迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly S04E20
Part 2
Dec. 15, 2020, 3 p.m.
Slept with who?
睡了谁
Just drop it.
别哪壶不开提哪壶
Was it the one-legged woman in 4B?
是那个住4B单元的独腿妹吗
No.
不是
Was it the UPS girl with the big boobs and the mustache?
是那个大♥波♥胡须快递妹吗
No.
不是
The balding lady with the parrot?
那个养鹦鹉的秃顶妹
It was Victoria, okay?
是Victoria 满意了没
Is this true?
是真的吗
Yup.
是的
You... dirty... dog!
你这个 肮脏的 小淫棍
All right, all right.
好了 好了
Take it easy.
放松点
My man, this is big news!
天啊 这是个大新闻啊
Hey! There's nothing to celebrate here.
嘿 这又不是什么好事
Are you kidding?
你在开玩笑吗
If he can get somebody so clearly out of his league,
要是他这种癞蛤♥蟆♥都能吃上天鹅肉
that means there's hope for us all.
那意味着我们都有希望了
Hey, I'm a good-looking man.
喂 我长得挺好的
Carl, come on.
Carl 得了吧
Even you must know that whatever looks you have
你明明知道的 不管你长得多好
go away as soon as you open your mouth.
只要你一张嘴就全没了
And that-that's what makes all this so confusing.
所以我才想不明白这事儿
She knows you.
她了解你
Well?
这个嘛
Molly married you.
Molly还跟你结婚了呢
Victoria slept with Carl.
Victoria跟Carl睡了
Clearly poor judgment runs in the family.
很明显嘛 判断力低下是家族原因
If only there was a third sister.
要是还有一个妹妹就好了
What the hell were you thinking?
你♥他♥妈♥到底在想什么啊
I was thinking, "I can't
我在想 "我简直无法相信
believe this hot chick is sleeping with me."
这么个热辣的妞跟我睡了"
My man.
好样的
Put it down!
放下吧
Down low? No!
放低点 不是
Carl, I know you.
Carl 我知道你的
You fall too hard and too quick.
你太快太猛烈就坠入爱河了
And then you get bored and you move on.
然后你就觉得无聊 拍屁♥股♥走人
And normally, I don't care, but this is my sister-in-law.
一般我都不在意的 可这次是我的小姨子
Damn it, how am I supposed to tell Molly about this?
该死 我要怎么告诉Molly这事儿啊
Don't worry.
别担心
She already knows.
她已经知道了
What?
啥
She caught me sneaking out of Victoria's room last night.
她昨晚撞见我溜出Victoria房♥间来着
In my home?
在我家
You did it in my home?
你在我家做这些事情
Not all of it. Some of it was in my car.
不是全部啊 有的是在车里解决的
Aah!
啊
I don't want to know!
我不想知道这些
I kind of do.
我有点想
Hey, sweetie.
嘿 甜心
Shish kebabs.
串串烧哟
Carl told you?
Carl告诉你了
Yes.
对
And apparently I'm the last to know.
显而易见我是最后一个知道的
I'm sorry.
我很抱歉
Well, when were you gonna tell me?
好吧 你本来准备什么时候告诉我的
Hopefully never. I was hoping...
最好永远不告诉你 我本来
hoping the whole thing would just go away.
是希望能大事化小小事化了的
Can I ask one question?
能问个问题吗
What?
啥问题
Am I getting a remote controlled helicopter or not?
我还能得到遥控直升机不
It's in my trunk.
就在我车后备箱里
Okay, it's not a cure-all.
好吧 虽说这没治愈我
But it helps.
但是也挺有效的
Hey, Mike, heard you come in.
哎 Mike 我刚刚听见你回来了
Of course you did, because I wasn't sneaking around.
你当然听见了 我又不是溜进来的
Please don't be mad at me.
别对我生气啊
What happened between me and Carl last night was a mistake.
