金色年代

The Goldbergs S04E12

Part 4 Dec. 7, 2019, 8:57 p.m.

你是我的英雄基本上破坏了
You being my hero basically undoes
我生活中所有的好事吗
everything good in my life?
我们将成为滑雪姐妹
Yay! We're gonna be slope sisters.
我去给滑雪靴贴亮片
I got to go bedazzle my ski boots.
是否考虑选一个不同的英雄
Thinking you should have picked a different hero,
他的头伸进过狮子的嘴哦
one who's literally put his head in a lion's mouth?
慢着你是对的
Wait a minute. You're right.
我选择写妈妈
I chose to write about Mom,
我也可以写别人
so I can just write about someone else.
这就对了
Now we're talking.
我会写我自己
I'll write about myself,
我如何在疯狂的"老妈爱死你"中幸存下来
how I survived my crazy "Smother"
成为自己的英雄
and became my own hero.
现在我有点小小意外
At this point, very little surprises me.
谢谢你老爷子你是我的英雄
Thank you, Pops! You are my hero!
给了我写自己的主意
I mean, for giving me the idea to write about myself.
那是
You bet.
老天
Oh, man!
太厉害了
That was awesome!
我知道你没驾照
I know you don't have your license,
但到你开车了
but it's your turn to drive.
亚当
Adam?
原来我们需要老爸
Turns out we would need our dad...
而且比我们预期的快得多
just way sooner than expected.
没想到在这里碰到你
Fancy meeting you here.
很高兴看到在这样寒冷的天气你很暖和父亲
Good to see you're keeping warm on this wintry day, Father.
别我不是你♥爸♥
Bup-bup. Not the dad.
还是这么好笑
Hilarious as always.
说到好笑
Speaking of funny stuff,
你还记得你曾经跟我说过吗总有那么一个时候
do you recall when you told me there would be a time
我会绝望地需要你
I'd come to you in desperate need?
那个时候现在就到了
Well, that moment is now upon us.
开玩笑吗才20分钟
Are you kidding? It's been, what, 20 minutes?
时间飞逝啊对吗
Time sure does fly, doesn't it?
无论你做了什么靠你自己了
Well, whatever you did, it's on you.
你给我一个关于尊敬的教训
Yeah, you're teaching me a lesson about respect.
高尚的目的
Noble goal.
作为回报我愿意教你
In return, I'd like to teach you
汽车平底雪橇的起伏
the highs and lows of car tobogganing,
这是一项横扫全国的娱乐休闲活动
the recreational pastime that's sweeping the nation.
你做了什么
What did you do?
我把亚当弄丢了
I lost Adam.
把我的裤子拿来
Get my pants.
我的打字小猴子
There's my little typer monkey.
你在写什么呢
What you click-clacking about?
还在写你的英雄妈妈吗
Got more to write about your hero mama?
只要稍微修改下我的大学作文
Oh, just making a few tiny tweaks to my college essay.
修改
Tweaks?
不敢相信还能写得更好
Can't believe it gets much better than that.
更好了
Oh, it's better.
第一个修改就是
My first tweak was when I, like,
-全部不要重写 -什么
- threw the whole thing out and started over. - What's that, now?
我的新作文是关于我的内心英雄
Yeah, my new essay is about my inner hero
我如何战胜最大的障碍
and how I overcame the greatest obstacle of all.
我吗
Me?
-这上面写我是障碍 -对
- It says I'm the obstacle? - Yep.
-梦想的摧毁者 -当然
- And ruiner of dreams? - For sure.
-希望的扼杀者 -对
- Strangler of hope?! - Yep.
吸食你人类雪碧的吸血鬼
A vampire draining your human sprite?
错了应该是精神
Oopsie, that is supposed to say "Spirit."
好眼力
Good eye.
原来是为了我去滑雪的事
Oh. This is about me going on the ski trip.
我不去了行吗
Okay, how's about I just sit it out?
请别发这个
Just please don't send this in.
打印
And print.
请停下这可怕的打印的声音
