巅峰拍档（2002）

Top Gear S22E03

Part 4 May 28, 2021, 11:27 a.m.

如果想让病人好受些
So,if the patient needs to be made to feel a bit better
转到“病人”这边
I switch that to "patient".
如果需要加速，转到“引擎”这边
If I want to go a bit faster, I switch that to "engine"
氮气为引擎提供额外动力
and it diverts the nitrous into the engine,
another several hundred BHP.
氮气通常被用在直线加速赛
Nitrous is the same thing that drag racers use
它们还用作...
to go faster and that they use...
詹姆士展示了他加装的
James then demonstrated the motorised loading bay
电动收容系统
‘he'd fitted to his hearse-bulance.
噢，这速度，太感人了！我在失血...
Oh, the speed, the speed! I'm bleed....
我的大腿动脉！血如泉涌。我要死了！
It's my femoral artery!I'm bleeding out.We're bleeding to death!
血要流光了，就要流光了
It's slowing now, it's not bleeding as quickly.
已经流不动了
It's barely dribbling out now!
选考斯沃斯引擎真明智，詹姆士
It's a good job you've got a Cosworth engine, James
太“节约”时间了，能瞧瞧里面吗？
because you've got a lot of time to make up.
Can we have a look inside?
当然。噢，看里面...
Of course you can.Oh,look it...
只能承载体重极小的病人
It won't take the weight of a tiny,tiny man.
随后，我展示了速度更快的系统
I then demonstrated my much faster patient-loading solution.
噢，不错！放下车轮
Oh, I say! Wheels deployed.
放下车轮
Wheels deploy there.
虽然不想说，但很聪明
Annoyingly, that's actually quite clever.
伸缩后门...跟揽胜一样。没错！
This is a split folding...It's like a Range Rover Porsche.Exactly!
别坐，你已经弄坏一辆车了
Don't sit it on it, you've already broken one tailgate today.
我的天才不仅如此
And my brilliant engineering didn't stop there.
假设驶入一条窄巷
I'm driving down a narrow street
两边停满车，过不去
parked cars are on either side,I can't get through.
变身！什么？！
Clear!What?!
一辆“铲护车”！
It's a ram-bulance!
噢，明白了，和铲雪车一样。老天，这真是...
Oh, I see, I thought it was a snowplough.My God, this is...
纯钢制，十毫米厚。
Sheet steel, ten mil.
很重吧？确实。所以它能升起
Heavy? Very.Hmm.That's why it folds back.
升起来就轻了？不不不不...
Oh, what, cos it's lighter when it's folded back?
No, no, no, no, b...
你对重量分配一无所知吗？50比50配重
Do you know nothing about weight distribution?
50-50 distribution.
还是很重！50比50...
It's still weight!It's 50-50...
争执中，任务书到了
As we discussed my handiwork,a challenge arrived.
“Stig将驾驶每辆车跑一圈
"The Stig will now drive each of your cars around the track
为凸显真实性，赛道加了三个减速带
"which,to make it more real,has been fitted with three speed humps.
你们和病人在后座
"You will be in the back with a patient
比赛中，要把肠子塞回病人体内
"and,in the course of one lap,you will put his intestines back in
挂好吊瓶，插♥进♥导尿管
"insert a drip, and fit a catheter.
完成项目越多、速度越快
"Points will be awarded for speed
获得分数就越多”
"and how much of the medical work you complete successfully."
啥？导尿管是那种插♥进♥小兄弟的管子？
What? Is a catheter a thing that goes up your old chap?
是的！插♥进♥去？是的。不是外面？不
Yes! Up it? Yes.Not on it? No.
哈蒙德第一个出发，病人装上车后
Hammond elected to go first and,once his patient had been loaded
Stig满头疑惑地坐进驾驶舱
a rather bemused Stig took his place at the wheel.
噢，他看起来不太好对吧。他？！
Oh, he's not in a good way at all.He?!
这是位女士。噢，是吗。到底是不是？
It's a girl.Oh, yeah.Oh, no, or is it, though?
从我这看像女性。看看下面
It's a girl from where I am.Just have a look under there.
还是说...？啊！
Is that just a bit of...? Agh!
有那玩意！这是个男扮女装！
There's a thing!It's a ladyboy!
随便了，这是紧急医疗情况
Anyway, it's a medical emergency.
都让开，我要干活了
Get out of the way, I've got to get on with this.
