此时此地

Here and Now S01E01

Part 5 June 6, 2020, 1:50 p.m.

等等你多久约一次
Wait. How often do you hook up?
你多久约一次
How often do you?
我才17岁呆瓜我还没约过
I'm 17, dumbass. Like never. Yet.
别评判我我不是在等我的真命
Don't judge me. I'm not waiting for the perfect...
你知道我就是还没找到趣有的人
you know, whatever. I just haven't found anyone particularly interested.
有趣弗洛伊德式错误
Interesting. Uh-oh, Freudian slip.
你今晚特别坦诚
You are unusually forthcoming tonight.
我嗨了我总是嗨的
I'm high. I'm always high.
你是在求助吗
Is that like a plea for help?
天啊不是我喜欢这样
Dear God, no, I love it.
等等你看看这个新的电子烟
Ooh, wait. Check out this new vaporizer.
我看看
Let's see.
我给你买♥♥的这个
I got you this.
对哦抱歉
Oh my... Right. Sorry.
谢谢你
Thank you.
憋着点小子们
Okay, suck it up, boys.
不能让人看出我们有多醉绝对不能
No one can see how inebriated we are. Okay? No one.
兰迪你是杜克的朋友你和我刚认识
Randy, you are Duc's friend. You and I just met.
-我顺路把你们带过来了 -为什么这么说
- I picked you guys up on my way over. - Why?
因为她不想让她老公知道
Because she doesn't want her husband to know
她带了个帅哥来派对
she's bringing a hot boy to the party.
杜克你不会告诉马尔科姆的对吧
Duc, you're not gonna tell Malcolm anything, okay?
当然不会你是我姐姐
Of course not, you're my sister.
他只不过是你的好老公
He's just your incredibly nice husband
又碰巧是我最好的朋友
who happens to be my best friend,
我一点儿也不觉得尴尬
which is not awkward for me at all.
-你结婚了 -是的
- You're married? - Yeah.
实际上这下就说得通了
Actually, that makes total sense.
你什么意思
What the fuck does that mean?
你漂亮聪明超级性感
You're beautiful, smart, and fucking hot.
你当然结婚了
Of course you're married.
兰迪你要么非常体贴
You're very sweet, Randy...
要么就是个彻底的人♥渣♥
or you're a complete douchebag.
你能别说她性感吗
Can you not call her "hot"?
这是事实
It's a fact.
-宝贝你好啊 -妈妈
- Hey, baby! Hi! - Mom!
看看你真好看
Don't you look nice? Look at you.
爸爸把你打扮得真漂亮
Aw, Daddy did a great job dressing you.
某人对挑她的衣服特别上心
Somebody was a little more interested in picking out her outfit
连觉都不睡了
than taking a nap...
所以我不知道她还能撑住多久
...so I don't know how long she's gonna last.
-抱歉我迟到了 -没事
- I'm so sorry I'm late. - Uh-huh. It's no problem.
你一股李施德林漱口水味儿
You smell like Listerine. Mmm.
没错李施德林漱口水让我再检查一遍
Yup, Listerine. Let me check again.
就像一只金毛变成了个男人
It's like a golden retriever turned into a dude.
是吧我觉得她和他结婚是为了惹火我妈
Right? I think she married him to piss our mom off.
他以前是共和党在特朗普上台前
He was a Republican... you know, before Trump.
但她中了头奖
Yeah. But she hit the jackpot.
我们认识吗
Do I know you?
不我想不认识我叫亨利
Um, no, I don't think so. Hi, I'm Henry.
我说得特别清楚不要服务生
I made it explicitly clear there were to be no catering servers--
不不我和雷蒙一起的
No, no, I'm-- I'm with Ramon.
作为他的男伴
As his date?
-对 -真的
- Uh, yeah. - Really?
-当然 -我是雷蒙的妈妈
- Sure. Yeah. - I'm Ramon's mom,
-奥德丽 -奥德丽
- Audrey. - Oh. Audrey. Oh.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
很高兴认识你
Oh, it is such a pleasure to meet you.
天啊我也高兴
Oh my God, a pleasure.
这是我的荣幸
The pleasure is mine.
-过来 -好的
- Come. - Okay.
-我想知道你的一切 -好的
- I want to learn everything about you. - Okay.
...22, 23, 24, 25--
