金色年代

The Goldbergs S04E03

Part 3 Dec. 7, 2019, 8:55 p.m.

-这是真的 -随你说
- It happens! - Whatever.
重点是这个家里
Point is, there's only room
只能有一个人玩假恋人这招就是我
for one George Glasser in this family, and it's me.
战争开始
The battle had begun.
是时候让兰皮成真了
It was time for me to bring Lampy to life.
你确定吗兄弟
Are you sure about this, dude?
对我要将假女友提升一个档次
Yes, I'm taking my fake girlfriend to a whole new level.
吻痕等于证据行动
A hickey equals proof. Engage.
有点痒
It kind of tickles.
这已经够诡异了别说废话雪上加霜
Don't make this any weirder than it already is.
-看起来如何 -看起来像你享了艳福
- How's it look? - Like you got some action.
继续来
Then do more.
我要大家知道我和兰皮是认真的
I want people to know me and Lampy are the real deal.
-兰皮是什么东西 -快给我吻痕
- What's a Lampy? - Just hickey me, already!
这招不可能失败
This cannot fail.
-失败 -我看得出来金戴夫
- Fail! - I can see that, Dave Kim!
吸尘器威胁戳穿我的谎言时
While the vacuum was threatening to blow up my spot,
我爸依然拒绝放弃他的地盘
my dad was still refusing to give up his.
我们要争执多久你放弃吧
How long are we gonna do this? Just give it up.
我先来的
I was here first!
根据停车准则这位置是我的
According to parking rules, this space is mine.
我们都知道涉及到停车时没准则可言
We all know that there are no rules to parking.
看我占的地方比你还多这地方是我的
Look! I'm in more of the spot than you are, so it's mine!
你刚说了没准则
You just said, "No rules,"
你接着又告诉我了一条准则你个白♥痴♥
yet you just told me a rule, you moron!
默里只是一个烂停车位
Murray, it's a stupid parking space!
别这么固执
Stop being so stubborn!
休想我会永远待在这里
Never! I will stay here forever.
有必要我就把这里当家了
I will make this my home if I have to.
真荒谬
That's absurd.
你怎么换衣服梳洗去上班
How would you get ready for work?
我不要工作了我把家搬到这里
I would leave my job and move my family here.
别做个白♥痴♥
Don't be an idiot.
这地方最多能住三个人
This spot can hold three people, max,
全家人住不下
not a whole family!
我会抛弃老婆跟孩子以及我的生活
I will forsake my wife and kids and my life as I know it
就为了这个停车位
just for this parking space!
说这话太可怕了
That is a horrible thing to say--
你老婆就坐在这里
Your wife is sitting right there.
谢谢你莱瑞
Thank you, Larry.
对谢谢你莱瑞这里是我的新家了
Yes! Thank you, Larry, because this is my new home.
-别脱裤子 -要脱
- Not the pants. - Oh, yes, the pants.
别脱
Don't you do it.
感觉跟在家一样
And this feels just like home.
感觉真好
It feels good.
我想继续但这程度太可怕伙计
You know, I like to dig in, but this is next level, buddy.
祝你好运贝弗莉
Good luck to you, Beverly.
看到了吗贝弗
You see that, Bevy?
这就是胜利的样子
This is what victory looks like.
那是演唱会结束的样子
And that's what the end of a concert looks like.
但我们赢得了停车位也算是有成就吧
But we won the space, and that's not nothing.
我的天
Oh, my God.
我的吸尘器计划黄了
My plan with the vacuum sucked,
我唯一的选择就是加注
so my only option was to double down.
我知道我一直在说这话伙计
I know I keep saying this, man,
但这样做我不确定伙计
but I don't know about this, man.
闭嘴金戴夫
Shut up, Dave Kim.
我唯一的选择就是把这些明显的假吻痕
My only choice is to turn these obviously fake hickeys
变成令人信服的彩弹伤痕
into a convincing paintball injuries.
该死的
Oh, balls!
该死的痛死了
Balls! Oh, balls! It hurts.
好痛
It hurts so bad!
下次先警告一下
Next time, warn me.
我觉得出奇不意会好些准备好了吗
