克拉克森的农场（2021）

Clarkson's Farm S02E05

Part 4 Feb. 13, 2023, 12:58 p.m.

I gave him some of my wisdom.
不是的不会打起来的
There's not gonna be a war.
没有战争
- Oh well, I dunno...
- There isn't.
神秘的梅格
[slow music]
由于我的化肥现在
比埃隆马斯克还值钱
[Jeremy] Since my fertilizer was now
worth more than Elon Musk,
我就有必要保护它们不被偷走
it made sense to protect it
from burglars.
没错就是这里
[Jeremy] Right, here it is.
So if you could give us a hand?
你能帮我们一把吗？
我要请我的安全主管
帮我安装一个高科技警报系统
[Gerald] Yeah.
[Jeremy] Which meant asking
my head of security
to help me fit a high-tech alarm system.
我在油管上看到了这个
[Jeremy] I saw this on YouTube.
And I thought that's just bob-on.
真是太棒了这真是个好主意
It's a really good idea, this.
[Gerald] Everyone shoots a bullet.
Tom has probably got one that
comes out as far as here.
我一直认为你的安全措施非常明智
[Jeremy] And I always think your approach
to security's quite sensible.
Yeah, I don't want
no full-front advance
just meeting great big men
when I come out, you know.
Blokes with axes and stuff.
I don't want a lot of that these days.
不管怎么样我们都不需要再担心了
Whatever that is,
we've no need to worry anymore.
把这个拿掉
So, take this off.
[Gerald] If it's a real damp,
foggy night...
我猜是这样
Oh yeah, I guess.
如果有人闯进来
Now, the idea is, somebody comes in,
它会探测到他们的动作是吗？
it detects their movement, yeah?
然后警笛响起
- Yeah?
- And then a siren goes off.
警报器会触发这些烟雾罐
And the siren triggers these,
which are smoke canisters.
这整个谷仓…
- Yeah?
- So, I mean, this whole barn--
Will be black and covered...
浓度适合的烟雾
- [Jeremy] Properly thick smoke.
- Dense.
你什么也看不见
- Yeah?
- [Jeremy] And you can't see a thing.
The thing is, though, with that big
chalk piece that starts the wars,
and then there's the piece
that'll kill at least twelve people...
[Gerald speaking indistinctly]
Until you've cleaned it all out,
it wants just edge and siding as well,
really.
[Jeremy] Mmm.
[upbeat music]
在给予肥料充分保护后
[Jeremy] With the fertilizer
fully protected,
便到了与凯特比夫妇会面的时间
it was time for a meeting
with Mr and Mrs Cacklebean.
- 这是一个美好的早晨
- 景色很美
[sighs] It's a nice morning.
- 只有一点毛毛雨
- 是的
- [Steph] Beautiful.
- Just light drizzle.
我收到一些令人担忧的消息
而他们是来给我提建议的
[Jeremy] Who'd come over
to give me some advice
on some worrying news I'd received.
我不断收到来自母鸡警♥察♥的短♥信♥
[Jeremy] So these texts I keep getting
from the Hen Police in...
那是谁政♥府♥？
Who is it, the government?
是政♥府♥ 没错
[Paddy] It is the government.
- H5N1
- H5N1
- [Jeremy] "H5N1"...
- 5N1, yeah.
在沃里克郡的某个地方发现禽流感
- "Avian influenza."
- Yeah.
Found at a premises
in Warwickshire.
- 离这43.2公里
- 43.2公里
That's not...
27 miles...
Yeah, 27 miles away.
这有点令人担忧
So it's a bit worrying.
我们如何防止禽流感传到这？
[Jeremy] So how do we stop this lot
getting it?
- 我们得把这些鸡关起来
- 什么？真的吗？
We will have to shut the birds in.
- 彻底关起来？
- 是的彻底
What? Really?
- What, completely?
- Completely.
大约三个月的时间
[Paddy] For about three months.
直到警报解除是吗？
[Steph] Until we've got the all-clear,
isn't it?
直到警报解除
[Paddy] Till we got the all-clear.
该死的
[Jeremy] Shit.
Do they lay less when they're inside?
它们在里面的时候下的蛋会减少吗？
这对它们根本没有影响
[Paddy] It won't make a difference
to them.
因为它们的生活会少了许多乐趣
It will make, 'cause their lives
will be less enjoyable.
你可以通过其他方式
让它们的精神生活更加愉快
No, there's ways that you can make
their lives more enjoyable inside.
必须给它们弄很多垫子
You've gotta make sure
that they've got lots of bedding,
这样它们就可以洗尘浴
so they can dust bathe.
我认为我们应该安装收音机
- I think we should put radios in.
- Some radios.
是的它们可以听一点音乐
Yeah, they can listen
to a bit of music.
- 你这是在犯傻
- 才不是
- [Paddy] Yeah.
- Now you're being silly.
在我们凯特伯里农场
每个鸡棚都有一台收音机
No. At home, Cackleberry Farm,
every shed has a radio.
你有什么我们可以播放的
有声读物吗？它们喜欢那个
Have you got any audiobooks
that we could play them?
They love it.
No. How do you know they love it?
Do they smile?
你怎么知道它们喜不喜欢？
它们会笑吗？
- 跳舞？
- 它们唱歌♥ 它们会的
- They sing.
- Do they dance?
它们不会
- Yeah, they do.
- [Jeremy] No, they don't.
它们小时候听频道1
[chuckles]
They start off with Radio One
when they're young,
少年时期听频道2
move on to Radio Two
when they're middle aged,
老了以后听频道4
and Radio Four when they're old.
[laughing]
我的放养母鸡和放牛业务
因禽流感而中止
[upbeat music]
[Jeremy] With my hen
and cattle mob-grazing enterprise
now halted by bird flu,
那就回牛棚喂新出生的小牛吧
it was back to the cow barn
to feed the new-borns.
你去拿坚果我们给它们吃坚果
[Jeremy] You go and get the nuts.
We'll give them those.
对
Right. We've gotta put
another pen in here.
我们得在这再围一个畜栏
这样你就有一个可以倾诉的朋友
So you'll have a friend to talk to.
And then...
接着…
[alarm goes off]
你不会吧？
Oh you haven't?
什么鬼？
[Kaleb] What the fuck?
[alarm]
你有
[Jeremy] You have.
该死的卡莱布
Oh... fucking Kaleb...
这是什么？
[Kaleb] What was it?
我们安装了系统
会让这个地方完全弥漫烟雾
[Jeremy] We put that system in that
completely fills the place with smoke.
你为什么不告诉我？
[Kaleb] Why didn't you tell me?
我以为杰拉德告诉你了
他是安全主管
[Jeremy] I thought Gerald had.
We put it in this morning.
- 我们今天早上安装的
- 他没有通知我
[Kaleb] Well, he didn't inform me.
你在玩什么？
What are you playing at?
- 该死的
- 我差点吓尿了
[Jeremy] Oh. Fuck's sake.
[Kaleb] I nearly shit myself.
严格来说我们才装了三个小时
[Jeremy] Literally,
we've had it in... three hours.
我希望永远不会…
I mean, I was hoping never-- Oh.
我不行了门在哪里？
I can't...
Where's the fucking door?
[coughs]
[soft music]