好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S12E09
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:09 p.m.
Good news is, you finally got my bra off.
好消息是 你总算解开我的胸罩了
Morning.
早
Morning. Where's Louis?
早 路易斯呢
I sent him to take a bath.
我让他去洗澡了
Oh, by the way, if you want syrup on your French toast,
如果你想在法式吐司上加糖浆
catch him before he hits the water.
赶在他下水前抓住他
No. No French toast for me.
不 我不吃法式吐司
I'm hitting the gym a little later.
一会儿我要去健身房♥
Oh, uh, by the way, the beach is that way.
对了 海滩在那个方向哦
Oh, look at that.
看看
Uh, my fitness band says that my pulse rate is 87.
我的健身手环说我的脉搏是87呢
Tell me when it gets to zero.
等它变成0的时候再通知我
Yeah, joke all you want,
哈哈 随便你开玩笑吧
but this little gizmo tracks all my physical activity.
但这个小玩意可以记录我所有的活动
So far today, I have burned... 400 calories.
到现在为止 我今天已经燃烧了400卡路里
Oh, wow. Did you go for a run?
哇 你出去跑步了吗
Nope, never left my bed.
没 我就没下过床
Oh, come on!
拜托
So, how was your playdate with Laurel?
你和罗洛儿玩得开心吗
Okay, let-let me... let me ask you guys something.
我...我问你们一件事
When you had young kids, and they were still in the house,
你们以前有小孩在家时
did you have a hard time, like... you know...
是不是很难有机会做那个 你懂的...
Oh, well, Jake walked in on Judith and me countless times.
杰克撞见我和朱蒂斯好多次
Eventually, we stopped having sex altogether.
最后我们终于再也不滚床单了
Those aren't related.
当然两者之间没直接关系
I just... I don't know what to do.
我只是不知道该怎么做
It's like, Louis is stealing your sausage and blocking mine.
路易斯不光偷了你的香肠 也挡了我的"香肠"
Well, sooner or later, you just get over it.
以后你就不会在意这种事了
Uh, but in the meantime, why don't you take her out
你干嘛不带她去酒店
for a romantic night to a hotel?
共度美好一晚呢
Oh. I like that.
我喜欢这主意
Plus, people do all kinds of things in hotels
再说了 人们在酒店总会做
they don't do at home.
在家不会做的事
Like pay eight dollars for peanuts.
比如花八块钱买♥♥一包花生吃
I used to love to have sex in hotel rooms.
我以前可喜欢在酒店滚床单了
Then they caught me, and they fired me.
后来他们发现了 就把我给炒了
Do you want to work in?
你是不是想用它锻炼啊
What?
什么
Oh, oh, uh, work in, yeah.
对 锻炼
Uh, definitely want to work in.
当然是想锻炼了
Why else would I be sitting here?
不然我坐在这里干什么呢
Thanks. No problem.
谢谢 不客气
Just, uh, show you the proper technique.
让我给你示范一下正确技巧吧
Here we go.
开始了
Bum shoulder. Yeah.
肩膀不好
Got it the last Iron Man.
上次看《钢铁侠》时伤到了
The movie, not the triathlon.
我是说电影 不是铁人三项
I slipped in the lobby on some artificial butter.
在电影大厅踩到黄油滑倒了
There we go, lighten the load, and, uh...
减轻一点重量
One time, here we go.
好了 开始
Oh, God!
我的妈呀
Nice meeting you!
很高兴认识你
Hey, Alan.
艾伦
Oh. Oh, hey, Lyndsey.
林赛 你好
Yeah, I was just, uh...
我只是在
I was just doing the, uh, the fly machine.
我刚用完这个扩胸机器
You know, working out.
锻炼锻炼嘛
You're really committing to this workout thing.
你对健身这事还真上心啊
I'm impressed.
我很吃惊
I know. I haven't been anyplace two days in a row
我知道 自从泽西男孩巡演以来
since Jersey Boys was touring.
我都没连续两天去过一个地方了
Where's Herb? Uh, in the office.
赫伯呢 他上班呢
He got all excited about an outbreak of pinkeye.
他很开心 最近流行红眼病
When kids see pink, Herb sees green.
