迈克和茉莉（2010）

Mike & Molly S04E19

Part 3 Dec. 15, 2020, 2:59 p.m.

but one day, if you work really hard
但如果有一天你十分努力地工作
and you're very good and you never give up,
你也很厉害从不放弃
you're gonna realize
你会发现
that suicide is easier than writing.
自杀比写作更轻松
That is crazy We did good work today.
这太疯狂了我们今天写的内容很不错啊
Yeah, but what about the next day?
但明天怎么办呢
And then the next day?
明天的明天呢
You have to keep feeding the beast.
你得一直不停写下去
I mean, for what?
到底为了什么
To write a great book. Oh...
为了写出一本好书呃
And then they want another one.
那他们还会想要另外一本
Or they don't want one. That's even worse.
又或者他们不想再要另外一本那样更糟
Well, if it's such torture, then why bother at all?
既然你这么煎熬还有什么必要接着写呢
Because I hate them and I want them to love me.
因为我恨他们但又想要他们爱我
I kind of get that.
我有点明白了
Oh, how can you kind of get that?
哦你怎么可能明白
I taught fourth grade!
我教过小学四年级
Why'd you have to bring her here?
你为什么要把她带到家里来
Because I've been with her for 16 straight hours
因为我已经跟她呆了整整十六个小时了
and I wanted to take a shower.
我想洗个澡
I was gonna do it at her place,
我本来打算在她家洗的
but she climbed in there with me.
但她爬进来非要跟我一起洗
I don't like that stuff.
我不喜欢那类女♥女♥的事
I know, Beans. I know.
我知道豆仔我知道
So, what is it you do?
你是做什么的
I work at a funeral home.
我在一家殡仪馆工作
Oh, mortician.
噢殡葬师
Beautician.
美容师
Interesting.
有意思
So if your sister had arrived five minutes later,
所以说如果你姐要是晚五分钟到的话
we probably still would have met.
我们还是有可能见面的
Except I would have been dead, of course.
只不过那时候我已经死了
I thought we weren't supposed to talk about the...
我以为我们不能谈到那个话题
Oh, what's a little suicide attempt among friends?
哦朋友间这个小小的自杀企图算什么
Personally, I'd use pills.
要是我的话我选择吃药
They're clean, easy.
干净简单
Plus, you go out doing something you love.
另外你还能出去干点自己喜欢的事儿
Now, I can't believe
我真是不敢相信
that you've ever thought about ending your life.
你竟然从来没想过要死
With a wonderful marriage
有一个美好的婚姻
and two beautiful daughters,
和两个漂亮的女儿
all living peacefully under the same roof.
全家一起平静地生活在同个屋檐下
Well, we have our moments.
我们也有我们的问题
Especially in the mornings, you know?
尤其是早上起来
Bathroom traffic.
洗手间大战
"Who-who took all that hot water?"
"谁到底是谁用光了热水"
I mean, when you think about it,
有时候你仔细想想
you've given up so much for these girls.
你为这两个孩子放弃太多了
Your life, your privacy, your home.
你的生活你的隐私你的房♥子
When is it gonna be Joyce's turn, hmm?
什么时候才能轮到Joyce享受呢
When does somebody do something for you?
什么时候才能有人为你做些什么呢
I don't see it like that.
我并不那么想
Well, of course not.
当然你不那么想
That's what the booze is for, isn't it?
这就是酒精的用处了对不对
Okay...
好吧
That's enough about us.
聊够了我们家
What about you, huh?
谈谈你自己怎么样
We all want to hear more about the great J.C. Small.
我们都想知道伟大的J.C.Small的故事
Oh, what can I tell you? I don't know, my...
喔我能告诉你们些什么呢我不清楚我
I learned how to drink from my father,
跟我爸爸学会了喝酒
I learned how to curse from my mother
跟我妈妈学会了诅咒
and I learned how to make love from my uncle.
跟我叔叔学会了做♥爱♥
And I'm a Scorpio.
