金色年代

The Goldbergs S04E22

Part 2 Dec. 7, 2019, 8:59 p.m.

I'd strike hard and fast with a schmaltzy gift
再加上贝特·米德勒的金嗓子加持
featuring the vocal power of Bette Midler.
我妈看了肯定对我有求必应
It would make my mom say yes to anything.
母亲节快乐妈妈
*我可以飞得比雄鹰更高*
* I can fly higher than an eagle *
*因为你就是我羽翼下的清风*
* 'Cause you are the wind beneath my wings *
你就是我羽翼下的清风母亲节快乐
不幸的是我姐也有一样的计划
Unfortunately, my sister had the exact same plan.
这垃圾根本是拍马屁你不能给她看
This is pandering garbage! You can't do this.
为什么不行
Why not?
因为我也在准备拍马屁的垃圾
Because I'm working on my own pandering garbage
好让老妈同意我去八千公里外读大学
so that Mom will let me go to college 5,000 miles away.
乔治亚州的埃默里大学
Emory is in Georgia.
所以我得在母亲节问她同不同意
That's why I need to ask her on Mother's Day,
因为那天我们拍的马屁分散了她的注意力
when she's all buttered up and distracted.
但我们不能同时利用不诚实的
But we can't both lower Mom's defenses
戏剧性的方式展示爱意来降低她的警戒心
with an insincere, theatrical show of our love.
你得放弃了
Well, you're just gonna have to back down.
你的破事比起大学的重要性差远了
Your dumb thing is way less important than college.
但我什么时候才能再有机会
But when will I have the chance
在我女友的肩膀上擦可可油呢
to rub cocoa butter on my lady's shoulders again?
说实话我从来没觉得你会有机会
Honestly, I can't imagine you ever will.
但话说回来这是我的未来
But still, this is my whole future.
好吧我放弃
Okay, fine. I'll back down.
只是因为你是我姐
But only 'cause you're my sister
我爱你这次让你赢
and I love you, so I'll let you have this one.
你输了笨蛋
And you lose, sucker!
-亚当停下 -你停下
- Adam, stop! ?- You stop!
停下
Stop!
好了各位
Okay, everyone,
欢迎参加《浩劫之后》的紧急大会
welcome to "The Day After" emergency assembly.
首先我向大家保证
First of all, I just want to assure you
不会有事的
that everything is gonna be okay.
才怪
It will not be okay!
在核冬天是无处躲藏的
There's nowhere to hide in a nuclear winter!
教练的意思是
What Coach means is
可能会有核冬天
that there could be a nuclear winter,
但肯定不会发生的
but it definitely won't happen.
直到发生了
Till it does.
不会因为这只是电影
Does not, because it was just a movie.
电影内容绝对会成真的
That will, for sure, come true.
我知道你们很多人害怕
Look, I know a lot of you are scared
总统会发怒按下核弹按钮
that the President is gonna snap, push a button,
把我们烧成灰烬
and incinerate us all,
但我向大家保证这不会发生的
but I assure you, it will not happen.
发生后我会在我的避难所里安全舒服地待着
When it does, I'll be safe and snug in my fallout shelter
你们这些人慢慢变异到处找蟑螂吃
while the rest of you mutants scrounge for cockroaches.
怎么无话可说了吗
What, you got no argument for that one?
不你是对的
No, you're right.
这部电影震撼了我的灵魂
That movie has shaken me to my core.
我有太多的后悔
I have so many regrets.
你还有大概一周时间补救安德烈
You got about a week to fix 'em, Andre.
先从这个开始
Well, let's start with that one right there.
我不叫安德烈
My name is not Andre.
我在大学时这样说
I only said it was in college
是为了让女生们更注意我
to make myself seem more interesting to the ladies.
-说出来 -我叫乔纳森
- Let it out! - My name is Jonathan!
我爱你午餐大婶柏妮丝
And I love you, Lunch Lady Bernice!
你在吗
Are you out there?
你可能在做土豆泥
You're probably mashing potatoes.
老天
Oh, boy.
好了今天就这样吧
Okay, this day is a wash.
大家回家去拥抱心爱的人
Everybody go home and hug your loved ones.
我知道今天放假我应该开心
I know I should be happy to have the day off,
但我真心害怕
but I'm, like, genuinely terrified.
我也是我觉得好无助
Me too. I feel so helpless.
我都还没参加代托纳的派对
I never even got to party in Daytona.