3、2、1...
In three, two, one...
走！
Go!
哦！噢，这真...耶，呃！不该选有轮子的！
Oh-ho! Oh, that's... Yeah, ugh!The wheels were a mistake!
抱歉伙计，我只想把肠子塞进...
I'm really sorry, mate, just try and put your guts back in the...
噢...呃...啊！
Oh... er... Agh!
先插导气管！插♥进♥去
Airway - that's a priority! That goes in here.
啊！他在冲我呕吐！
Agh! Now he's being sick on me!
我满脸是...啊！
I'm covered in... Agh!
别吐了，你这白♥痴♥！
Stop vomiting, you idiot!
这是生殖器。你在屏幕上看见的
This is the willy bit. You probably can't see this on television.
可能是马赛克
This has to go in the end.
尿喷出来了！
Now I'm covered in wee!
注意车速...
Speed...
哈蒙德看起来很不舒服。是的
That would be deeply uncomfortable for Hammond.
I would've thought so.
血袋怎么用？
How do I get the blood out of the bag?
我认为要退后一点。赞同
I'm tempted to move back.Do you know? I agree.
是啊。简直是极品飞车！
Yeah.Cos it is Das Stig!
Stig!
Stig!
来了
There he is.
冲线！
Across the line!
2分17秒的成绩摧残了
The 2 minutes 17 lap had taken its toll
雪佛兰的刹车和哈蒙德医生
on both the Chevy's brakes and Dr Hammond.
天啊！看他。这是啥？
Holy Moley! Look at the state of him. What's that?
急救车护理是个辛苦活。这是啥？！
Being an ambulance man is a tough job.What is that?!
是尿。你的？不
It's wee.Is it yours? No.
接下来，轮到龟速船长急救灵车上场
Next, it was the turn of Dr Slow's hearse-bulance.
3、2、1，走！
Three, two, one, go!
可以开始掐表吗？这也是比赛的一部分...
Should I start the stopwatch now?
Well, I mean, this is part of the...
这部分很费时间啊
Well, it's taking time.
他座椅是固定的？是
Is his seat fastened down? Yeah.
他加了一条导轨
What he's done is take a length of one of those stair lifts.
我想你起步
I think you may have overdone it slightly
过于用力了，Stig
on closing the tailgate, Stig.
你进去，我们帮你关门
You get in and we'll fasten you in.
你成绩估计能载入史册
Your lap time is going to be shocking, frankly.
你们没开始计时吧？不，当然开始了
You haven't started the stopwatch? Yeah.
Course we have!
我还没起步呢！你起步了！这还不明显？
I haven't set off yet! You DID set off!isn't it?
快点！
Hurry up!
出发！
Go!
起步了！终于出去了
He's gone!He's gone now.
这就花了9分半。太棒了
9 minutes 30 to get to there.9.30! That's not brilliant.
能听见我吗，先生，女士？嗯？好的，有呼吸吗
Can you hear me, man, woman?
No? Right,breathing?Possibly not.
进去...
Putting...
急救灵车弯道性能一流
The hearse-bulance coped brilliantly with the corners.
肠子流出来了
That's his guts back in.
但减速带表现就一般了
But less well on the speed humps.
继续！
Keep going!
他能行！
He's going to make it!
他来了
Here he comes.
哈蒙德，快逃命！要死了！
Hammond,run for your life!I'm going to die!
Killed by an ambulance!
冲线！
Across the line!
詹姆士对成绩很不满意
James wasn't best pleased with his lap time.
12分28秒！噢，扯淡！就是这样！
12 minutes and 28 seconds!Oh, get lost!It was!It was.
Top Gear有史以来最慢圈速
It's the slowest lap in Top Gear's history.
最后轮到保时捷上场
Finally, it was the turn of the Porsche.
问题一目了然
And immediately, there was a problem.
很好。他踢到病人了
Good.He's kicked the patient.
闭嘴！
Shut up!
最终，他准备好了
Eventually, though, the ape was in position.
走你！
Begin!
他全神贯注于导管？
Is he focusing on getting the drip in?
还是注视着...？
Or is he focusing on...?
♪ 相信我，相信我... ♪
♪ Trust in me, trust in me... ♪
我勒个去！
Holy mother of God!
嗷！真疼！
Ow! It hurts so much!
你这疯子！
You maniac!
嗷！这蠢货！
Ow! Stupid man!
噢，天啊，到减速带了！
Oh, God, what happens when I go over a speed bump!
我讨厌这感觉！
I don't like this!
他来了
Here he comes.
和惊悚剧《Carrie》一样！
I'm in a scene from Carrie!
生不如死！
I want Josh back from Casualty!
天啊！
God!
冲线！