我跟Carl昨晚发生的事情是个错误
A horrible mistake.
特别可怕的错误
Terrible.
糟糕透顶的错误
But horny is as horny does.
但淫♥荡♥之人做淫♥荡♥之事
And last night, horny did.
昨晚亦是如此
Stop saying "Horny."
能不能别提"淫♥荡♥"了
I promise it won't happen again.
我保证以后不会再发生这种事儿了
Carl and I both know it was a one-time thing.
我跟Carl都知道这是一次性的
Are you sure? Absolutely.
你确定吗 当然
We regretted it the minute it happened.
我们第一时间就后悔了
Well, actually the minute after it happened.
好吧 是做完了之后第一时间
While it was going on, we were pretty gung-ho.
做的时候我们还挺来劲儿的
All right!
行了
Mike, don't worry. I don't see Carl that way.
Mike 别担心 我对Carl没有那种感情
We're just friends, that's it.
我们只是朋友 仅此而已
I don't want anything more than that,
我不希望有什么别的事情
and I'm sure he doesn't, either.
我肯定他也不希望
Okay, thanks.
好吧 谢了
Carl sent you something.
Carl给你送了点东西
Probably just a friendship bear.
可能就是个代表友谊的熊
Yeah. Read the card.
嗯 读读那卡上写了啥
"Victoria, if what we did last night was wrong,
"Victoria 如果我们昨晚的事情是一个错误"
I don't want to be right.
"我不想对下去了"
Press the paw."
"按一下熊爪子吧"
Don't press the paw.
别按爪子
No, press the paw.
不 按爪子
Don't press the paw!
别按爪子
Press it! Don't...
按呐 别
**I think I love you. So what am I so afraid of?*
*我觉得我爱你 那我又在担忧什么
Shut up
闭嘴
Shup up! Shut it up!
闭嘴 快关了
You shut up now!
你闭嘴
Just a bear.
那只是个熊啊
Enough!
够了
Shut up!
闭嘴
That's exactly what I thought was gonna happen! Well, I didn't see the bear coming.
我就知道会这样 我可没想到有这么一出
I really didn't.
我真没想到
Now I'm gonna be dealing with a brokenhearted Carl.
现在我得去应付心碎的Carl了
Do you know how much Norah Jones I'll have to listen to?
你知不知道我得听多少Norah Jones的歌♥
Well, what do you want me to do... force Victoria to like him?
你想让我怎么做 强迫Victoria去喜欢他
No, but it would be nice if she didn't throw herself
不 不过她要是不对每个送上门的阿猫阿狗
on top of every Tom, Dick and Carl that comes along.
都一见倾心 这倒是一件好事情
Hey, Bub, there were two people in that room!
喂喂 那房♥间里可有两个人
Well, he had no choice. Carl's just a man.
他没别的办法啊 Carl只是个男人
What could he do?
他能干嘛
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
这他妈又是什么意思
It's a woman's job to stop these things.
去阻止那一切是女人的责任
Are you an idiot?
你是白♥痴♥吗
Yes!
是
I'm an idiot, Carl's an idiot.
我就是个白♥痴♥ Carl也是个白♥痴♥
We're men. We're all idiots!
我们是男人 我们全是白♥痴♥
I'm sleeping on the couch, aren't I?
我要去睡沙发了是吧
Oh, you're smart enough to figure that out.
哦 看来你还是挺聪明啊 这都被你想明白了
So, are you the one that found the body?
是你发现的尸体
Yeah.
是的
Well, he's pretty old.
嗯 他很老了
It's looking like it's natural causes.
看起来是自然死亡
Yeah, poor guy. Mmm.
对啊 可怜人 嗯
You know, he kind of promised me his TV.
他说要把他的电视留给我的
So, is there, uh, some kind of paperwork,
嗯 那 有没有 纸类文件一类的
or should I just take it now?
还是我现在就能把那玩意拿走
Out.
滚
迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly
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