金色年代

The Goldbergs S04E02

Part 2 Dec. 7, 2019, 8:55 p.m.

我懂爱情与浪漫这是我的特长
I know love and romance. It's my jam.
我们来试一下
So let's just give it a shot.
三二一努力表现
And three, two, one, get some!
你好我是比尔路易斯地板瓷砖的比尔·路易斯
Hi. This is Bill Lewis of Bill Lewis Flooring and Tile.
我想寻找一位善良整洁的女士
I'm looking for a nice, clean lady
与我共度时光
to spend my days with.
以前是我老婆陪我
It used to be my wife.
不
Oh, no.
她真漂亮很香
Man, she was pretty. Smelled nice.
身材可苗条了就像影星简·方达
Tight, little body from all the Jane Fonda.
他♥娘♥的♥ 比利你曾经拥有一切
Son of a bitch, Billy Boy! You had it all!
-不 -完蛋 -爸
- No. - Ouch. - Daddy?
有一天她就那么走了
One day she just walked out on me.
她只留下这个护腿套
All she left behind was this single leg warmer.
我戴在胳膊上这样和她亲近些
I wear it on my arm to keep her close.
-这样可不行 -看不下去了
- Not good. - Hard to watch.
见鬼我好想你宝贝
Dang it, I miss you so much, pookie!
太想你了
So, so much!
而且你身材一定丰满起来了吧
Also, you must be stacked.
真是对不起
I'm so, so sorry.
停太棒了我觉得可以了
Okay, cut. Great. I think we got it.
我不觉得
I don't think you did.
爱丽卡的做媒计划进展不顺
As Erica's matchmaking was stalling out,
巴瑞的职业规划则有了转机
Barry's career planning was just revving up.
公♥司♥领导
Corporate leader?!
我知道没想到吧
I know, right?
艾菲告诉我要怎么填
Evy told me what bubbles to fill in,
现在我将成为总裁了
and now I'm gonna be a CEO.
她说我是天生的领导
She says I'm a natural leader.
-坐直 -是亲爱的
- Sit up straight. - Yes, my love.
真是见鬼了
This is bull crap!
现实中不可能有工作可以满足
There's no practical job that will ever meet
巴瑞的三个职业要求
Barry's three criteria for career awesomeness.
一绝对权威
One -- a position of unchallenged authority.
你的拉伸动作完全错了马特·雷默
You're stretching all wrong, Matt Raymer.
你给我做个弓步
I want you to drop into a lunge right here.
这才是下蹲用力蹲下去
That's the quad. Work the quad.
这是身体的引擎室
That is the engine room of the body.
二不要办公桌和正式长裤
Two -- No desk or formal pants.
比赛成不成全看这里
This is where games are won or lost.
就是这样你看什么看
There you go. What are you looking at me for?
三需要有运动技巧
And three -- It requires athletic skill
以及人身恐吓
and physical intimidation.
这也叫胸前传球吗卢克·施密特
You call that a chest pass, Luke Schmidt?
跑圈跑到看见上帝为止
Run laps till you see God.
快点
Shake a leg.
在那一刻
In that moment,
我哥终于知道他的未来是什么
my brother finally knew what his future would hold --
踢球中筒袜闪亮的口哨
kickballs, tube socks, and a shiny whistle.
教练我想做你的运动学徒
Coach, I want to be your athletic apprentice
这样当你翘辫子的那天
so that one day I can take your place
我可以顶替你的位置
when you climb that big rope into the sky.
我明白了拿教练开涮是吧
Ah, I see. Goofing on old Coach, huh?
我们看看你做三千个下蹲伸腿后笑的人会是谁
Well, we'll see who's laughing after you do 3,000 squat thrusts.
不我是认真的
No, I'm serious.
我想教体育先生
I want to teach gym, sir.
我的天终于等到了
My God. It's finally happening.
我要做导师了
I'm gonna be a mentor.
-你在哭吗 -我的眼睛在庆祝
- Are you crying? - My eyes are just celebrating.
给拿去
Here. Take this.
培训从现在开始
Training begins now!
见鬼我弄坏了
Damn it, I broke it!
为什么我的肺这么强壮
Why do I have such powerful lungs?
不这是训练口哨
No, it's a training whistle.
等你准备好就会给你这粒
You'll get the tiny, little ball that makes it work
-让口哨响的小球 -那是什么时候
- when you're ready. - When will that be?
教练知道
Coach will know.
现在开始体育教育的教育
Now let the physical education education begin.
首先喝下这罐芹菜鳕鱼汁
