克拉克森的农场（2021）

Clarkson's Farm S02E08

Part 3 Feb. 13, 2023, 12:59 p.m.

[man] I assume we've had
a bit of a spillage.
- 这里需要收拾干净
- 这是英国标准协会认证方案
It's gonna want a sweep-up.
[Jeremy] A quality Kitemark which
requires a farm to be clean and well run.
要求农场保持干净运营良好
如果我们可以关上门
确保密封这就太好了
Right, if we can just close the door up
to make sure it seals up,
that would be great.
当然
Sure.
[pushes button]
对不起我按错了按钮
Oops, sorry.
I pushed the wrong button.
[pushes button]
我真的是按错了按钮
[pushes button]
I really have pushed the wrong button.
Oh?
[pushes button]
[pushes button]
目前没法帮助你
No, can't help you
with that at the moment.
你多久检查一次这些牛？
[man] How often
are you checking the cattle?
- 检查它们？每天
- 是的
- [Jeremy] Checking on them?
- Yeah.
- Every day.
- Yeah.
- 一天两次
- 对
- Twice a day.
- Right.
不它们每时每刻
所在的位置我都知道
No, I know where they are
at any given moment.
奶牛
[Jeremy] Cows?
奶牛
Cows?
它们都在哪里？
Where the hell are they all?
它们可能喝水去了
- They could have gone for a drink.
- [man] Yeah.
是的
没有
[Jeremy] No.
奶牛
[Jeremy] Cows?
这实在是太尴尬了
- [Jeremy] This is really embarrassing.
- Yep.
是的
当检查员离开时
[Jeremy] When the inspector left,
I wasn't 100% sure
我不是百分百确定
自己能否拿到红色拖拉机标贴
I'd get my Red Tractor stickers.
但我拿到了然后第二天
But I did.
卡莱布兴致勃勃地来找我
给我带来了更多好消息
And the next day I was collared
by an excited Kaleb,
who had some more good news.
- 我给你看点东西
- 给我看手♥机♥啊
I've got something to show you.
Oh, phone. Right.
在过去几周里
[Jeremy] For the last few weeks,
whenever anyone got their phone out,
只要有人掏出电♥话♥
我的心就提到了嗓子眼
my heart was in my mouth,
因为我们在拍摄胡椒和这头公牛
because we'd all been on filming duty
with Pepper and the bull,
焦急地观察它们能否融洽相处
anxiously watching to see
if they'd get it on.
丽莎的摄像头
到目前为止这头公牛
已经与胡椒进行了初步聊天
So far, the bull had managed
a bit of drinks-party chat.
但也仅此而已
But that was it.
其余时间它都在其它地方溜达
The rest of the time,
he was swiping right elsewhere.
[groans]
不过我没有放弃希望
Nevertheless, I lived in hope.
- 我有这头公牛的视频为证…
- 不会吧
- I've got a video evidence...
- No?
- 不会吧
- 它跳到了胡椒身上
- Of the bull...
- No?
Jumping on Pepper.
好吧它…那是前戏吗？
Oh, she's not--
No, look, is that foreplay?
- 公牛上了
- 然后…
- Ooh, he's on! He's on!
- Ready? And then...
- 搞定它们开始了
- 什么？
- Done.
- What?
There you go!
- 它没有插入吧
- 它插入了
- He never got it in.
- He did.
如果你需要我可以放大
He didn't!
I can zoom in on, if you want me to.
它没有插♥进♥去
He didn't get it in.
看
Watch.
- 前戏结束它开始行动没有插入
- 插入了
[Jeremy] So, foreplay over.
On he goes. Not in, not in.
- 真的吗？
- 是的你看…
- [Kaleb] In.
- [Jeremy] Is he?
[Kaleb] Yeah, yeah,
look at his little hips moving.
你看到最后它小跳了一下吗？
See that little jump at the end?
- 好吧这是历史上最快的性行为
- 兔子交♥配♥起来更快
[Jeremy] Well, that's the fastest sex
in history.
[Kaleb] Rabbits are faster, aren't they?
它在胡椒体内♥射♥精了
That was him pumping the good stuff
into Pepper.
真是个好消息
That's good news.
He took her virginity.
它夺走了胡椒的初次
上周我看见它做了五次
I've seen him serving five
in the last week.
我看见它做了两次
我还以为它不会对胡椒下手呢
I've seen him do two.
And I just thought,
"He's never gonna do Pepper."
我以为它宁可跟狗做
也不愿意跟胡椒做
Thought he was gonna do the dogs
before he did Pepper.
这太棒了
This is brilliant.
[soft music]
星期三 7月6日
与艾伦见面之后十天过去了
[Jeremy] Ten days had passed
since my meeting with Alan.
今天晚上查理会给议会发送邮件
汇报我们的计划
And this evening,
Charlie would send an email
telling the council of our plans.
然后明天就要疯狂赶工建设餐厅
Then, tomorrow,
the frantic restaurant build,
这是我们成功的最后机会
our last chance of success,
would begin.
要把他放在地上
[Alan] We're gonna lay 'em on the floor,
aren't we?
艾伦把收集到的材料堆在院子里
[Jeremy] In the yard,
Alan had assembled his materials.
托盘很棒这就是你说的回收利用
[Alan] The pallets are brilliant,
aren't they?
That's really what you call recycling,
this is.
但他仍然对日程表不满意
[Jeremy] But he was still unhappy
about the timetable.
我们需要一根魔杖
We need a fucking wand.
什么杖？噢魔法杖
Whose wand?
Oh, a magic wand.
Well, it was your idea, so.
- 可这是你的主意所以…
- 是的但我们都觉得
Yeah, but we always agreed
it was gonna be a couple of weeks,
这需要两周而不是两天
not fucking two days.
所以你会来帮我们吗？
It's all right!
Are you coming up to help us?
- 会的
- 我们把托盘抬起来
Yeah.
[Alan] Let's get them pallets up.
我会把托盘抬起来
[Jeremy] I'll bring these up.
我们早点开始吧
Early. Let's have an early kick-off.
- 什么时候？
- 大约六点
- What time?
- About six o'clock.
- 今天会很辛苦知道吗？
- 知道
- All right.
- Long old day. You know what I mean?
Yeah.
查理的办公室
下午5点30分
我们确认这是一座农业建筑
小于150…
好的
OK.
行了写好了现在…发送
That's it done. Now... sent it.
现在议会知道了
[Jeremy] The council now knows.
所以我有48个小时
把低地谷仓变成一家餐馆
So I've got 48 hours to turn
the Lowland Barn into a restaurant.
[upbeat music]
星期四早上六点
先说重要的
[Alan] First things first.
要在明天把厨房♥搞定
首先要把地板弄好
This job, to get this kitchen
in tomorrow,