克拉克森的农场（2021）

Clarkson's Farm S02E02

Part 7 Feb. 13, 2023, 12:56 p.m.

- 真是个胆小鬼
- 什么？我要继续我的工作！
[Kaleb] Such a wimp.
What do you mean?
I'm carrying on with my work.
[upbeat music]
- 够大吗？
- 嗯让它们一起嘎吱嘎吱
- Is this big enough?
- Yeah.
We don't want them too spaced out.
You want them all crunched together.
- 你这个真的很不错
- 很好
This is quite cool.
You've actually got a good one here.
- 花了多少钱？
- 一万英镑
- Good.
- [Kaleb] How much did it cost?
[Jeremy] £10,000 this was.
- 老天啊！
- 我知道
Fucking hell!
I know, I know.
准备好畜栏后我们就去围捕奶牛了
[Jeremy] With the pen assembled,
we went off to round up the cows.
没想到你会用手杖
Dunno how I feel about you
walking with a stick.
我喜欢这玩意
[Jeremy] I like it.
它让我看起来…
让我觉得自己很有农家风格
It makes me look like a...
I'm starting to feel farmish.
我开始了解关于农村的一些小事
You know, I'm starting to understand
little things about the countryside now.
你只懂小事
That's the problem.
You only understand little things.
我找到它们了
[Jeremy] Aha, I've found them.
我喜欢这样
I love this.
当你靠近它们时它们看起来
一点也不惊讶、害怕或恐惧
They don't look surprised or frightened,
or intimidated in any way
when you approach.
它们只是盯着你看看左边的胡椒
They just stare.
Look at Pepper over on the left there.
它们就像六岁大的孩子
看到有人走进教室时那么盯着看
They're like six-year-old kids
when you walk into a classroom.
六岁大的孩子看到大人走进来时那样
You know a six-year-old kid,
and a grown-up walks in...
不会感到恐惧正是这样
They're not frightened.
Exactly that.
这就是卡莱布对牛的印象
- That's Kaleb's cow impression.
- Ready?
- 准备好了
- 我们开始吧
Here we go.
我们轻轻地绕着它们走
[Kaleb] So let's just gently
walk them round.
- 来吧保持住
- 走乖乖牛们
Come on then, steady.
[Jeremy] Go on, Mooties.
[Kaleb calls the cows] Steady.
- 保持住
- 继续前进
[Jeremy] Go on.
- 迪尔翁！
- 嗯
- Ah, Dilwyn!
- [Dilwyn] Yeah.
它们实际上想进去看
[Jeremy] They actually want to go
in the crush.
我的天啊
[Kaleb] Oh my God!
这很容易我们以前养羊时
没做到这样不是吗？
[Jeremy] That is easy.
We never managed this
with the sheep, did we?
尽管我们把所有的奶牛都围起来了
但迪尔翁只对两只年轻的小母牛
[Jeremy] Even though we'd rounded up
all the cows,
it was just the two young heifers
进行人工授精
that Dilwyn would be artificially
inseminating.
今天只是完成部分的程序
And today was just part one
of the procedure.
- 你要给迪尼和胡椒做？
- 是的我要让它们发♥情♥
So it's just Deeny and Pepper
that you need?
Yeah, I'm bringing them on heat,
basically.
我要在它们的阴♥道♥内
I'm gonna put a progesterone-releasing
intra-vaginal device
放入黄体酮释放装置
into the vagina,
然后再取出来让它们发♥情♥
and then, when we take it out,
that'll bring them on heat and then
you can serve them with AI after that.
然后你可以通过人工授精为它们服务
[lively music]
迪尔翁说完成这项任务最简单的方法
[Jeremy] Dilwyn said the easiest way
of tackling the job
就是让所有奶牛通过马克斯莫斯利机
was to run all the cows
through the Max Mosley machine
直到小母牛过来
until we got to the heifers.
- 去吧你给我进去去吧
- 去吧
[Jeremy] Go on, in you go.
[Kaleb] Go on. Give it one.
- 来吧
- 我像在跟甘道夫一起工作
Come on.
It's like working with Gandalf.
[Kaleb laughs]
来吧
[Jeremy] Come on.
前进继续前进
[Kaleb] Go on then. Go on!
去吧你快给我进去
[Jeremy] Come on, in you go.
不好了它们都逃走了打到头了
No. Now they've all escaped.
Oh, on the head.
我会再把它们全都赶回来过来！
Bring them all round again.
[Kaleb] Go on!
Stop him.
拜托不不是这样的
[Jeremy] Come on. No.
Not that way.
Wrong, wrong...
全都错了
15分钟后
进去！
[Jeremy] Go on. Go on!
- 进去！
- 进去吧奶牛们！
- [Kaleb] Go on.
- [Jeremy] Go on cows!
进去！往那边去
Go on! That way.
进去！
Go on! Go on!
[mooing]
贿赂它们我们已经试过棍子了
现在让我们用胡萝卜
Bribery.
We've tried the stick.
Now we're using the carrot.
它退后了
[Jeremy] Backing up. It's backing up.
现在全退回到来的地方了
Yeah, it's now fully reversed
back where it came from.
到分栏器外面了
They don't like the crush.
- 钱呢？
- 什么？
What about money?
我不知道我现在又冷又湿又难过
- What?
- Oh, I don't know.
I mean... I'm so cold and wet
and unhappy.
我不能…
I can't...
我的牛和我的羊一样不听话
[Jeremy] My cows
are as disobedient as my sheep,
天上下着倾盆大雨
我的鞋子沾满了粪便
it's pouring with rain,
my shoes are covered in excrement.
我不知道为什么我觉得这很有趣
I don't know why I find this funny.
[laughs]
因为你从未在地中海划过船
It's because you've never experienced
boating in the Mediterranean
或者吃过好吃的…
or eating an agreeable pasta...
我们把圈变小抓住那头
Let's just make this a bit smaller.
Grab that one there.
杰里米抓住那头
Jeremy, grab that.
进去
- [Jeremy] Go on!
- [Kaleb] Go on!
进去！
Go on!
好在我们终于让迪尼进入了分栏器
[Jeremy] Mercifully we finally got Deeny
into the crush.
我必须把手伸进去
看看它是不是
So I've gotta put my hand in her,
just to check that she's all there.
现在不行
[Jeremy] I wouldn't do it now.
She's cleaning the... What do you mean?
她正在清洁…你什么意思？
她有子♥宫♥和卵巢
[Dilwyn] That she's got a womb
and ovaries.
听起来像气球一样气球让我恐惧
[Kaleb] That sounds like a balloon,
and I'm terrified of balloons.
- 恐惧这么重的词
- 巨大的恐惧你不懂
[Jeremy] Terrified?
Massive fear.
You have no idea.
- 不敢去有气球的房♥间
- 真的吗？
Wouldn't go in a room
if there was a balloon there.
- [Jeremy] Really ?
- Yeah.
真是吓死人了
Shit scared. Like...
不要告诉别人
Don't tell anyone that.
我们看看它是不是可以
[Dilwyn] I'll see if she's all there.
就像给男性做前列腺检查
但是工业水准的
[Jeremy] This is like a prostate
but on an industrial level.
[Dilwyn] All about...
天…
[Jeremy] Holy mother...
有子♥宫♥ 它很好它没问题