迈克和茉莉（2010）

Mike & Molly S04E13

Part 2 Dec. 15, 2020, 2:58 p.m.

Oh. Chairman Meow has allergies.
哦喵主席有过敏症
Who?
谁
Chairman Meow.
喵主席
What?
什么
Chairman Meow.
喵主席
What are you saying?
你到底在说些什么
The name of Harry's cat. Chairman Meow.
Harry的猫就叫这名儿喵主席
Oh, and Harry's working tomorrow,
而且Harry明天要工作
so somebody's gonna have to give him a shot.
所以要找个人给它打♥针♥
Who?
谁
Chairman Meow.
喵主席
Oh, and he says that if he sprays,
他说如果它喷屎的话
it's not coming from the rectum, but the...
便便不会从它的直肠出来而是
area around the rectum.
直肠周围的区域
What the hell is happening here?
这他妈到底发生了什么
I was only gone for eight hours!
我才离开了8个小时
All right, all right, just sit down. Everything's fine.
好了好了先坐下一切都好
Harry has moved out of his house with his mother,
Harry从他和他妈妈的房♥子里搬出来了
and he's living with us, temporarily,
现在他要和我们住在一起暂时地
just until he figures out what his plan is.
等他理清头绪就好了
Why is that our problem?
这和我们有什么关系
Well, Mike, I encouraged him.
Mike 是我鼓励他这么做的
I can't just give up on him.
我不能就这么放弃他
Why not? God gave up on him.
为什么不能上帝都放弃他了
Well, not me.
反正我不会
There's a lot of responsibility that comes with being a role model.
作为榜样是要承担很多责任的
You know what?
我告诉你
I should give a TED talk.
我应该去做个TED演讲
Who's Ted?
Ted是谁
Is he gonna be sleeping on our couch next?
他也要睡在我们的沙发上吗
Or-or is he gonna be losing his waiter job
还是他就要丢了服务生的饭碗了
'cause he's busy writing jokes?
因为他忙着写笑话
Is Samuel writing jokes?
Samuel在写笑话吗
Oh, that makes me so happy to hear that.
听到这个我真高兴
Molly, don't you see what you're doing?
Molly 你难道看不出来自己在做什么吗
You're messing with the natural order of things.
你把这些自然规律都搅乱了
What are you talking about?
你在说些什么啊
These people were perfectly happy
这些人以前非常开心地生活在
in their boring, humdrum lives.
他们枯燥乏味的生活中
Who are you to determine what's best for them?
你有什么资格替他们做主
Who are you? I know these people.
你又有什么资格我了解这些人
They're my friends. I'm just trying to protect them.
他们是我的朋友我只是想保护他们
From what? From you.
谁会伤害他们你啊
The worst thing you can do is fill people with hope!
让人们满怀希望就是最坏的一件事儿
Stop quoting your mother's pillows!
别再引用你妈枕头上的警句了
Chairman Meow?
喵主席
Chairman Meow?!
喵主席
Chairman Meow!
喵主席
What's going on?
出什么事了
Hi! Nothing. Just looking for that little tabby.
嗨没事只是在找那只小斑猫
I got half a suppository in him before he took off,
栓剂才塞到一半它就跑了
that...
那只
that rascal.
小坏蛋
I would've done the same thing if I was in his position.
我要是它我也会这么做的
Want to meddle in other people's lives,
想要管别人的闲事
this is what you get.
这就是你的下场
I'm fine.
我很好
I just have to give him a shot,
我只要给它打完针
put him in his little crate...
把它放在它的小箱子里
whisk him off to dialysis.
飞奔带它去透析
Don't let me interrupt your morning.
别让我打扰你的早晨
Come here and give me a quick kiss good-bye.
过来和我吻别
No, I don't think I should.
不还是算了吧
Aw, come on, cat lady,
别这样啊猫夫人
don't punish me for last night. I'm sorry.
别为昨晚的事惩罚我了我错了
Well, if you insist.
如果你一定要的话