-你能数到多少 -一百
- How high can you count? - A hundred.
你数到一百了
I need to take a picture of you
我要给你拍张照片
'cause you just counted to a hundred.
天啊准备好
Oh my gosh. Okay. Get ready.
我们都是聪明女人
We are smart ladies.
老兄我觉得她今晚不会上我了
Dude. I don't think she's gonna fuck me tonight.
老兄那是我姐姐闭上你的臭嘴
Dude, that's my sister. Shut your fucking mouth.
那她干嘛带我来这里呢
I mean, why'd she even bring me, huh?
她就是喜欢玩火
She just likes to play with fire.
艾希莉喜欢在火边玩
Ashley likes to play near fire,
但是会把握尺度不烧伤自己
without ever getting close enough to actually get burned.
我懂了她老公很能"干"
I mean, I get it. Her husband's very fuckable.
这里的人都好老
Everyone here's pretty old.
这是个60岁生日派对
It's a 60th birthday party.
总有服务员吧
Are there any caterers here at least?
说说这个跟你约炮的神经病吧
So, tell me about this psycho you hooked up with.
超级变♥态♥
It was so fucking creepy.
他做♥爱♥时会做一个表情
He made this face during sex
真的就像个疯子
that literally was like the face of madness.
就这样只是做了个奇怪表情
That's it? He just made a weird face?
他没把我杀了或分尸好像令你很失望
You seem disappointed that he didn't murder or dismember me.
真的很烦人我就
It was really upsetting. I kind of just...
在那之后我就暂停约炮了
put the brakes on hooking up after that.
等会儿你上一次约炮是什么时候
Wait. When was the last time you hooked up?
几个小时前
A couple hours ago.
什么真是个荡♥妇♥
What? A slut.
拿什么软件约的 Grindr[同志交友软件]
What did you hook up on? Grindr?
-不是 -Growlr
- Uh-uh. - Growlr.
-不是 -Bristlr
- No. - Bristlr?
Scruff
Scruff.
-现实生活中认识的 -真的吗
- I met him in real life. - Oh, what?
-太奇葩了 -他叫亨利
- That is weird. - His name's Henry.
-完了 -怎么了
- Oh shit! - What?
-他来参加派对了 -不会吧
- He's here tonight. - No.
对他算是不请自来的
Yeah, he kind of invited himself,
而我一直没拒绝他
and I just never said no.
-所以他床技不错咯 -对啊
- Oh, so the sex was good. - Yeah.
该死把我介绍给他
Well, fuck. Introduce me to him.
行表现得自然一点
All right, just don't be weird.
我不想把他给吓跑了拜托
I don't want to scare him off. Please.
我什么时候不自然过
When am I ever weird?
我有没有告诉过你我超爱看钙片
Wait. Have I ever told you about how much I just love gay porn?
当然说过无数遍了
Yeah, only a gazillion times.
-小艾小艾小艾 -怎么了
- Hey, Ash, Ash, Ash, Ash, Ash. - What?
能抱歉
Can-- Sorry.
能不能把我的名字加在送老爸的礼物上
Can I get in on your gift to Dad, please?
雷
Ram...
拜托了一半多少钱
Come on, how much is half?
-200 -这么多
- Two hundred dollars. - Wow.
-对 -我我可以给50
- Yeah. - I-- I can do 50.
没门
No.
谢谢谢谢
Thank you. Thank you.
-别闹了 -好谢谢
- Stop it. - Okay, but thank you.
老爸
Dad.
生日快乐
Happy birthday.
-真好看 -棒极了
- These are beautiful. - They're great.
专门在意大利为你定做的
They were custom-made for you in Italy.
-艾希莉谢谢 -别客气
- Ashley, thank you. - Welcome.
-还有雷蒙 -还有雷蒙
- And Ramon. - And Ramon.
-谢谢伙计 -老爸生日快乐
- Thanks, buddy. - Happy birthday, Dad.
-老爸 -你的礼物我还在做
- Dad. - Yeah, I'm still making your gift.
等不及要收到你的礼物了
I can't wait to see what it is.
该死
Oh fuck.
他在和老妈说话
He's talking to Mom.
雷他超性感的
Oh yeah, Ram, he is uber hot.
我最好在老妈活吞了他之前
I better go rescue him before she unhinges her jaw
-救出他 -对
- and swallows him whole. - Okay.
我曾经是一名心理咨♥询♥师