Thought it would be better to surprise you. Ready?
更痛了
It hurts worse.
准备好了反而更痛别让我准备
It's worse when you prepare! Don't let me prepare.
回到出奇不意
Go back to the other way.
老天来杯犹太庆典酒
Oh, man! Manischewitz!
抱歉
Sorry!
来杯伏特加鸡尾酒
"Funky Cold Medina"!
真是抱歉
So sorry.
-妈咪妈咪 -大家还好吗
- Mommy! Mommy! - Everyone okay?
我以为是一个女人在尖叫
Thought I heard a woman scream.
可能我的彩弹极端训练
Yeah, probably scared some freshman ladies
吓坏了高一的女生
with my extreme p-ball training.
我不知道你玩彩弹大战
I had no idea you played paintball.
我好喜欢玩这个
It's totally my thing.
我也好喜欢玩
It's totally my thing, too.
我以前总和我的大学女友一起去
I used to go with my college girlfriend,
皮特丝·麦克伯勒森[内含彩弹一词]
Paintsy McBallerson.
想改天和我一起去吗
Want to go with me sometime?
我一直在找战友
I'm always looking for a battle partner.
没问题
Uh, yeah, for sure.
太好了约定了
Great. It's a date.
我的天
Oh, my -- Ow!
爸我最近才注意到
Dad, it has recently come to my attention
妈邀请我16次去看的海滩男孩演唱会
that the Beach Boys concert mom invited me to 16 times
就是拯救生命演唱会
was, in fact, Live Aid.
谁想到啊
How about that?
对的确是谁想到啊
Yes. "How about that?" Indeed.
这是什么鬼东西
What the hell is that?
父亲这是传统的木桩
This, Father, is a traditional mok jong,
外行称之为空手道训练柱
or as the uninitiated call it, a karate training post.
为什么要挡住《洛克福德档案》
Well, why is it blocking "The Rockford Files."
我的怒火是如此纯粹如此势不可挡
See, I have achieved a rage so pure, so overwhelming,
我别无选择只有将怒火发泄在这根木头上
I have no choice but to channel it into this wooden thing
发泄整整三小时
for the next three hours.
要玩全套了对吗
This is gonna be a whole thing, isn't it?
上风车式下风车式
Up windmill! Down windmill!
十字杀
Cross block!
猴子偷桃老虎爬树
Monkey steals the peach! Tiger climbs the tree!
看来不是只有我一个人因为
Looks like I'm not the only one upset
没看到演唱会而生气
about missing their concert.
我是个固执的人我改变不了
Look, I'm a stubborn guy. I can't change that.
你可以改变你会改变
You can change, and you will.
这是不可能满足的要求
It's an impossible ask.
第一步你带我去奇奇餐厅
To start, you're taking me to Chi-Chi's,
我终于可以试下
and I'm finally gonna try
大家都在谈论的热滋滋的烤肉卷
those sizzlin' fa-jee-tas everybody's raving about.
你知道我对墨西哥菜的规定
You know my rule about Mexican food.
做不到
Can't do it.
这才是重点
That's the whole point.
你不吃墨西哥菜
You won't eat Mexican food
是因为你在看费城人比赛时吃了个坏的玉米饼
'cause once you had bad nachos at a Phillies game.
我肚子里跟打仗似的贝弗
There was a war inside me, Bevy.
怪你谁叫你在七月大热天的室外体育场
That's on you for ordering beans and liquid cheese
点豆子加液体芝士
in an outdoor stadium in July.
我永远拒绝吃所有墨西哥菜
I reject all Mexican foods forever.
我们要去奇奇餐厅你会喜欢的
We're going to Chi-Chi's, and you're gonna like it!
我的天
Oh, my God.
乔丹的兄弟会办了超嗨的派对
Jordan's frat threw this sick rager,
我一直玩到黎明
and I was out till, like, dawn.
欧米茄兄弟会的派对永远是最棒的
The best parties are always at Omega Sig.
慢着我表哥布雷特上的是维拉诺瓦大学
Wait. My cousin Brett goes to Villanova,
他是欧米茄兄弟会的
and he's Omega.
自从排骨哥从屋顶上摔下来后
Yeah, I thought they can't have parties anymore
他们就不能开派对了
since T-Bone fell off the roof.
也许不是欧米茄西格是欧米茄贝塔
Maybe it's not Omega Sig. I-It's Omega Beta.
没错我累了
That's right. I'm tired.
欧米茄贝塔是姐妹会
Actually, Omega Beta is a sorority.