克拉克森的农场（2021）

Clarkson's Farm S01E01

Part 1 Oct. 18, 2021, 1:17 p.m.

[engine revving]
侧面滑入
Sideways in linen.
[tires screech]
多年来这就是我的日常工作
[Jeremy] For many years,
this has been my day job.
-[tires screech]
-[gun fires]
热力来袭！
Going in hard and hot!
但在重要的工作结束后…
[Jeremy] But when
the important work was over...
[tires screeching]
我塞鼻血的棉条掉了一个！
I've lost one of my nose tampons!
…我回归了这里
[Jeremy] ...I came home to this.
这是我在科茨沃尔德的农场
It's my farm in the Cotswolds.
它坐落在古老的石头村庄
Nestling among the ancient
stone villages,
拥有六千亩宁静的开阔土地
it's a peaceful, 1,000-acre haven
of wide open fields,
有小溪
brooks,
瀑布
waterfalls,
树林
woods,
和野花田
and wild flower meadows.
它从远处地平线边的树木
It stretches from those trees
over there on the far horizon,
延伸到那一大♥片♥树林的后面
then it goes behind that big wood,
向下进入山谷再向上越过这里
down into the valley
and then up past here
到那边几公里之外的某处
to a point a couple of miles over there.
从我2008年买♥♥下它开始
And ever since I bought it back in 2008,
都是由一个村里的小伙子经营
it's been run by a chap from the village.
但几个月前他告诉我他要退休了
However, he told me a couple
of months ago that he is retiring,
于是我想到一个计划
so I've come up with a plan.
我要自己来务农
I shall farm it myself.
Every Picture Tells a Story"
by Rod Stewart playing]
[bee buzzing]
[opening theme song playing]
我从没干过这个
I've never done this.
开始耕地
Ooh! Farming happening.
比环线直不了多少！
That's as straight as a roundabout!
绝对不能把我的牌子放在那儿
Oh, that sign of me going up there
is not happening.
我们要放一块牌子这样写
“猜猜是谁种的？
We're gonna have a sign saying,
"Guess who drilled this?
“杰雷米还是卡勒布？”
Jeremy, Kaleb?"
起飞！
[automated voice] Take off!
对
[Jeremy] Right.
我们来赶羊吧
Let's go round up some sheep.
杰雷米你太快了
[woman] Jeremy, you're going
too fast.
哦该死快停下
[Jeremy] Oh, shit. Please stop.
拜托别下雨
Come on, don't rain. Don't rain.
这是因为全球变暖
This is global warming.
还要怪你一辈子都在开赛车
And you racing about all your life
in vehicles.
真是彻头彻尾的胡扯
Just unbelievable horseshit.
看到了吗？它们是金翅雀
[man] See them? They're goldfinches.
真的吗？我其实很开心
Really? It actually makes me really happy.
看啊！我是摩西
Behold! I am Moses.
[gasps] And what the fuck
are you doing up here?
你在这里干什么？
摩西是谁？
Who's Moses?
是个小宝宝
It's a baby.
Ooh. Jeez.
-天啊
-你以前照顾过绵羊吗？
Have you looked after sheep before?
我戳进它的肛♥门♥里了
-[sheep bleating]
-[Jeremy] I think I've got in its anus.
没有
No.
[engine revving]
哦好的！
[Jeremy] Oh, yes!
这是我的野化计划
This is my wilding project.
-哦我的天！
-哦不
-[man] Oh, my God!
-[Jeremy] Oh, no, no, no.
这不是野化这是破坏
This is not wilding.
That's damage.
农用商店-盛大开业
本周六下午1-4点-下个路口右转
这就像福南梅森百货公♥司♥
It's like Fortnum & Masons.
像什么？
It's what?
[engine whirring]
哦我的天我♥干♥了什么？
Oh, my God. What have I done?
Whoa!
-[chuckles]
-[Jeremy sighs]
请留在车里
Stay in your vehicle please.
Stay in your vehicle.
我快60岁了抽过七十五万支烟
I'm pushing 60. I've smoked three
quarters of a million cigarettes.
我得过肺炎如果我感染了…
I've had pneumonia. If I get it...
是啊那就没什么希望了
Yeah, there's not a lot of hope.
[Jeremy whistling]
哦该死
[Jeremy] Oh, shit.
该死
Shit, shit.
韦恩鲁尼死了
Wayne Rooney's dead.
就是这个时刻
And this is the moment.
你歪了一点
You missed a bit.
-哪里？
-看镜子
-Where?
-In the mirror.
-不我没有
-你有
-No, I didn't.
-You did.
-我没有
-你有
-I didn't.
-You did.
那些都是之后的事但现在
[Jeremy] All that is to come,
but right now,
我要开始第一个任务了
it's time to start my first job.
所有任务中最重要的一个
The biggest, most important
job of them all.
在像这片田地一样的
所有大♥片♥田地里种上小麦和大麦
Planting wheat and barley
in all the big fields like this one.
要怎么做呢？
And how do you do that?
不知道说实话我真的完全不懂
No idea. Literally, honestly,
I have absolutely no clue.
我只知道会用到拖拉机
All I do know is it's going
to involve some tractoring.
[theme music playing]
克拉克森的农场
第一章拖拉机
2019年9月
显然我需要一台拖拉机
[Jeremy] Obviously,
to do tractoring I need a tractor.
所以第一天我就去了当地的车行
So, on day one,
I set off to my local dealership.
我喜欢这台看强无敌
Quite like this one.
Look, the Super Major.
强无敌
还有更糟的名字
There are worse names.
萨维尔
我对四个轮子一个引擎的东西很熟悉
As I'm familiar with stuff that has
four wheels and an engine,
在这里本应游刃有余然而并没有
I should have been at home here,
but I wasn't.
所以我向车行老板
帕特里克埃德沃兹寻求建议
So I sought advice from
the dealership's owner, Patrick Edwards.
这台多少钱？
How much is this?
7500 这是我们精通的机型
7,500. That is what we specialize in.
-前面有台引擎
-是
-You've got an engine at the front.
-[Jeremy] Yeah.
有变速箱、后车轴无悬挂
没有花哨的电子装置
You've got a gear box, and a back axle.
No suspension. No fancy electronics.
没有我们修不了的故障部位
There's nothing to go wrong
that we can't mend.
-它马力多大？
-45马力
-What horsepower has that got?
-[Patrick] 45 horsepower.
有点弱
[Jeremy] It's a bit feeble.
它曾喂饱了整个国家
Well, it fed the country.
我知道但那时候人们吃得不多
I know but people didn't
eat very much in those days.
-[Patrick laughs]
-Um...
最强劲的是哪台那台马力多少？
What's the most power,
what's that got horsepower-wise?
那台大约65马力
[Patrick] Well, that would be
about 65 horsepower.
它是这里最强的一台？
And is that the most
powerful one here?
是的
Yes, yeah.