此时此地

Here and Now S01E01

Part 1 June 6, 2020, 1:50 p.m.

此时此刻
第一季第一集
她看着像是老墨西哥电影里的人物
She looked like she was in some old Mexican movie,
但她说的不是西班牙语
but she wasn't speaking Spanish.
我不知道她说的是什么语言
I don't know what language it was,
但她说了我的名字
but she says my name...
然后她就把她的脸撕烂了
...and then she just rips her fucking face open.
你比我深奥多了
Wow. Wow, you're way deeper than I am.
我就做梦我不♥穿♥裤子上班
I just dream I'm at work with no pants on.
你硬了吗
Do you have a boner?
梦里还是现在
In the dream or right now?
随便哪个
Either.
很可惜都没有
No, sadly.
你真会挑逗你真会挑逗
You're a tease. You're a tease.
你要是和我在一起你会不知道拿我怎么办的
You wouldn't know what to do with me if you had me.
或许是这样
You're probably right.
你太轻言放弃了
You give up too easy. You give up too easy.
-真奇怪 -什么
- That was weird. - What?
好奇怪我感觉有东西抓住我的头
That was really weird. I just felt like something grabbed my head
把我扭向那边让我看那个钟
and turned me, so that I would look at that clock,
就像它想让我看那个钟一样
like it wanted me to see that clock.
谁想
What wanted you to?
不知道
I don't know.
11:11 是不是有什么意义
11:11, doesn't that mean something?
是吧听上去像是的
Uh, yeah. I mean, it sounds like it should,
因为911 711
right, because of 9/11, 7-Eleven.
对
Yeah.
我裤子在震动
My pants are vibrating.
现在是谁在挑逗
Now who's the tease?
-妈 -亲爱的
- Hey, Mom. - Sweetie.
你今天得帮我个大忙
I need you to do me a big favor today.
-妈把扬声器打开 -我我不
- Mom, put him on speaker. - I-- I don't, uh...
这手♥机♥是新买♥♥的我得
It's this new phone. I-- I have to--
你不知道怎么连上蓝牙
You don't know how to connect to Bluetooth.
所以千禧一代才这么愤怒
Okay, this is why millennials are so angry.
你不是千禧一代的
You're not a millennial.
他们还没有给你们这代取名
They haven't even named your generation yet...
-喂 -不过我倒是有几个建议
- Hello? - ...although I have a couple of suggestions.
什么 "蠢婊♥子♥"
What, "stupid cunts"?
-喂 -雷蒙雷蒙你今晚过来的路上
- Hello? - Ramon, Ramon, on your way over tonight,
麻烦去趟干洗店
I need you to stop by the dry cleaners
把你♥爸♥爸的灰色丝绸休闲西装取回来我想他穿上
and pick up Dad's gray silk blazer I want him to wear.
妈你认真的吗
Mom, seriously?
请别逼我提醒你是谁在帮你交房♥租
Please don't make me bring up who pays your rent.
妈能打开扬声器吗
Mom, can you at least put him on speaker?
你要被开罚单了
You're about to get a ticket!
你想让我带着干洗衣服骑4.5英里吗
You want me to bike four and a half miles with the dry cleaning?
-当然不是 -打个优步用我账号♥
- Of course not. - Take an Uber, use my account.
-够了雷 -嗯
- Okay. Ram? - Yeah.
你能早到半小时吗
Can you come like half an hour early?
我有事要和你说很重要
I need to talk to you about something. It's really important.
为什么不能当着我面说
Why can't you talk about it in front of me?
因为我是我不是你
Uh, because I am my own person who's not you
我有我的界线我们都是真实存在的
with my own boundaries and everything. We actually exist.
可以吗拜托答应我答应我
Can you do it? Please say yes. Yes, yes, yes.
好没问题
Yeah. Yeah. I will. I will.
棒我爱你拜
Ah! Okay. I love you. Bye.
-万一我没和他说完呢 -你说完了
- What if I wasn't done with him? - You were.
-抱歉 -没事
- Sorry. - It's okay.
-我们刚说到哪了 -我们在调情
- Where were we? - Oh, we were flirting...
自从我开始在这上班后我们每天都这样
like we've been doing every day since I started working here.
-对哦 -嗯
