此时此地

Here and Now S01E01

Part 4 June 6, 2020, 1:50 p.m.

That'll be 11.11.
你开玩笑的吧
You gotta be kidding me.
洗休闲西装15块
It's 15 for the blazer,
你的账户有3.89元的衣架回收信贷
and then your account has a 3.89 credit for hanger recycling.
好吧
Yeah.
11.11块
11.11.
"那些持续与数字11:11接触的人
"Individuals who are continually contacted
通常会
by the number 11:11
需要完成一些积极的使命
usually have some positive mission to accomplish.
那些使命只有在
A mission that remains a mystery
DNA中某段编程序列被激活时
until genetically programmed sequences
才会真♥相♥大白"
are activated within the DNA."
等等你是...
Wait. Are you--
你是人类进化到下一步的产物吗
Are you the next step in human evolution?
因为我很想知道
'Cause I'd want to know that.
你知道弦论需要11个维度吗
Well, did you know that string theory
否则根本解释不通
needs 11 dimensions or else it doesn't work?
顺便问下我要去哪
Where am I going, by the way?
我父母住在罗尔赫斯特
Oh, um... my parents live in Laurelhurst.
好的你住哪
Okay. And where do you live?
说吧说吧
Come on. Come on.
反正我要冲个澡
I gotta take a shower anyway.
我们可以带着好心情去给你♥爸♥爸庆祝生日
We'll be in a really good mood for your dad's thing.
或许这就是那个我要去
Maybe this is the positive mission
完成的积极使命
that I'm supposed to accomplish.
你活儿真棒
You're doing an excellent job.
真棒
Excellent.
在家工作的连环杀手个体户经营者
你好啊
Well, hello!
这个全世界最棒最聪明的小姑娘
What is the best and smartest little girl in the world
在我家门口干什么呢
doing on my front porch?
小甜心
Oh! You sweet thing.
琪琪要把你吃了
Gigi is just going to eat you up.
把你吃掉把你吃掉
Eat you up. Eat you up.
我特意提前来
I thought I'd come a little early,
想看看有没有需要帮忙的
see if there's anything I can do to help.
总有你可以帮忙的地方马尔科姆
Oh, there are always things you can do, Malcolm.
艾希莉呢
Where's Ashley?
她还在忙工作
She got held up at work.
他们叫我苏碧朵
They named me Subeedo,
没人知道这个非洲名字是什么意思
this African name that nobody even knows what it means.
-和"速比涛"听起来很像 -就是
- Sounds like "Speedo." - Exactly.
上中学时他们叫我"蛋蛋背包"
They called me "Scrote tote" in middle school.
所以在我18岁生日的时候我合法换了个
Yeah, so on my 18th birthday, I had it legally changed
我能想到的最白人的名字
to the whitest name I could think of.
在拍毕业照那天
One picture day...
-她给我穿上肯特布 -是的
- she dressed me in kente cloth... - Oh yeah.
还让我头上戴着艾莉卡·芭朵头上的那种东西
...and put this Erykah Badu thing on my head.
黑人歌♥手
太丢人了
It was so fucking humiliating.
我穿着越南旗袍...
Now, I got the áo dài ...
是的是的
Yeah, yeah.
一种女装
...which is basically a dress,
所以咱们把这学校里唯一的一个亚洲小孩
so let's take one of the only Asian kids in school
送去拍毕业照
and send him to picture day in a dress
穿着裙子让他看起来像
that makes him look like the hostess
亚洲中西结合餐厅的女主人一样
at an Asian fusion restaurant.
糟了真的很晚了我们得走了
Oh shit. It's really late. We gotta get going.
你不会毁了我的车的对吧
You're not gonna wreck my car, are you?
我很稀罕我的车
I love my car.
当然不会
Oh, of course I won't.
我这儿有李施德林漱口水谁想要吗
Got Listerine if anybody wants some.
雷蒙还没把你外套取回来
Ramon is still not here with your jacket.
那我就穿那件黑色羊绒外套
I'll wear the black cashmere one.
亲爱的别这样那件真的不好看
Oh, honey, no. It's really unflattering.
你穿那件灰色的很帅气
And you're so handsome in the gray.
所以我等会儿要给你敬酒
So, I'm gonna make a toast to you--
讲讲我们三十多年的婚姻生活还有孩子们...
