此时此地

Here and Now S01E10

Part 3 June 6, 2020, 1:53 p.m.

所以我今天两个儿子都没了
so I've lost both of our sons today.
真是年度好父亲
Father of the fucking year.
操
Fuck!
我不禁在想
I can't stop thinking...
雷蒙生母二十多年来一直都经历着这样的感受
this is what Ramon's birth mother felt for over 20 years...
不知道他在哪
not knowing where he is...
是死是活
if he's alive or dead.
都是我们的错
We did that.
不不是的
No. No, we didn't.
就算不是我们也会有别人领养他的
Someone else would've adopted him,
我们以为是合法的
and we thought it was legit,
因为贝芙丽·米尔斯骗了我们
because Beverly Mills conned us,
因为她是罪犯
because she's a fucking criminal.
显然只是无数罪犯中的一个
Just one of many, apparently.
我们做了生母
What the fuck have we done?
请告诉妈妈我在家/没事
但是现在不想见人也不想谈话
好了雷蒙给我发了短♥信♥
All right. Ramon texted me.
他回家了没事
He's home. He's okay.
我的天
Oh my God.
但他不想和任何人说话也不想见任何人好吗
But he doesn't really wanna talk to anyone or see anyone, okay?
爸我能借你的车吗我想去见纳维德
Dad, can I borrow your car? I wanna go see Navid.
恐怕现在不太好吧亲爱的
I don't think that's a really good idea right now, honey.
我不想干坐在这想雷蒙
Okay, well, I don't wanna just sit here and think about Ramon.
我要受不了这焦虑了
The anxiety is making me sick.
我需要和我男朋友在一起妈
I really need to be with my boyfriend. Mom.
男朋友
Boyfriend?
纳维德真是你男朋友
Navid is really your boyfriend?
什么意思
What's that supposed to mean?
就因为他外表没那么阳刚
Just because he doesn't wear his testosterone on his sleeve
所以他就是同性恋吗
means that he's gay?
-当然不是 -而且我们已经上过床了
- Of course not! - And for your information, we already had sex, so.
-什么 -你们有用套吗
- What? - Did you use a condom?
妈妈好恶心
Mom. Eww.
克里斯汀
Kristen!
他当时可是处♥男♥ 我得走了
He was a virgin! I gotta go.
我需要喝一杯
I need a drink.
我也是
So do I.
杜克
Duc.
我能做什么
What can I do?
好棒
Yes.
过来宝贝好了
Come here, baby. All right.
擦掉了
There we go.
四年是一段很长的时间马尔科姆
Four years is a long time, Malcolm.
我可以做全职
Well... I could go full-time.
他们邀你做全职了吗
Have they offered you?
不我...
No, I, uh...
我是指全职的主要照料人
I meant full-time primary caregiver.
你是说辞掉你的工作
You mean quit your job.
不我是指投入另一份工作
No, I mean commit to a different job...
全职的让你解脱出来
full-time. Free you up.
这也太多了
Okay, that is a lot.
好轮到妈妈了
Yup, it is Mommy's turn.
我们要怎么弥补你少了的收入
Um, how would we make up for... your lost income?
四到五百万
Four to five mill.
只是一个选项
It's just an option.
对你来说是很好的选择
That's a great option for you.
是啊因为照顾她一整天是很轻松的事
Yeah, yeah, 'cause taking care of her all day is really easy.
一点都不辛苦
No work at all.
听我说小艾
Look... Ash...
如果你希望我换一份工作
if you want me to get a different job...
换一份工资更高的我会开始找
Mm-hmm. ...one that pays better, I'll start looking.
我就是觉得让海莉
I just-- I think it's important for Hailey
拥有喜爱自己工作的父母很重要
to have parents who are happy doing what they do,
所以如果这个机会不会带给你快乐
so if this opportunity isn't gonna make you happy,
那就别做我们不会有问题
do not do it. We'll be fine.
天呐
Oh my gosh.
-不要 -好棒
- Oh, no! - Yes!
这次最精彩
That is the best yet.
没错
Yes.
我只是在考虑未来
I just-- I'm just thinking about the future,
保险起见为海莉提供
the possibility of long-lasting generational wealth
持久的财富
for Hailey's safety,
为了我们
for ours.
随你怎么想
I mean, you can think about it all you want,
但未来我们无法控制
but the future's gonna be what the future's gonna be.
瞧我就是害怕这个
See? And that's what scares me.
我们就把她丢在那了她精神不稳定
We just left her there. She was not well.
她当时被恐惧和悲痛压垮
She was-- she was overwhelmed with-with... fear and grief
我知道她有躁郁症
and-and-- and I know she was bipolar,
但当时还没有药那里也更加没有
but then they had no drugs then, and certainly not there.
不是你的错
It wasn't your fault.
-你当年还只是个孩子 -不不不不
- You were just a child. - No, no, no, no.
不在某种程度上我知道我抛下她了
No, on some level, I knew. I knew that I was abandoning her.
我选择了抛下她
I made the choice to abandon her.
我们今晚打给兰斯代尔医生
Let's call Dr. Langsdale tonight...
趁病情还未恶化趁...
before it gets worse, before...
-趁你还没伤人 -什么
- before you hurt anyone. - What?
我不会伤害任何人
I won't hurt anyone. Wh...
我从没伤害过别人
I have never hurt anyone.
如果你这么想为什么不把我送进医院
Why don't you just have me committed, if that's what you think?
发生什么事了
What's going on?
-他是不是 -不是
- Is he-- - No.
-我该留下吗 -不
- Should I stay? - No.
去玩得开心好吗
Go. Have fun. Okay?
记得给手♥机♥充电
Just keep your phone charged.
你在跟那个女孩谈恋爱吗
Are you seeing that girl?
克里斯汀
Kristen.
为什么纳维德宝贝为什么
But why, Navid-jan. Why?
她害你惹上麻烦
She got you in trouble.
你满脸是伤
You're all banged up.
不是吧
Really?
我们怕你法里德
We're afraid of you, Farid.
我们害怕发生在你身上的事
We're afraid of what's happening to you.
这些事发生在我身上是有原因的
What's happening to me is happening for a reason.
如果原因
What if that reason is...
就是惩罚怎么办
simply punishment?
这里
Here.
对吗
Right?
那是很大的痛苦
That's a lot of pain.
旧日的伤痛
Old pain.
可怜的孩子
You poor boy.
杜克
Duc.
我很遗憾
I am so sorry
你得承受这种痛苦
you had to suffer like this...
这么长时间
...for so long.
你可以放下
You can let this go.
将它抛诸脑后
You can be done with it.
等一下等一下
Wait, wait, hold on.
你压到我头发了
You're on my hair.
好了
Okay.
-怎么了 -这行不通
- What is it? - It's not working.
有什么问题
So, what's going on?
-你不喜欢我吗 -我当然喜欢你了
- Are you not into me? - Of course I'm into you.
-我只是... -只是什么
- I just-- - You just what?
我们就做了一次现在就变成理应要做了
We did it, like, once, and now it's expected.
是你带套来的
You brought a condom.
抱歉只是...
I'm sorry. It's just...
-太快了或是因为在车里 -或是什么
- too fast or being in this car-- - Or what?
说出来
Just say it.
我不认为我是这样的人
I just don't... think this is who I am.