金色年代

The Goldbergs S04E02

Part 3 Dec. 7, 2019, 8:55 p.m.

我以为你会像平时一样粉碎我的梦想
I thought you were gonna stomp on this dream like all the others.
-不会这梦想太棒了 -是的
- Nah, it's too good. - It is.
事实上我要去睡觉了
In fact, I'm gonna go grab some shut-eye.
现在才6点半
It's 6:30.
我天一亮就得起来
I'm waking up at dawn.
我和教练要慢跑12英里
Me and Coach are going on a 12-mile jog,
然后我们会吃经典的英式早餐
then we're powering down a classic English breakfast.
-为什么 -他喜欢每天早晨
- Why? - He likes to start each morning
要摄入五千到六千卡路里
with 5,000 to 6,000 calories --
香肠土豆泥腌鱼腰花
bangers and mash, kippers, kidneys,
煎土豆黑白布丁
boiled and fried potatoes, black and white pudding,
三种不同的肉
three kinds of meats.
他妈妈是英国人
His mom's British.
似乎太多了
Seems like a lot.
她不好相处但我喜欢她
She's a handful, but I like her.
总之我睡觉去了
Anyway, off to bed.
我不明白默里
I don't understand, Mur.
你儿子要做体育老师你没意见吗
Are you actually okay with your son being a gym coach?
和平时一样
Just like everything else,
这孩子很快又会追求下一个愚蠢的梦想
the kid will move on to the next stupid dream of his.
如果他没有呢
And what if he doesn't?
相信我他不可能
Believe me, he ain't getting up
在早上5点起床跑步的
at 5:00 in the morning to move his body.
我们没什么可担心的
We're golden.
快跑想象一只豹子在追你
Dig deep. Imagine a jaguar's chasing you.
我们快跑
Let's go.
我好痛苦但我从来没这么开心过
I'm miserable, but happier than I've ever been.
首映当天虽然是约会录像带
It was the day of the big premiere...of a dating video.
但是依然是首映
But, hey, it was still a premiere.
在我开始前我想说几句
Before I begin, I have a few words to say.
韦氏词典中定义"杰作"为
Webster's Dictionary defines "Masterpiece" as --
按播放键
Press "Play."
好的不耽误了
Okay, without further ado,
我为大家献上比尔·路易斯按要求真正的男子汉
I present to you Bill Lewis, as requested, a real macho man.
比尔·路易斯是真正的男子汉亚当·F·金伯格影业
你好我是比尔·路易斯
Hi. I'm Bill Lewis.
我喜欢跳舞流汗开心
And I like to dance, get sweaty, and have some fun.
我已经准备好启航恋爱了
I'm ship shape and ready for love.
嘿我们来建立一段关系吧
Hey, let's build a relationship.
你有坠入爱河的权利
You have the right to fall in love
和比尔路易斯地板瓷砖的比尔·路易斯一起
with Bill Lewis of Bill Lewis Tile and Flooring.
你做什么
Hey, what are you doing?
毁掉这个重新开始
Destroying this and starting over.
但这正是你要求的男子汉
But I gave you exactly what you asked for -- macho.
你♥爸♥是赤膊牛仔
Your dad was a shirtless cowboy,
汗津津的警♥察♥ 皮衣摩托车手
a sweaty cop, a leather-clad biker.
我明白了
Oh, I see it now.
爱丽卡是时候交给我了
Erica, it's time to hand me the reins.
这是媒盒的工作
This is the job for the Yentadex.
这是什么东西
What the hell is that?
每一个媒婆都有一个名片盒
Every yenta has a Rolodex
里面全是她们认识的人中的最佳配对
filled with perfect matches for everyone they know.
系好安全带比尔
So buckle up, Bill.
你的人生旅途就要开始了
You're about to go on the ride of your life.
不不用系我会处理
No, there will be no buckling. I'm handling this.
好了感谢大家帮忙
Okay, I appreciate everyone's help,
但大家停手吧
but I'm shutting this down.
我只是我还没忘记我老婆
I'm just -- I'm not over my wife.
我们都有一个真爱她是我的
We all get one true love, and she was mine.
人一辈子不可能只有一个灵魂伴侣
There is no way you only get one soul mate in life
因为他爱上了别人
because he's in love with someone else,
我就要孤独终老了