First up, drink this mix of celery and cod.
大口喝孩子大口喝
Glug hard, boy. Glug hard.
巴瑞的新职业打出了全垒打
While Barry hit a home run with his new career,
爱丽卡在做媒上被三振出局了
Erica was striking out at matchmaking.
没有击中球比尔出局了
Swing and a miss. Bill struck out.
他的录像一个回复都没有
Not one response to his video.
这怎么可能
How is that possible?
说实话我从来没见过这么差的反应
Honestly, I've never seen such a negative reaction,
很多录像带只是我穿着不同的服装
and a lot of my clients are just me in different costumes.
肯定有适合比尔的人
There has to be someone for Bill.
这东西保证了会找到的
This thing guarantees a match.
不这上面写的是"包证配对"
No, it says it "Gurantees a match."
根本没这个词
And that's not a real word,
所以不是有法律约束力的合同
so it's not a legally binding contract.
别让我空手离开
Don't make me leave empty-handed.
拜托我得找到一个人
Please, I need to find someone.
爱丽卡
Erica?
你们好你们在做什么
Oh, hi, guys. What you doing?
杰夫来分期付款买♥♥幸运珠宝
Geoff put some charm jewelry on layaway.
你在做什么
What are you doing?
你在参加录像约会吗
Are you video-dating?
什么不是的
What? No, no, no.
我来这里是帮我最好朋友的爸爸找对象
I'm only here to help set up my best friend's dad.
我知道这话说出来
I know when I say that out loud,
听着不好又不真实但真的是件好事
it doesn't sound great or real, but it's both.
不管是什么祝你好运
Well, best of luck with whatever this is.
-恶心 -年轻的爱
- Gross. - Young love.
听着我要为比尔找到对象
Look, I need to find Bill someone.
这将证明我很擅长做这事
It's how I'm gonna prove that I'm good at this.
用比尔拍的录像吗别想
With the tape Bill made? Not a chance.
那我拍个更棒的
Well, then I'll make a better one.
我有可以帮忙的人
And I've got just the person to help.
呆子我要你给兰妮爸爸拍段非常棒的录像
Nerd, I need you to make an awesome video for Lainey's dad.
老天我第一份专业的收费工作
Holy balls! My first professional paid gig!
-我不会付钱的 -依然是专业的工作
- I'm not paying you. - Still a professional gig, though.
-也不是 -我知道怎么拍
- It's really not. - I see it now.
开场镜头是时间传送门
We open on a time portal
路易斯先生冰冷赤♥裸♥的身体被弹向地球
as Mr. Lewis' cold, naked body spills to the Earth.
他在烟雾中站起身像爱情终结者一样
He rises from the smoke like a Love Terminator.
不要裸体和穿越时空
Yeah, no nudity or time travel.
就是让路易斯先生看起来很酷男子汉
Just make Mr. Lewis look cool -- you know, macho.
我们要拍电影了亚当·F·金伯格影业
We're making a picture! An Adam F. Goldberg joint.
为什么加上F
What's with the "F"?
学校还有一个亚当·金伯格
There's another Adam Goldberg at school.
他超敏感的
He's super-sensitive.
我不想引起任何的市场混淆
I don't want to cause any marketplace confusion.
别担心没人在乎你们两个
Don't worry about it. No one cares about either of you.
我不是唯一一个在自己选择的职业中
But I wasn't the only one landing a gig
找到活儿的人
in my chosen profession.
看起来坏了我来修
That looks broke. Let me fix that.
我在练习我的吹哨技巧
Hey, I was practicing my tooting skills.
教练说口哨是体育艺术建立的基础
Coach said the whistle is the foundation from which the gymnasium arts were built.
你就坐在这里让他这样做吗
You're just gonna sit here and let him do this.
挺好挺安静的他说是学校的事
It was nice and quiet. He said it was for school.
是的
It is!
我终于决定了职业道路
I've finally decided on a career path.
-我要做体育老师 -我的天
- I'm gonna be a P.E. Teacher. - Oh, my.
爸你是对的是时候找到我在社会上的位置了
Dad, you're right. It's time I find my place in society.
最能影响社会的莫过于我教年轻人
And what could impact society more than me teaching youth
做低强度锻炼以及跳伞游戏
how to do light exercise and parachute games?
我百分百支持你
I fully support you 100%.
说真的吗伙计
Seriously?! Dude!