克拉克森的农场（2021）

Clarkson's Farm S02E02

Part 8 Feb. 13, 2023, 12:56 p.m.

There's a womb.
Which is good.
She's fine.
- 它啥都有了？
- 是的它有
She's got all the bits?
[Dilwyn] Yeah, she has.
那到底是什么？
[Jeremy] What the hell's that?
- 是屎
- 我以为你是把手伸进它的阴♥道♥？
[Dilwyn] That's the shit.
[Jeremy] I thought you went
in its vagina.
- 我是通过直肠所以基本上…
- 什么？
[Dilwyn] I did it rectally.
So basically I go in rectally.
我从外面感觉到了子♥宫♥
And I can feel the uterus
from the outside.
- 所以你必须从后门走吗？
- 是的
- So you've got to go up the back door?
- [Dilwyn] Yes.
现在我要把“种子”放进去
这是浸渍剂孕激素
[Dilwyn] So now I'm gonna put
the pred in.
That's impregnating the progesterone.
- 是一种性激素
- 会引起排卵吗？
It's one of the sex hormones.
So this will cause the ovulation
to start?
拿出来的时候会
从而开始下一个周期
Well, taking it out will.
That will start the next cycle.
- 那个要放在它体内多久？
- 一个星期
And how long is it gonna be in for?
- A week.
- OK.
我们开始吧生产三角器要进去了
[Jeremy] Here we go, the triangle
of procreation is on its way.
嗯差不多是这样
[Dilwyn] Yeah. I would have thought so.
[Dilwyn] Wow wow...
好了你走吧
There you go. Go on.
走吧不走对
[Jeremy] Go on! Go on, yes!
终于轮到胡椒了
[Jeremy] Finally it was Pepper's turn.
冷静胡椒你是一头好牛
我喜欢这头
Calm down, Pepper, there's a good cow.
I like this one.
好了它很好
[Dilwyn] There. Yeah, she's fine.
好的把牛放了
Right, release the cows.
我们把它们都赶到这
圈进去喊了一个小时
So we've herded them
all the way round here,
put them in here,
shouted at them for an hour
然后放了它们
它们肯定会想：“为什么？”
and then released them
and they've got to think, "Why?"
看它把尾巴翘起来了胡椒！
[Jeremy] Look, she's holding her tail up.
Oh, Pepper!
我们现在要等一个星期
才能进行人工授精…
[Jeremy] As we now had to wait a week
until the artificial insemination
could happen...
[upbeat music]
准备好了？
[Kaleb] Ready ?
卡莱布和他的兄弟基兰
准备要开始修理栅栏了
[Jeremy] ...Kaleb and his brother Kieron
set about repairing
the cow fence properly...
而我决定把之前
没做的维护工作给做了
whilst I decided to catch up
on some maintenance jobs.
没错现在上升准备起飞吧
Right, now then.
Up, up and away.
从杰拉德房♥子对面
乱七八糟的树篱开始
[Jeremy] Starting with the unruly hedge
opposite Gerald's house.
修剪树篱！
Hedge clipping.
是的
Yes.
真棒
Lovely, lovely.
嗨杰拉德
All right Gerald.
杰狗要高兴死了
The G-dog is going to be dead chuffed
我来帮他整理好这些树篱
that I've been out
and sorted his hedge out for him.
[Gerald] Jesus fucking Christ.
Oh Jeremy!
Christ now turn that machine off
or else it's gonna take that hedge out,
for God's sake.
That wasn't the hedge that...
[indistinct]
[Gerald speaks indistinctly]
搞什么鬼！
[Kaleb] Fucking hell!
他到底在做什么？
What the fuck is he doing?
看他没弄走荆棘
我告诉他从下面开始然后往上
Look at that.
He's missed all the brambles!
I told him to start from the bottom
and then work up.
[Gerald] That's like putting
a tee-shirt on your back
to make some bloody holes...
[indistinct]
If you was a pigeon...
[indistinct]
你去谴责他吧
Here you are, mate, tell him off.
I said...
[Gerald speaks indistinctly]
[Gerald continues speaking indistinctly]
这说明你并不开心？
You're not happy, then?
是的那我被解雇了
Right, well that's me sacked then.
老实说我没想到我做得那么糟糕
I honestly didn't think
I was doing that bad a job.
[lively music]
在迪尔翁到访的七天后
很明显小母牛
[Jeremy] Seven days
after Dilwyn's visit,
it was pretty clear that the heifers
were now on heat.
正在发♥情♥
[lively music continues]
[mooing]
不别这样这很恶心
[Jeremy] Don't do that, it's disgusting!
我知道你们中的有些人在担心
I know some of you
will have been concerned
the other day,
那天迪尔翁兽医把他的整个手臂
when Dilwyn the vet
put his entire arm inside...
塞到小母牛里面
不过不用担心因为第二天早上
inside the heifers, but really,
there's no need to worry
because the next morning
我拍了一张照片
拍得不太好但毕竟是一张
I got a photograph, not a very good one,
but a photograph nevertheless,
迪尼的照片就是那头被他碰了的
of Deeny the heifer who was...
小母牛然后…
touched.
And...
在这张照片中
你看它独自一人走进了分栏器
There's a photograph.
She just walked into the crush
all by herself.
[laughs]
"那个戴手套的威尔士人在哪里？
他在哪里？”
"Where's that Welshman with the glove?
Where is he?
“你站在这挺好的”
If you stand here it's quite nice."
无论如何我们现在必须让它们怀孕
Anyway, we've gotta
make them pregnant now.
来吧奶牛们是时候怀孕了
好吧你们两个
Come on cows, time to be made pregnant.
Well, two of you.
走
Go on. Go on.
就是说要再一次把它们引到分栏器那
Go on.
[Jeremy] That meant once more
herding them towards the crush.
走不
Go on. No, no, no, no.
别搞了！走
Stop it!
Go on.
来吧姑娘们！
[Lisa] Come on, girlies.
你们看到这儿高涨的情欲了吗？
就好像是农场的性派对
[Jeremy] Have you seen
the amount of sex that's going on?
It's like being at a sixth form party,
this is.
真该死你看到了吗？
欲望让它们疯狂
Oh shit, did you see that?
They're being driven mad by lust.
当我们把它们赶入畜栏后
[Jeremy] As we finished
getting them into the pen,
查理、迪尔翁和放牧人蒂姆
带着绅士液体来了
Charlie, Dilwyn and Tim the cowman
arrived with the gentleman juice.
这里面真的全都是精♥子♥吗？
- Is that seriously all sperm?
- No.
- 不里面还有液氮
- 是为了保持低温？
[Charlie] There's liquid nitrogen
in there as well.
- [Jeremy] Oh, so keeping it cool.
- [Tim] To keep it cool.
在再次展示了我新掌握的
放牧技能后…
[Jeremy] After once more demonstrating
my new herding skills...
站住
No, stop.
站住！
Stop.
我们把胡椒赶入了分栏器
好给它注射♥精♥♥液♥
[Jeremy] We got Pepper into the crush
for her semen injection.
- 那是一根管子
- 那是一根管子？
[Dilwyn] That's a straw.
[Jeremy] That's a straw.
I don't know what a straw is.
居然不知道什么才是管子
- 注射器