确定我穿的是珍妮的内♥裤♥
Yeah.
是啊
The whole evening's a little fuzzy for me, too.
昨晚的事都记不太清了
The last thing I remember is
我只记得你
you doing body shots off of Michael Bolton.
喝迈克尔·波顿身上的酒
All of us did body shots off of Michael Bolton.
我们所有人都喝迈克尔·波顿身上的酒了
Even our moms got along.
就连我们的妈妈们都能和谐共处
I wasn't sure they'd click at first, but...
开始我也不确定俩人能合得来
in the end, they came together.
但最后她们相处得还真和谐
** When a man loves two women... *
* 当一个男人爱上两个女人
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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