- Right. - Right.
你今晚有什么计划
Um, what are you doing tonight?
我5点下班
I get off at 5:00.
我妈妈要给我爸办生日派对
My mom is actually throwing a birthday party for my dad,
我必须去
and I have to be there.
我能去吗
Can I come?
那会很奇怪的
That would be weird.
为什么
Why?
你要让我们用木叉子吃饭吗
You're going to make us eat with wooden forks?
竹子是可持续利用资源世界比我们更大
Bamboo is sustainable. The world is bigger than us.
是啊已经无药可救了
Oh yeah, we've fucked that beyond repair.
现在已经来不及阻止气候变化了为时已晚
It is too late to stop climate change. That ship has sailed.
真是谢谢你了
Thank you for that, by the way.
亲爱的记住
Sweetie, remember,
思想创造现实
thoughts create reality.
妈我们今晚应该都戴上马头
Mom, we should all wear horse heads tonight,
全家人
like the entire family,
然后装作一切正常
but then act like it's totally normal.
要是有人问起就说"什么
If anyone asks us, just be like, "What?
什么马头"
What horse heads?"
你嗨了吗
Are you high?
亲爱的
Sweetie.
妈你该庆幸我抽大♥麻♥
Mom, you should be glad that I smoke pot,
因为我要是不抽的话我会患上躁郁症的
because if I didn't, I would be bipolar,
没开玩笑
and I'm not kidding about that.
亲爱的你的大脑还没长成型
Sweetie, your brain is hardly even formed yet.
你在我这么大的时候抽大♥麻♥吗
Did you smoke pot when you were my age?
我还嗑迷幻药
Ah... I also did LSD,
偶尔还能触发精神病
which can actually trigger psychosis in rare cases.
难道这代表你也该嗑吗
Does that mean you should do it?
也许
Maybe.
你知道我有多后悔抽大♥麻♥
You know how much I regret smoking pot.
肯定是我注意力受损的原因
I'm sure it's the reason for my compromised attention skills.
妈你没有注意力缺陷涣散障害
Mom, you do not have ADD.
-诊断的事就交给我好吗 -好
- Let's leave any diagnosis to me, okay? - Fine.
我是专家
I'm the professional.
你试图做超过一个人能力的事
You just try to do more than one human could possibly do,
你当然承受不住了
so of course you're overwhelmed.
但这不是病不是什么事都是病
But it's not a condition. Not everything is a condition.
一切都太迟了
It's too late for any of it.
我已经过了要小孩的年纪
It's too late for me to have children.
我知道我可以领养但
I mean, I know I could adopt, but...
从精神上讲太迟了
it's too late spiritually.
现在离开卡尔太迟了
It's too late for me to leave Carl,
就算我早知道我想那么做
even if I knew that's what I wanted to do,
因为对我来说
because it's much too late
现在去找一个合适的男人太迟了
for me to meet a man I might actually be compatible with.
因为就算有这样的男人他
Because even if such a man did exist, he's...
也多半已婚上了年纪或者死了
married and old, and probably dead.
可是你还活着莉迪亚
But, Lydia, you're alive.
你就想这样生活下去吗
And is this how you want to live?
惋惜你永远也不会有的虚构生活
Mourning imaginary lives you'll never have?
不
No.
你能改变过去吗
Can you change the past?
不能
No.
过去存在吗此时此地
Does the past exist? Here, now?
不存在
No?
那存在什么
What exists?
现在
Right now?
没错
Precisely.
-现在 -我在想
- Right now. - Okay, I'm thinking.
不现在存在的就是现在
No, right now, that's what exists.
现在是唯一存在的东西
Right now is all that ever exists.
我以前的心理咨♥询♥师跟我说
Well, my old therapist told me that...
哀悼很重要
grieving was important.
是吗什么时候跟你说的
Yeah? When did she tell you this?
我三年前就没再去她那儿了
Well, I quit seeing her about three years ago.
三年的哀悼给你带来了什么
And how has three years of grieving worked out for you?
我的天
Oh my God.
那三年我本可以
Those three years I could've been doing--