30-plus years together, the kids, blah, blah, blah--
然后你发言
and then you'll make your speech.
亲爱的一定要吗
Uh, sweetheart, do we have to?
我真的不想发言
I'm not really up to this speech shit.
格雷格你要满60岁了这是个里程碑
Greg, you're turning 60. It's a milestone.
必须要重视需要仪式
It needs to be marked. It needs ritual.
你蹲在地上干什么
What are you doing on the floor?
我把洗发水掉地上了
Uh, I dropped the shampoo.
希望你没用我的洗发水
Well, I hope you're not using my shampoo.
一瓶22块钱
That stuff is 22 bucks a bottle.
丹麦进口的
It's from Denmark.
去他妈的丹麦
Fuck Denmark.
你知道的我从没带过男生回家
Just so you know, I've never brought a guy home before,
尽管在我出柜后
even though my mom has
我妈就超级想让我带一个回家
been dying for me to ever since I came out.
所以我会很重要吗
So I'm gonna be kind of a big deal, huh?
抱歉
Sorry.
我准备当着所有人的面突然求婚
I'm gonna make a surprise proposal in front of everyone.
-别这么做 -好
- Don't do that. - Okay.
我真的要尿了
I seriously gotta pee.
总有一天我要从这座岛飞走
"'One day, I'm gonna fly off this island
去看看世界其他的海龟
and go see the world.' The other turtles--"
-那是谁 -雷蒙叔叔
- Hey, who's that? - Uncle Ramon.
去抓住他
Oh yeah! Go get him!
到这来到这来到这来
Oh, come here, come here, come here.
你在这我真高兴
Ah! I'm so excited you're here.
她最喜欢你你知道吧
You're her favorite. You know that, right?
当然我也最喜欢她所以正好
Yeah, well, she is my favorite, so it all works out.
海莉这是我朋友亨利
Hailey, look, this is my friend, Henry.
-你好 -你好
- Hi. La, la, la, la, la... - Hi.
这是我姐夫马尔科姆
This is my brother-in-law, Malcolm. Hey.
-很高兴见到你亨利 -我也一样
- Pleasure to meet you, Henry. - Yes, likewise.
洗手间在哪里
Um, where's the bathroom?
-咯吱咯吱 -在走廊尽头
- Tickles. - Oh, end of the hall.
-你真的不怕痒 -顺着广藿香的味道走
- Are you sure you're not ticklish? - Follow the smell of patchouli.
好的
Okay.
-他挺帅啊伙计 -是啊我刚认识他
- He's cute, man. - Yeah, I barely know him.
那你可得及时行乐
You're gonna want to enjoy that while it lasts.
雷蒙你去哪儿了
Ramon! Where have you been?
-你得马上给我来 -我们走吧
- You need to come with me right now. - All right, let's go.
-你答应我你会早点到的 -有事耽误了
- You promised me you would be early. - I know, something came up.
他说他是个连环杀手
He says he's a serial killer.
爱德·朗森
你得屏蔽了这家伙
You need to block this guy.
什么拜托哪有真的连环杀手
What? Come on! What real serial killer
会在Facebook上广而告之的
would advertise it on Facebook?
好吧我又不会见他
Okay, I'm never gonna meet him.
如果我真想约炮我会上TinderIf I wanted to actually hook up, I would go on Tinder,
手♥机♥交友软件
而我并不想
which... I don't.
你真觉得我想见他吗
Okay, do you really think I want to see his face
想象下他看到我这丑女
when the hideous beast that's me
而不是性感美女安琪拉·米尔顿会怎么样
shows up instead of hot Angela Milton?
克里斯汀你一点也不丑
Kristen, you are so not hideous.
哥伦比亚帅哥这么说可真是毫无说服力
Says the beautiful Colombian boy.
我已经接受了成为家里无趣白人妹子的现实
I've made my peace being the boring white chick in the family.
等等
Wait.
我跟你说过
Did I tell you...
我打算去查我的DNA吗
I'm getting my DNA analyzed.
为什么
Why?
因为其中可能
'Cause maybe there's a tiny percentage
有有趣的东西
of something interesting in there.
克里斯汀认真地说
Kristen, seriously,
你用Facebook得小心点
you have to be careful with this Facebook stuff.
那上面有真正的变♥态♥
There are real psychos out there.
我就约到过一次
I actually hooked up with one once.