克拉克森的农场（2021）

Clarkson's Farm S02E02

Part 6 Feb. 13, 2023, 12:56 p.m.

放下来我们看看水平高度
Just lower that down
and let's see what the levels do.
- 太多了
- 倾斜太多了？
[Kaleb] Too much.
You reckon that's too much of a lean?
我觉得这不行
- I don't think it's gonna work.
- What isn't?
- 什么不行？
- 我们必须在下面放一个混凝土垫
We're gonna have to put
a concrete pad down.
做梦吧
[Jeremy] Dream on.
这个国家里的混凝土
现在都归HS2项目
Every bit of concrete in the country
is currently being used by HS2.
他们在建一条从伦敦经停利物浦
They're building a railway
that goes from London to Liverpool
or Manchester or something,
到曼彻斯特的铁路会快12分钟
about 12 minutes faster.
耗资数十亿英镑
并且用上了英国所有的混凝土
It's costing billions of pounds
and it's using every bit of concrete
in Britain.
谁需要铁路？
I mean, who needs a railway?
我从来没有坐过火车所以我不需要
I've never been on a train,
so I don't need a railway.
- 什么？
- 我从来没有坐过火车从没有
- What?
- I've never been on a train.
Never.
这不可能
- That's not possible.
- Prove it. How...
证明给我看不然…我可以…
你过过我的生活吗？
Have you lived me?
你有我的人生经历吗？没有
Have you been me? No.
我无法反驳
但混凝土这个事我没有说错
[Jeremy] I couldn't argue with that,
but I wasn't wrong about the concrete.
于是第二天
我们决定给水箱换个位置
So the next day we decided
to relocate the water tank
搬到谷仓的另一边
to the other side of the barn.
你成功了
不过顶上还要放东西对吗？
[Jeremy] You've got that
but then there's a thing
that goes on top of it, yeah?
我已经有了解决方案
I think I've worked it out.
首先是要安装水箱顶部的组件
[Jeremy] Job one was to fit
all the components
which go on the top of the tank.
卡莱布建议我用农场里的剪架升降台
So Kaleb suggested I fire up
the farm's scissor lift.
[back-up beeper]
我以前有次站在这个上面…真该死！
I once went up in one of these--
Oh fucking hell!
欢迎来到模块二高空坠物
[woman] Welcome to module two.
Falls from height.
[snoring]
不！
No !
- [Jeremy shouts]
- [Kaleb laughs]
它现在不想让你下来
- [alarm]
- It's not gonna let you down now.
它正在…快住手！
- It's made-- Stop doing that!
- [alarm]
你现在位置很高
[Kaleb laughs]
[Kaleb] Now go up!
不下来它为什么不降下来？
No, down!
Why won't it go down anymore?
- 有我呢再上去
- 滚！
- [Kaleb] I got you, go back up.
- Oh fuck off!
[Kaleb laughs]
去拿梯子
Go and get a ladder.
- 这很好你看
- 这不好！
- This is fine, look.
- It's not fine!
- [clanking]
- [Jeremy] Ow!
我讨厌这个东西
I hate this thing.
- 你肯定你会操作了？
- 是的
- [Jeremy] Are you sure you've got it?
- Yeah, yeah.
你到那头去我来搞定这边
[Kaleb] You get that end
and I'll get this end.
抱怨天气
[Jeremy] Moaning about the weather.
别抱怨了别做讨厌鬼
Stop it, stop being a twat.
Back up.
退一点往前
- 你什么意思？
- 是这样吗？
Forwards.
[Kaleb] What do you mean, forwards?
装上去了不还没有
我要把这个安上去
Is that it?
It's not on yet.
One minute, I've got it.
好了装好了我装好了
There you go, that's on.
I'm on.
- 推
- 等一下我在推
- Come on, push.
- I am pushing.
像男人一样用力推
而不是跟软绵绵的小山羊一样
No, push like a man,
not like some little baby goat.
首先把这个拿掉
Get this off first of all.
Have you...
真该死
Oh fucking hell!
- 你接上了吗？
- 嗯
- [Kaleb groaning]
- You in?
别把我弄倒了
[Kaleb] Yeah.
- Don't knock me off.
- [Kaleb laughs]
- 好了
- 好了我们装好了
- [Jeremy] There.
- There, we're on.
真该死
[Jeremy groans] Fucking hell.
61岁了还不得不做…
你多大？23岁
61 years old, having to do something...
'Cause how old are you? 23.
这是你的节目
- It's your show.
- [Jeremy laughs]
是吗？大家都知道？
[Jeremy] Oh, is it? Everyone get that?
大家都听说了吗？
- Everyone hear that?
- [Kaleb laughs]
凌晨4点6分
[cockerels crowing]
[upbeat music]
现在要确保能向餐厅持续供应牛肉
[Jeremy] It was now time to ensure
a steady supply of beef
for the restaurant,
就要让没有怀孕的母牛怀孕
which meant getting the cows
that weren't pregnant... pregnant.
要给它们插入一些东西
And since this would mean
inserting things in them,
卡莱布说我要投资
一个叫做分栏器的巧妙装置
Kaleb said I'd need to invest
in a contraption called a "crush".
- 牛进去…
- 这边
- So the cow goes in...
- This side.
- 到这里面去
- 是的走进去…
- Goes in there.
- Yeah, walks through.
然后头从这边探出来…
它的头要往哪里？
And then its head come...
Where does its head go?
就像这样探出来
- Oh, it's in there.
- There, look. That comes out, actually.
- 从那个栏杆那里？
- 是的
- [Kaleb] That bar there, yeah?
- Yeah?
进去然后塞到它们的屁♥股♥里
[Kaleb] That goes in here
to jam their arse up.
天啊
[Jeremy] Holy shit...
马克斯莫斯利愿意花一大笔钱
尝试干这个
Max Mosley would have paid a fortune
to have a go in this.
- 牛进来然后把头塞进去
- 什么？
And then that comes in like that
and jams their head in.
- 多少…它重吗？
- 天啊我们需要装载机
What? How much does this weigh?
Is it very heavy?
You need the loader.
事情是这样的
如果要把这个设置好我要半个小时
Here's the thing,
if I'm gonna set this up,
it's gonna take me half an hour.
- 嗯
- 如果你帮忙的话需要一个小时
And then if you're gonna help,
it's gonna take us an hour.
用不了你一个小时
我今天早上要用装载机
- It won't take you an hour.
- [Kaleb] It will.
I'm going to use the loader
this morning.
轻轻地！
[Kaleb] Gently.
- 我把分栏器安置好后
- 这边
[Jeremy] Once I'd got
the crush into position,
我们还得给它建一个附属的畜栏
we had to build the pen
that attaches to it.
准备好了吗？
Ready ?
该死的
Fuck!
真该死
Ow, fucking hell.