好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S12E04
Part 4
Nov. 18, 2020, 5:09 p.m.
Oh, my God, we got a boy!
天啊 我们有儿子了
I get a do-over for Jake!
我可以把杰克返厂换新了
I only have to worry about one penis!
我只用担心一条鸡鸡了
I like to wear women's underwear!
我喜欢穿女人内♥裤♥
What?
什么
I thought we were confessing things.
我以为大家是在坦白秘密
There he is.
他来了
He's got your nose and Alan's eyes.
他鼻子像你 眼睛像艾伦
Larry, I told you before that...
拉里 我告诉你了...
Thank you, Larry.
谢谢 拉里
Look at him. He's so amazing.
看他 多神奇
I can't think of anything more beautiful
想不出现在还有什么能比
than what I'm looking at right now.
就这么看着他更美好的事了
Yeah. Mm-hmm. It's true, that's the truth.
是啊 说的太对了
But how much more beautiful would it be
但如果那俩俏护士现在开始亲热
if those two nurses just started making out right now?
是不是会更加美好
Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.
是啊 说得太对了
How you doing?
你还好吗
I'm good.
挺好的
Tired.
除了累
Sore.
还有疼
Look at this little guy.
看这个小男子汉
Can I hold him?
能让我抱抱吗
Uh, sure.
当然
Oh, he is the cutest thing ever.
他是世上最美的东西
Hey, hey... high-five.
来来 击个掌吧
You can owe me.
算你欠我的
Welcome to the world, little buddy.
欢迎降生到世界 小家伙
We're gonna have so much fun.
我们会有很多欢乐的
We're gonna go to ball games together
一起去玩球
and go swimming together
一起去游泳
and pick up chick... ens together.
一起去泡...泡椒凤爪
Smile. Come on.
笑一个 快
Okay, uh...
好
Oh, oh, oh. Look at that picture.
看看这照片
The two most handsome men in the world.
全世界最帅的两个男人
And they're both mine.
都是我的
Oh, what's the matter?
怎么了
Uh, maybe he wants his mommy.
可能想找妈妈了
Oh, all right, come here, little buddy.
好的 来妈妈这 小宝贝
Uh, I think he might be hungry.
我是说他可能饿了
Oh, of course.
当然了
Oh, yeah, of course.
对 没错
Okay, here.
来 给你
There.
抱住
I miss him already.
我已经开始思念他了
Yeah, it's hard to let him go.
是啊 爱不释手
Actually, it's impossible.
其实是 无法放手
I am so sorry.
非常抱歉
Wait. What, uh... what just happened?
等等 刚刚发生什么了
Did I... did I miss something?
我错过剧情了吗
She's keeping the baby.
她准备留下孩子
But what-what about law school?
那法学院怎么办
The-the five-year plan?
五年计划呢
After I saw this little guy...
当我看到这个小家伙之后...
the plan changed.
计划就变了
I mean, before, I couldn't imagine my life with him.
以前我无法想象有他的生活是怎样的
Now I can't imagine it without him.
现在我是无法想象没有他会怎样
But... but he's gonna be a great dad.
但...他会是一个出色的父亲
Alan... No, no. HHe loves him.
艾伦 不 他爱他
Alan, it's...
艾伦 这...
Okay, let's-let's just approach this practically.
好吧 我们直接说点实际的
Um... how much for the kid?
孩子多少钱
Uh, I have, uh,
我有
I have $32 on me.
有32美元
I'm gonna need three dollars for dinner at AMPM,
我得留3元去超商买♥♥晚饭
but the rest is yours.
剩下的都归你了
Believe me, I feel terrible.
我说真的 我也很难过
You feel terrible?
你还难过
We're-we're gonna be driving home with an empty car seat.
我们要开着婴儿安全椅没人坐的车回家
And you know what's waiting for us when we get there?
你知道等我们到家会面对什么吗
An empty nursery. An empty crib.
一间空婴儿房♥和一张空婴儿床
An empty... uh, uh....
一个空...
What's that Swedish thing
那瑞典东西叫什么来着
that, uh, that you wear like a pouch,
那个能穿在身上的育儿袋
to carry your baby around like a kangaroo?
你可以像袋鼠一样带着宝宝
Bjorn.
比约登背带
An empty Bjorn!
一个空比约登背带
An empty blue baby Bjorn!
一个蓝色的空比约登背带
Hard to say, but even harder to face.
发音难 面对它更难
Alan, just... stop.
艾伦 别说了
It's okay.
没关系
I wouldn't be able to give him up either,
换成是我也不会放弃他的
so I don't blame you.
所以我不会怪你
Really?
真的吗
I get it. You're his mom.
我懂 你是他的母亲
I'm so sorry to put you through all this.
让你经历这些事真是非常抱歉
Don't be sorry.
不用抱歉
He's... lucky.
他很幸运
You're both... very lucky.
你们都很...幸运
This man is a saint.
这就是个圣人
A damn saint.
他妈的大圣人
Let's go.
我们走
Say good-bye, Elliot.
说再见 艾略特
More like "Smelliot." Alan.
听着像"挨虐的" 艾伦
You doing okay?
你还好吗
Yeah.
好
Can you show me the picture of him?
再给我看看他的照片吧
Oh, please, don't put yourself through this.
行了 你别再给自己找罪受了
Come on, just one more time.
求你了 就再看一次
Okay.
好吧
Here.
给
Look at him.
看看他
He's perfect.
完美的宝贝
I'm sorry this didn't work out as planned.
很遗憾没有如预期般顺利
He still owes me a high-five.
他还欠我一个击掌呢
Don't worry.
别担心
We'll find our kid.
我们会有属于自己的孩子
I know.
我知道
In the meantime, you're still married to me.
与此同时 你还是我老公
Yes, I am.
没错 我还是
Why couldn't Kathy take you and give me the baby?!
为什么凯西不把你带走 把孩子留给我呢
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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