巴瑞绝望地想在核战争中生存时
While Barry was desperate to survive nuclear war,
我利用母亲节作为武器
I was using Mother's Day as a weapon
获得我想要的
to get what I wanted.
你喜欢我的电影吗妈妈
Did you like my movie, Mama?
我太爱了我要压扁你的小脸
I loved it so much, I wanna crush your little face!
突然想到
Apropos of nothing,
我能问一个完全无关的问题吗
can I ask you a totally random question?
随便什么宝贝
Anything, sweetie.
我有个不情之请
Well, I have a really big favor to --
妈
Mom!
我被埃默里大学录取了我想去
I got into Emory, and I wanna go to Emory,
我需要给学校的支票这样我能上学
so I need a check for Emory so I can go to Emory.
母亲节快乐我爱你抱抱
And Happy Mother's Day. I love you, snuggle, snuggle!
太棒了
Aah! Oh, yes!
我的宝贝要上大学了
My baby's going to college!
什么不不不
What?! No! No, no, no, no.
亚当为你姐姐开心
Adam, be happy for your sister.
-今天是大日子 -不不不
- This is a huge day. - No, no, no, no, no!
今天我不是重点你才是妈咪
Don't make it about me. It's your day, Mommy.
不不不不
No! No, no, no, no, no, no!
虽说埃默里远在千里之外
Emory may be a thousand miles away,
但有孩子的爱以及一年飞20次
but with the love of my children and 20 flights a year,
我们可以的
we will manage.
我要去考飞行员执照
I'm gonna get my pilot's license.
妈妈知道还有什么激动的事吗
Um, Mama, know what else is exciting?
杰基邀请我下周末去海边
Jackie invited me down the shore next weekend.
不不
Oh, no, no.
你姐要出门上大学了
Your sister is going away to college.
母亲节有一件这么激动的事就够了
That's enough excitement for one Mother's Day.
但我编了整套踢踏舞动作
But I made up a whole tap routine
在这个特殊的节日欢庆我对你的爱
celebrating my love for you on this special day.
你爱看你的小宝贝踢踢小细腿
You love your little baby boopie tapping his piggy wiggies.
谢谢你妈妈
Thank you, Mama.
母亲节快乐
Happy Mother's Day.
你会付出代价的
You will pay dearly for this.
埃默里埃默里
? Emory, Emory ?
所有人害怕总统会把我们带向战争
While everyone was afraid our president would lead us to war,
我的哥哥要带领他爱的人走向安全
my big bro would lead his loved ones to safety.
-JTP的各位成员 -JTP
- Fellow members of the JTP... - JTP!
-还有我的挚爱兰妮 -兰妮
- ...and the love of my life, Lainey... - Lainey!
-别这样 -对不起
- Don't do that. - Sorry!
我知道大家看完那部可怕的电视电影后
...I know you're all worried about a nuclear apocalypse
都担心核世界末日
after seeing that scary movie on TV,
但我希望大家知道不会有事的
but I want you to know everything will be okay.
我称之为巴瑞地堡
I call it Barry's Bunker.
很遗憾地堡空间有限
Sadly, there's limited room in the bunker,
你们中有人会在外面熔化
so some of you will be left outside to melt
或被世界末日后的僵尸吃掉
or be eaten by post-apocalyptic zombies.
谁走谁留
So, who goes and who stays?
显然你留下因为你是我的漂亮女友
Obviously, you're in, 'cause you're my foxy lady,
但剩下的人要证明自己的价值
but the rest of you much prove your worth.
杰克·施瓦兹你有什么技能
Geoff Schwartz, what skills do you have?
我知道哪些浆果有毒
I know which berries are poisonous,
因为我曾经吃过有毒的
'cause I once ate some bad ones.
超有用下一个裸罗伯
Super useful. Next, Naked Rob.
你有什么技能别说裸着
What skills do you have? And don't say "Being naked."
等下再来
Come back to me.
安迪显然你留下因为你的手指纤小
Andy, clearly you're in, 'cause you have tiny little fingers
适合剥尖果
that are perfect for shelling nuts.
而且你可以睡在抽屉里
Plus, you can sleep in a drawer.
太侮辱人了但活着更重要
Very insulted, but it's more important to live.
马特·布莱德利看来你有麻烦了
Matt Bradley, looks like you're in serious trouble here.
我是鹰级童子军救生员
I was an Eagle Scout and a lifeguard,
我参加仁爱之家活动时
and I learned how to frame a house
学会了搭建房♥子