克拉克森的农场（2021）

Clarkson's Farm S02E05

Part 3 Feb. 13, 2023, 12:58 p.m.

- Look at that little face!
看看你的小脸！
Oh, look at your little face!
你是幸运牛你降生在迪丽斯库阿特
You lucky cow.
You've come to Diddly Squat.
干得好妈妈！
Well done, mum!
妈妈看起来很自豪
Mother's looking very proud, actually.
Can cows look proud?
- 奶牛也会自豪吗？
- 会的
母牛产犊与绵羊有很大不同
[Kaleb] Yeah.
Cow calving is so much different
to sheep.
- 就这样掉下来？
- 掉下来然后站起来舔它
So it just fell out?
[Kaleb] Fell out. Stand up.
Licking it off.
这将长成一头小母牛
我们要留下这头吗？
[Jeremy] It's going to be a heifer.
We're not gonna eat this one?
是的我认可我们可以
留下这头让它在牛群中长大
Yes, we'll keep it in the herd to grow.
它在拉屎这是个好兆头
She's trying to have a poo.
That's a really good sign.
拉出来了！女士们和先生们！
[Jeremy] Here it comes!
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's the first faeces!
- 这是它的第一坨屎
- 是的
然后妈妈要把屎吃掉妈妈正在吃
The mother's gonna eat it.
The mother's eating it.
在野外有捕食者
[Kaleb] That's really good!
In the wild, there's predators out there,
she'll clean up after her,
它会把它清理干净
这样捕食者就不会闻到小牛的味道
so therefore the predators
can't smell the baby.
- 真的吗？
- 是啊
- [Jeremy] Really?
- Yeah.
你知道查理几天前
告诉我的那个数据吗？
[Jeremy] Did you hear
the stat that Charlie told me
the other day?
现在人人都说奶牛不环保？
Everyone says cows
are unenvironmental now?
因为你必须种草来养奶牛
Mmm.
'Cause you've gotta grow the grass
to feed the cows,
所以在你吃它们之前
你有两件事要做
so you've got two things to do
before you eat them.
吃掉半头牛
Apparently eating half a cow
造成的环境影响
与一个人飞到澳大利亚相当
is the same environmental impact
as one person flying to Australia.
这不是真的他们不是真的…
- So they're not really...
- No.
每天有多少人飞往澳大利亚？
How many people
fly to Australia a day?
诺瓦克德约科维奇
Well, Novak Djokovic.
网球？
Tennis?
那是个女的吗？
That a lady? A girl?
我错过了第一只小牛的出生
[Jeremy] I may have missed
the birth of my first calf,
但是在接下来的几天里
but then, over the next few days,
我也错过了下一批
I managed to miss
the next batch as well.
老天啊
Oh, for Heaven's sake.
生了一只、两只、三只小牛
One, two, three calves have come out.
我们的问题是
The problem we're having,
我肯定你们想要见证出生的那一刻
I'm sure you'd like to see the birth,
但是牛就…
but the cow just goes...
[coughs]
一头小牛就生出来了
and then there's a calf.
拍摄难度很大
It's very difficult to film.
看
Look.
Oh.
看
[Lisa] Oh look!
嘿小家伙
Hey, little one.
还记得生小羊时
那个慌乱的场面吗？
[Jeremy] Remember all that fuss
and palaver with the lambing?
它们只是咳一下小牛就出来了
So much fuss.
They just cough
and then a calf comes out.
还有四只要出来
We still have four more to come. So...
希望我们能见证那个场面
hopefully we can witness.
[upbeat music]
卡莱布告诉我
可以买♥♥一个设备提醒就要临产了
[Jeremy] Kaleb then told me
you can buy devices that warn you
when a birth is imminent.
于是我立马出发去买♥♥设备
So, I immediately set off to buy some
因为那意味着要去我在世界上
because that meant going
to my new most-favourite shop
最爱的那家新店
in the whole world.
斯托瓦格全国农业供应
我通常不喜欢购物很讨厌
Normally I loathe shopping,
absolutely loathe it.
但在这里我什么都想买♥♥
But in here I want everything.
成熟动物用无血阉♥割♥器（48厘米）
看这个这是户外用品区
Oh, look at this.
This is the outfitters department.
看！这是卡莱布的衣橱
Look, look, look!
This is where...
This is Kaleb's wardrobe.
这是他的庞德街
This is his Bond Street.
让我带你们看看这里各式各样的衬衫
Let me talk you through all the different
shirts you can get in here.
这一件不错吧？还行吧？
There's this one, OK? Yeah?
还有这件
Then there's this one.
还有这件
Then there's...
this one.
还有这件
Then there's...
this one.
这是钢制鞋头吗？
That's a steel...
Oh, is that a steel toe cap?
看这个
Look at that.
该死的
Oh shit.
看看有没有摄像头
Look for the cameras.
专注于手头的工作
[Jeremy] Focusing on the job in hand,
I headed to the cow department,
我去了奶牛区
然后出乎意料地找到了我想要的东西
where I was amazed to find
exactly what I was looking for.
天啊
Oh, heavens.
我不敢相信我找到了这个
No! No, I don't believe
I'm seeing this.
莫考尔
"The Moocall."
所以只要把它放在动物的尾巴上
So what you do is you pop it
on the animal's tail.
然后快要生产的时候
And then when it's about
to give birth,
你会收到这台小机器发出的短♥信♥
you get a text message
from this little machine.
一定是在开玩笑！
You're kidding!
[lively music]
来吧过来
[Jeremy] Go on, go on. There you go.
回到农场
我和卡莱布一起安装好警报器
[Jeremy] Back at the farm,
Kaleb and I fitted the alarms.
所以当它举起它时
[Jeremy] So when she lifts that up,
I'll get a text?
- 我会收到短♥信♥
- 是的
莫考尓就是这个
[Kaleb] Yeah.
[Jeremy] "Moocall." There it is.
然后我们去找查理聊天
[Jeremy] And then we went for a chat
with Charlie
讨论天价的化肥
about the stratospheric rise
in fertilizer prices.
硝基碳纤维
像黄金一样不是吗？真的就像…
[Kaleb] It's like gold, isn't it?
就是黄金
It is literally gold.
How much has it gone up by?
涨了多少？
我们以每吨♥275英镑的价格买♥♥入
[Charlie] We bought this at £275 a ton.
现在它的价格大约是
每吨♥675英镑
And now it's about £675 a ton.
- 我们有多少吨♥？
- 有80吨♥
How many tons have we got?
Er, there's 80 there.
所以那是多少？三万英镑
So what's that?
30,000 quid.
怎么会这么贵？
[Jeremy] Why is it so fucking expensive?
有个家伙叫普♥京♥
There's this bloke.
He's called Vladimir.
[Jeremy] Oh, Put-- Well...
尤其是现在在打仗
Well, especially with all this war stuff
going on at the minute as well.
没想到卡莱布也知道
普♥京♥在制♥造♥混乱入侵乌克兰
[Jeremy] Staggered that Kaleb
knew Putin was making noises
about invading Ukraine,
我把我的智慧分给了他一些