孩子们得到红眼睛 霍伯得到绿票子
Well, tell him I said "Hi."
告诉他我向他问好
Oh, I don't know if that's such a great idea.
我不知道这样做好不好
What do you mean?
你什么意思
Well, get this.
是这样的
Uh, after we saw you the other day,
上次我们见到你后
he wanted to know if it was okay to ask you out.
他想问我可不可以约你出来
But don't worry. I told him no.
别担心 我拒绝了他
What?
什么
You have no right to decide who I go out with.
你没权利决定我该和谁约会吧
Oh, come on, Lyndsey. I mean, how would you feel
林赛 要是我和你的朋友约会
if one of your friends wanted to go out with me?
你会怎么想呢
Shocked, stunned, like I need new friends.
震惊 大受打击 马上去找新朋友
Look, I am just trying to help.
我只是想帮你而已
You just got sober.
你刚戒了酒
I mean, before you move onto somebody else,
你开始约会之前
you should probably get over your breakup with Captain Morgan.
应该先忘掉你和摩根船长牌朗姆酒分手的痛苦
Are you freaking kidding me?!
你♥他♥妈♥的在逗我吗
If I want to go out with Herb, it is none of your business.
如果我想和赫伯约会 也不管你的事
In fact, nothing I do is any of your business!
我不管做什么事都和你无关
Just stay the hell out of my life!
我的生活不用你管
Roid rage.
吃类固醇易怒
Okay.
不错
This was officially a great idea.
现在看来这主意真是好啊
Did you like the way I checked us in?
喜欢我们登记入住的名字吗
Mr. And Mrs. R. Doinit?
甘德欢夫妇
Um, I like to go by my maiden name--
我喜欢我的中间名
Gettin' Some.
性福
Hey, check this out.
看这个
I just walked across the floor without stepping on a Lego.
我光脚走在地上 一个乐高玩具都踩不到
Look, there's chocolate on the pillows,
看啊 枕头上有巧克力
and it's not even in the shape of a handprint.
居然不是巧克力手印
Oh. Get over here, woman. Uh-uh.
过来 你这女人
No, no. I've got a surprise for you.
不 我给你准备了惊喜
A surprise?
惊喜
Yay! What is it?
棒哦 是什么
Oh, I'll give you a hint.
给你个提示
It's lacy, it's new, and you get to bite the tags off.
有蕾丝 全新的 你得咬掉商标
If it's big enough to have tags on it,
如果大到可以贴商标
I already don't like it.
那我不喜欢了
Alan, what are you doing here?
艾伦 你来干嘛
Well, I felt bad about earlier, and I wanted to apologize.
之前的事我很抱歉 所以我来跟你道歉
These are for you.
这给你
For me, huh?
给我的吗
"Mr. Schmidt, thank you so much for your generous donation
"施密特先生 感谢您对儿童医院
to the children's hospital."
慷慨捐助"
Um, I-I did not see that.
我没看到那个
Is that the pizza guy?
送披萨的来了吗
Herb?
赫伯
Alan, what are you doing here?
艾伦 你来这干嘛
What are you doing here,
你才来这干嘛
and... and why are you wearing my robe?
还有 你怎么穿着我的睡袍
I'll let you guys talk.
你们二位先聊
Alan, you showing up here is the second best thing
艾伦 你能来是今天
that's happened to me today.
第二好的好事
What the hell, Herb?
搞什么鬼 赫伯
Believe me, I had no intention of going behind your back,
相信我 我本来没想背着你行动
but out of nowhere, Lyndsey invited me over for dinner,
但林赛突然就邀请我来吃晚饭
and I thought, "What's the harm?"
我想"又不会掉块肉"
Well, then, dinner turned into dessert,
结果晚饭吃完吃甜点
and dessert turned into, well, sex with Lyndsey.
甜点吃完... 吃林赛
This hurts, Herb.
太痛心了 赫伯
Yesterday you were tickling my prostate,
昨天你咯吱我前列腺
and today you're stabbing me in the back.
今天就在背后捅我
Hey, it's your fault.
都怪你
You made me forbidden fruit.
把我变成了诱人禁果
I was off-limits, like dancing in Footloose.
让人无法触碰 就像在《浑身是劲》里跳舞
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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