What's that I'm tasting?
那是什么味道
I don't know. But I do know
我也不知道不过我知道
that it didn't come out of the Chairman's rectum.
那绝对不是从主席直肠里出来的东西
Ew!
恶
Molly's turning everybody's life upside down.
Molly把每个人的生活都弄得乱七八糟
I mean, you saw it with Samuel.
你看Samuel
He was a bad waiter with no future,
他本来是个糟糕的没有前途的服务生
and he was happy.
并且他很快乐
We were all happy.
我们都很快乐
Well, I agree. I mean, without her encouragement,
我同意没有她的鼓励
I doubt Samuel will ever have the guts
Samuel永远都不会有勇气
to do the stand-up thing.
去说单口相声
See? You get it.
看你就懂
Yes. Yes, I do.
是的是的我懂
I mean, not everybody has the talent to get up there
我是说不是每个人都有天赋
and wow an open-mic crowd like I do.
在表演之夜站在台上让观众折服
Right. Wait, what?
没错等等你说什么
Listen, that stage isn't only for bad comics.
那个舞台不止是为糟糕的喜剧演员准备的
Okay, it's also for talented,
它也是为天赋秉异
up-and-coming singers like myself.
像我一样很有前途的歌♥手准备的
Oh, no.
完了
She got to you, too.
你也被她洗♥脑♥了
Yes, she did.
没错
Her inspiration was an inspiration.
她的鼓励启发了我
Plus, it just makes sense.
而且那完全行得通
See, my police work... that's my act one.
看我的警♥察♥工作是我的第一幕
See, I got to prepare for my act two.
我要为我的第二幕做准备
In the history of history,
在历史的长河里
a cop has never quit his job to become a professional singer.
还从来没有哪个警♥察♥辞职去做职业歌♥手呢
Number one... Eddie Money. Boom. Aw.
一 Eddie Money 傻了吧你噢
Number two... the cop from the Village People.
二 "乡下人"组合里那个警♥察♥
And number three... Carl McMillan.
三 Carl McMillan
It's never gonna happen.
不可能的
Well, certainly not with that kind of support.
有你这种支持当然不可能
I mean, how come I don't get the Mike that Molly gets?
我的Mike为什么不能像Molly的Mike那样呢
'Cause I got nothing left to give!
因为我只能这样了
You selfish bastard.
你这个自私的混♥蛋♥
Who supported you at the police chili cook-off? Hmm?
警♥察♥辣椒烹饪大赛上是谁在支持你啊
Mm-hmm.
嗯哼
Yours was salty as hell,
你做的咸得要死
but I kept going back, bowl after bowl.
但我还是一碗接一碗地盛
Feet swelled so much,
害得我脚肿得不行
I went up a shoe size for a full week.
整整一周都得穿大一♥码♥的鞋
You never told me that.
你从没跟我说过
Yeah. 'Cause I didn't want you to feel bad.
是啊因为我不想让你内疚
That's what friends are for.
这才是朋友的意义
**Keep smiling*
*保持微笑
**Keep shining*
*保持闪耀
**Knowing you can always count on me*
*知道我永远是你的依靠
*For sure...* Knock it off!
*一定* 别唱了
You got to control that wife of yours.
你得管好你妻子
What'd she do now? Ugh.
她又怎么了唉
She's filling people's heads
她让人们满脑子都是
with these ridiculous pipe dreams.
那些荒谬的白日梦
Vince used to wake me up in the middle of the night to have sex.
Vince以前总在半夜把我叫醒来嘿♥咻♥
Now it's just to see if the pin curls have set.
现在只是看看卷发夹放好了没
I thought you liked him doing your hair.
我以为你喜欢他帮你做头发呢
Really?
你是说真的
I look like I'm in the damn touring company of Annie.
我看上就像<安妮>巡演公♥司♥里的一员
It doesn't...
并不是
I mean, it's not...
我是说没有
Let me help you with that hat.
我还是帮你戴上帽子吧
You ever mistake your wallet for a waffle,
你是否曾经把钱包错当成了华夫饼
then accidentally eat your week's pay?
然后不小心吃下了你一周的薪水