此时此地

Here and Now S01E07

Part 1 June 6, 2020, 1:52 p.m.

你可以生我气
You can be angry at me.
是吗
Oh, can I?
你花钱找了一个日本妓♥女♥ 你做了你的选择
You paid a Japanese prostitute so you've made your choice.
我要你出去
I want you out!
前情提要
《此时此刻》
我错过宣布名单了吗
Did I miss the announcement?
我入选了
We got one of the spots.
我没有吗
And I didn't?
我入选了
I got it?
天啊
Oh, my God!
我们都要去参加波特兰游戏博览会了
We're both going to the Portland Game Expo.
我们得从基础开始
We have to build from the ground level.
我喜欢预算是多少
I love it. What's the budget?
-这里写着 -拒绝
- It's right here. - Denied.
为整个州设计一个试验计划如何
Design a program for the entire state. Deal?
我觉得你最近有心事
I think something is going on with you lately.
今早有人给我发了一个视频
You know, someone sent me a video this morning.
你不能对危险的人仁慈妈
You can't be kind to dangerous people, Mom.
我很受伤
It hurts me.
我知道这很可怕但尽量别太
I know it's scary but try not to be too--
精神分♥裂♥
Schizophrenic?
我知道你觉得我和艾克舅舅一样
I know you're thinking I'm just like Uncle Ike.
-喂 -她答应了
- Hello. - She said "Yes."
-恭喜你 -我想问问
- Congratulations. - I wanted to ask--
说吧
Go ahead.
存在一种东西把我们和其他事物联♥系♥在一起
There's something connecting us to somethings way stranger
比我们想象的要奇怪深奥得多
and deeper than anything we can possibly imagine.
法里德你有按时吃药吧
Farid... you're taking your medication, right?
我要放弃这游戏
I'm quitting this fucking game.
不你不能放弃
No. You can't quit the game.
博览会是找工作的巨大机会
The Expo is a huge professional opportunity.
但是接下来24个小时
But the idea of spending the next 24 hours
我得解决所有故障和漏洞
crunching down for glitches and bugs...
而我还因为亨利的事感到麻木
while I'm still so fucking numb with what happened with Henry...
更别说我偶尔会看到
not to mention sometimes I see shit
根本不存在的东西
that's not really there.
该死我以后还会好起来吗
Fuck. Am I ever gonna feel okay again?
你会好的雷蒙
You will be okay, Ramon.
你现在就好好的
You are okay.
我相信你
I believe in you.
我希望你想想你的游戏
I want you to think of your game,
尤其是你游戏的艺术性
specifically the artistry of your game,
作为你治疗过程的一部分
as part of your healing process.
里面有很多丰富多彩的图像
It's filled with such rich imagery
我认为很有意义
that I believe is very meaningful.
比如后背裂开的男人
For example, the men with the slashed-up backs.
肉混♥蛋♥
The meat mooks.
我给他们取的名字
That's just what I call 'em.
奇怪的是我发现了那些我在小时候画的画
What's weird is I found these drawings I made when I was a kid.
肉混♥蛋♥ 11:11
The meat mooks, 11:11.
我6岁的时候为什么要画那些东西
Why was I drawing that shit when I was six years old?
肉混♥蛋♥
The meat mooks.
他们是根据以前的历史或文化画的吗
Are they based on any historical or cultural precedent?
不是他们只是
Not really, no. They're just...
他们血淋淋的后背
I mean, their bloodied backs
让他们看上去很险恶但是...
makes them look threatening, yeah, but...
他们的脸背对着我们
they're facing away from us...
好像他们觉得耻辱我们能看到他们的伤口
as if they were ashamed that we can see their wounds,
但他们都有
but they all have them.
-是他们自己造成的吗 -不不是
- Are they self-inflicted? - No, no, no, no.
我一直觉得那里
I always thought it was where
是他们之前翅膀所在的位置
their wings were before they were taken away.