还有我是天蝎座
I knew it.
我就知道
I mean, your sign.
从种种迹象看出来的
Not that other horrible stuff.
并不是其他那些可怕的行为
You are so cute.
你真是太可爱了
You single?
你还单身吗
Why, do you know someone?
怎么了你有好介绍
Yes, I do. All righty!
当然打住吧
Ooh, have you tried that prosciutto?
噢你尝过那些火腿了吗
No.
没有
Yeah, well, do. Do it.
那赶紧去去尝尝
Hey, just to be clear,
嘿澄清一下
I am very happy with my life and my children.
我对我的生活和我的孩子们非常满意
They may be parasites, but I still love 'em.
虽然她们啃老但我仍旧爱她们
Thank you, Mom. Thank you... Mom.
谢谢你妈谢谢你妈
Well...
这个
of course you are, but what about your poor husband?
你是满意了那你可怜的丈夫呢
You've been married, what, two years?
你结婚多久了有两年了
You're practically on your honeymoon.
你差不多还在蜜月期吧
I bet you didn't think you signed up
我猜你一定没想到
for this full house, did you?
娶了这么一个大家庭是吧
Yeah, well, what are you gonna do?
是呢可你又能做点什么
Some women have those yappy little dogs,
有的人养那些叫嚷的小狗
Joyce has yappy little daughters.
Joyce养这些吵闹的姑娘们
And, just so you know, Mike and I are moving out of here
你们要知道只要我和Mike付上首♥付♥了
as soon as we get a down payment together.
我们马上就搬出这儿
Yeah, I'll believe that when he flies.
我信你才怪
Listen, as long as my name's on the deed,
听着只要我的名字还在房♥产证上
my parasites have a home.
我的寄生虫们就有一个家
Uh, I'm your husband. I don't have a say in this?
我是你丈夫我都没权发言
Second husband.
第二任丈夫
Our real daddy is in heaven.
我们亲爹在天堂里
Oh, I am so sorry.
哦我很抱歉
It was 25 years ago, move your hand.
都25年了把你手拿开
Ooh, very protective of the younger, sexy sister.
喔很保护年轻性感的小姨子啊
Interesting.
有意思
You know, even a strong man,
再坚定的爷们
you sit him in front of a piece of cake long enough,
在一块美味的蛋糕前坐久了
he's gonna eat it.
他也会想吃的
Was that a crack about my weight?
刚刚是在讽刺我的体重吗
No, she's saying you want to sleep with Victoria.
不她是说你想和Victoria上♥床♥
What? Ugh!
什么呃
What's wrong with me?
我有什么不好
Not a damn thing.
你都很好
Oh, so the stepfather noticed.
噢所以说继父有想法
What? Ew!
什么呃
You-you creeping on my daughter?
你你竟然觊觎我女儿
No! What...
没有怎么
None of this is on me.
这一切都与我无关
She's the one who always parades around in a towel.
是她总只裹着浴巾到处晃来晃去
I don't even look. Oh, yeah?
我连看都没看过真的
Then how do you know she's wearing a towel?
那你怎么可能知道她只围着浴巾
'Cause I'm always standing in line
因为我总是在排队
for the damn crapper. Oh...
等着用厕所哦
You need to pee?
你想尿尿
Use the drain in the laundry room,
去洗衣房♥的排水道那尿啊
you've done it before.
你之前也那么干过
Gross! I go down there barefoot.
真恶心我光着脚去过那
Careful, 'cause Vince will stare at your naked feet.
小心了因为Vince会盯着你裸♥露♥的双脚
Oh...
哦
Please.
拜托
You put it out there for everybody.
是你到处露给所有人看的
Why do you think I keep buying you robes for Christmas?
不然你以为我为什么每年圣诞都给你买♥♥睡袍
I just kept thinking you were buying me the same thing
我以为你一直给我买♥♥同样的礼物
because you're getting old.
是因为你老了
Hey, I am a young, vibrant woman.
嘿我是个年轻活力四射的女人
With a fantastic body for a broad your age.
身材还很棒跟你这个年龄的比
What are you doing looking at her body? She's my wife!
你干嘛盯着她的身体看她是我老婆