Please stop that horrible printing sound.
我也希望但我按了按钮
I wish I could, but I pressed the button,
停不下来了
and it can't be stopped.
我用更大的声音淹没它
It can if I drown it out.
打印机停下搅拌机就停下
The blending stops when the printing stops.
你想怎么搅都行女士
You can blend all you want, lady,
但我会打印一整天
but I'm print all day long.
贝弗莉亚当在雪地里走丢了
Beverly, Adam is lost in the snow!
出大事了
It's an emergency!
我听不到我在证明自己的观点
I can't hear you. I'm proving a point.
我姐终于写完了新的大学作业
My sister had finally finished her new college essay
讲述她英雄地战胜了她"爱到你窒息的老妈"
about heroically triumphing over her "Smother,"
但我妈在防雪衫里还有一招
but my mom had one last trick up her snowsuit.
你去哪里
Where are you going?
出去
Out.
哪里整个费城全关了
Where? All of Philly's shut down.
我要走去服装连锁店
I'm gonna snowshoe over to the Dress Barn
去看看年度暴风雪大减价
and see about their annual blizzard sale.
暴风雪大减价根本没这事
Blizzard sale? That's not a thing.
吃瘪吧倒霉蛋
Eat my dust, sucka.
宾州大学会知道我是你的英雄
Penn State's gonna know I'm your hero.
慢着回来
Wait! Get back here!
但她们到邮箱的赛跑并不像计划那样
But their race to the mailbox didn't go as planned
因为我们忘了铲人行道上的雪
because we forgot to shovel the driveway.
不别放进邮箱
No! Do not take that to the mailbox.
你敢
Don't you dare.
太迟了你抓不到我
It's too late. You'll never catch me.
回来
Get back here!
金伯格家史上最慢追逐战开始了
And so began the slowest high-speed chase in Goldberg history.
我写了篇更好更伤人的
I wrote a better, more hurtful one.
宾大那些愚蠢的混♥蛋♥们
Those stupid sons of bitches at Penn State
永远不会看到
will never read it.
我比你快点到邮箱就可以了老太太
Not if I beat you to the mailbox, old lady.
我领先了
Ha! I'm pulling ahead!
别想
No, never!
你不是我的英雄
You...are not... my...hero!
不爱丽卡我只剩这个了
No! Erica, that's all I had left,
被你毁了
and you ruined it.
妈这只是愚蠢的大学作文
Mom, it's just a stupid college essay.
为什么要弄得这么小题大做
Why make this the biggest deal in the world?
那篇作文是我唯一的证据
That essay was the only proof I had
证明你依然想要我这个妈
that you still want me as your mom.
拜托不是这样的
Come on. That's not true.
每天你冲我翻白眼
Every day, you roll your eyes at me
你跟我说我毁了你的生活
and you tell me I ruin your life.
我知道你青春期本来就是这样子
And I know you're a teenager, and that's how it goes,
但很伤人
but it hurts.
然后我看到了作文
And then I read this essay.
被提醒有时候
And it was just nice to be reminded
你也会念着我的好这感觉很棒
that you still think nice things about me sometimes.
尽管你有很严重的无法克制冲动的毛病
Look, even though you have real impulse-control problems,
把我摔在冰上
and you threw me down on a sheet of ice,
但不需要作文你也应该知道
you shouldn't need some essay to know
你真的是我的英雄
that you really are my... hero.
你说什么
What was that?
你是我的笨蛋英雄好吗
You're my stupid hero, okay?
我知道我没说过
I know I don't say it...
但如果我能成长为像你这样
...but I would be lucky to grow up
坚强自信热情的人那么我便是幸运的
to be as strong and confident and passionate as you are.
亲爱的
Oh, sweetie.
你已经是这样的人了
You already are all of those things.
我是你的英雄
I'm your hero.
爸
Dad?
你还好吗
You okay?
你是对的雪是自然的武器
You were right. Snow is nature's weapon.