-所以他们是天使 -不不他们只是
- Oh, so they're angels. - No. No, no, no, they're just...
他们只是曾经有翅膀的男人
They're just guys who used to have wings.
不过他们想要再拥有翅膀我知道
They want them back, though. I know that.
墙上的蝴蝶呢
And the butterfly on the wall?
哪只有一百只
Which one? There's a hundred of them.
独一无二的那只
The one that's unique.
你为什么要选那个特别的品种
Why did you choose that particular breed?
因为我觉得那很酷
Because I thought it was cool.
你选它不是因为它翅膀上的11:11斑纹吗
You didn't choose it because of the 11:11 markings on its wings?
什么
The...?
我去
Fuck me.
我的天就是这样的
Oh my god. That's-- that's exactly what it is.
就是这样
That-- that's what it is.
你知道
Are you aware that
其他蝴蝶被分成了9组每组11只吗
the other butterflies are in nine groups of 11 each?
知道但我设计这部分游戏的时候
Yeah, yeah, but I designed that part of the game
比我看到那该死的数字早多了
way before I even saw that fucking number.
你知道
Are you aware...
这栋楼的门牌号♥是11的平方吗
that the street number to this building is 11 squared
这间套房♥的房♥号♥是22乘以100
and the number to this suite is 22 times 100?
我22岁
I'm 22.
你游戏里有100只蝴蝶雷蒙
There are 100 butterflies in your game, Ramon.
等等你去哪
Wait. Where are you going?
我们还有15分钟
We still have 15 minutes left.
波特兰游戏博览会只剩不到24小时就开始了
Yeah, and I got less than 24 hours before PGX,
还有好多工作要做
and there's still a lot of work to do.
回头见弗雷德
I will see you later, Fred.
小心点
Be careful.
我的灵魂失去了安宁
"My soul is bereft of peace.
此时此刻
第一季第七集
我告诉自己我的未来没了
"I tell myself that my future is lost,
我对主的一切期望也没了
"As is all that I hoped from the Lord.
我记得我的痛苦和徘徊
"As I remember my affliction and my wanderings,
苦恼和怨恨
"The wormwood and the gall!
我一遍又一遍地沉湎于这些痛苦
"As I dwell on these sufferings over and over...
我的灵魂在我体内
"My soul is downcast...
颓靡
within me."
这是主的信息
This is the word of the Lord.
神是应当称颂的
Praise be to God.
你好
Hi.
嘿
Hey.
你是迈克尔的未婚妻
You're Michael's fiancée...
艾玛
Emma.
我是博特莱特教授
Professor Boatwright.
我希望你知道迈克尔有多爱你
I hope you know how much Michael loved you.
我知道
I know.
你一定很绝望吧
You must be devastated.
不用举办婚礼我算是松了口气
I'm so relieved I don't have to go through with the wedding.
迈克尔在家的时候完全是另一个人
Michael was a different person at home,
脾气特别暴躁
like total rageaholic
酗酒
binge drinker...
大恶魔
major demons.
进进出出戒毒所
In and out of rehab.
他就是在那发现你的书的
That's where he found your book.
某个冰♥毒♥吸食者给他的
Some meth addict gave it to him.
我来参加葬礼的唯一原因
The only reason I came to this fucking funeral
是迈克尔可怜的妈妈求我来
is because Michael's poor mom begged me to.
可是
But...
如果你对迈克尔
if you felt this way
是这种感觉那你为什么答应他
about Michael, why did... you say yes?
我不得不
I had to.
因为我是天主教♥徒♥ 再加上对怀孕的恐惧
because I'm Catholic, and with the pregnancy scare--
-你怀孕了 -没有我以为我怀了
- You're pregnant? - No. No, I thought I was,
不过是检测出错了
but it was a false positive.
谢天谢地迈克尔会是个糟糕的父亲
Thank God. Michael would've been a horrible father.
你能懂吧你是个父亲
I mean, you'd know. You're a dad.
为人父母很难对吧
Parenting shit's hard, right?
亲爱的教练想让我训练跑步
Hey, babe, coach wants me to run conditioning,