and then I'm gonna be alone forever,
我不会让这种事发生在你身上比尔
and I'm not gonna let that happen to you, Bill!
她是个热情的年轻姑娘
Wow. She's a passionate young lady.
说的话很多错了
Got most of her facts wrong,
但她的心是好的
but her heart's in the right place.
两位我需要你们帮忙
Hey, guys, I really need your help.
一人抓我一条腿用力推
Each of you grab a leg and push.
我吃了九根香蕉
I ate nine bananas,
但依然抽筋抽得痛死了
but I'm still cramping up something nasty.
见鬼你把我的香蕉吃完了吗
Damn it, you ate all my bananas?
我正经历真正的运动员的痛
I'm in real athletic pain!
坐下老艾
Sit, Al.
没人要碰那穿着小裤头的腿
Nobody is touching those legs in those tiny shorts.
这是正规的教练短裤
These are official coaching bottoms.
没错裤子紧贴着裆部
Sure, they cinch up the bathing-suit area,
但教练说最终我会达到
but Coach says I'll eventually reach
健康的裆部麻木境界
a healthy level of crotchular numbness.
我的老天爷脱了吧
For the love of God, take 'em off!
你这样以后生不了孩子
You'll never have kids.
体育老师没有孩子
Gym teachers don't have kids.
他们的学生就是他们的孩子
Their kids are the students they teach.
好了体育废话说够了
All right, enough with this gym crap.
坐下《诸神之战》马上播出
Sit down. "Clash of the Titans" is on.
里面有先知你喜欢先知
They've got oracles. You love oracles.
预言家和巫师
Eh, seers and wizards
不适合我新的健康生活方式
don't fit into my new, healthy lifestyle.
我要去做能量奶昔
I'm gonna go blend up a power shake.
有好多纤维素
So much fiber.
身体真的是很神奇的器官
The body really is an amazing organ.
一分两分三分
One point, two points, three points.
四分巴瑞
Four points, Barry.
他在玩什么想象中的游戏
What imaginary game is he playing?
不可能知道
There's no way to know.
他有那么多该死的梦想
I mean, of all his farkakte dreams,
居然最终选择了这一个
this is the one he's going with.
这是一场噩梦
This is a nightmare.
做点什么
Do something!
我会的
I will!
谢谢你见我瑞克
Thanks for sitting down with me, Rick.
很乐意为我传人的老爸效力
Anything for my protege's old man.
在某种程度上可以说我们结婚了
In a way, it's like we're married.
是啊这下就简单了
Yeah, that's gonna make this easier.
事实上巴瑞不会成为体育老师
Uh, thing is, Barry's not gonna be a gym teacher.
什么意思
What's that now?
我想伍迪·艾伦说得最好了
I think that Woody Allen said it best.
那些没用的去教书
"Those that can't do, teach.
那些连书都教不好的去教体育
And those that can't teach, teach gym."
你好大的胆子
How dare you.
你这也算模仿伍迪·艾伦吗
You call that a Woody Allen impression?
这才是模仿伍迪·艾伦
This is a Woody Allen impression.
我正是这样做的
That's exactly what I'm doing.
你得口吃像这样
You got to stammer like -- like this.
多用手势
Use your hands more.
别管伍迪了
Forget Woody!
是这样的
Here's the deal --
不再有体育教育的教育了
No more physical education education!
在我看来
Seems to me you're implying
你是说做体育老师不够好
that being a gym coach isn't good enough.
不我觉得你做的非常棒
No, I think what you do is amazing.
只是我儿子不适合
Just not for my son.
你也看到你这日子过的你明白的
You've seen your life. You get it.
虽说他是你的儿子但他是我的体育儿子
Well, he may be your son, but he's my gym son.
-根本没这回事 -有的
- That's not a thing. - Oh, it is.
根本没这种事
There's no such thing.
全世界最伟大的亲情
There's no greater bond in the world
莫过于教练和他的传人儿子
than between a coach and his boy protege.
我想更伟大的是
I think except for the bond
真正父子间的亲情
between a dad and his actual boy.
愿最优秀的父亲胜出
Well, may the best father win.
就是我我是他父亲