十三个原因

13 Reasons Why S02E13

Part 1 Sept. 30, 2019, 10:27 a.m.

我想了很久今天该说什么
I thought a long, long time about what to say today.
该如何致敬但也说出真话
How to pay tribute, but also tell the truth.
想到我的行为
It truly hurts me to think that
给任何人造成了情感伤害真的令我心痛
my actions have caused anyone emotional distress.
当我想到我可能造成的伤痛
When I think of the pain that I may have caused, I-I just...
我觉得很糟糕
Well, I feel awful.
我每天都希望能回到过去
Every day, I wish that I could go back in time.
我习惯了一种派对和乱搞的文化
I was used to a certain culture of partying and hookups,
我们很多人从未质疑过它
and many of us never questioned it,
但现在该去质疑它了
but it is time to question it.
我知道我必须做出表率
And I know that I need to be the one to set an example.
我每天都在努力变得更好
I'm... I'm trying every day to be a better man,
成为我父母教育我做的那种人
to be the man that my parents raised me to be.
也给自♥由♥高中带来积极的影响
And to be a positive influence at Liberty High.
我真诚地希望您会允许我去这么做
It is my sincerest hope that you will allow me to do so.
谢谢阁下
Thank you, sir.
郡是否接受这番认罪
Does the county accept the allocution?
我们接受法官大人
We do, Your Honor.
判刑之前
Prior to sentencing,
被害人想
the victim would like to
行驶发表陈述的权利
exercise her right to make her own statement.
请吧
Proceed.
我得承认
I have to admit,
我被邀请今天讲话时我并不想来讲
when I was asked to speak today, I didn't want to.
站在这么多人面前
To stand up in front of all these people.
但这是汉娜应得的
But it's what Hannah deserves.
法官大人感谢你给我机会对庭上讲话
Your Honor, thank you for this opportunity to address the court.
如果可以我陈述的第一部分
If it's all right, for the first part of my statement,
我想直接对被告说
I'd like to address the defendant directly.
-请吧 -何不呢
- Go right ahead. - Why not?
9月的第一个周末我父母不在
The first weekend in September, my parents were out of town
我弟弟们去了爷爷奶奶家
and my little brothers were at their grandparents'.
我想办场派对
I wanted to host a party
因为我觉得一个受欢迎的拉拉队员该做这种事
like I thought a popular cheerleader should.
我男朋友也去了
My boyfriend was there.
你的朋友贾斯汀
Your friend Justin.
我们喝酒了
We had been drinking.
我们决定去我房♥间里
We decided to go up to my room.
我记得跟他亲吻
I remember making out with him.
然后
And then I...
然后我开始睡着了或者昏过去了
And then I started to fall asleep or... or pass out.
我记得想着
I just... I remember thinking
我就闭会儿眼
that I just needed to close my eyes for a few minutes.
然后他
Then he...
然后他出了房♥间
Then he walked out of the room.
然后我记得被你拉下我内♥裤♥的动作惊醒
And then I remember waking up to you pulling off my underwear.
我记得感觉到你把自己推进了我的身体里
I remember feeling you push yourself inside of me.
我或许记不得所有细节
I may not remember all of the details,
但我绝不会忘记那彻骨的恐惧
but I will never forget the sheer terror
感觉到你的身体压在我身上
of feeling your weight on top of me,
觉得不能呼吸
of not being able to breathe.
我睁开眼睛时热浴盆里只有我和他
When I opened my eyes, I was alone in the hot tub with him,
还有
and there was...
他看我的方式他眼神里有点什么
The way he looked at me, there was something in his eyes.
让我感到害怕
And I was afraid.
我想慢下来他却叫我别只撩不干
I wanted to slow down, but he told me not to be a tease.
他把我推倒在了沙发上
And he pushed me down on the couch
说很高兴我一直等着他
and said he was glad I had waited for him.
然后他拉下我的牛仔裤然后我的内♥裤♥
And then he pulled off my jeans and then my underwear.
他说如果我多展示我的身体
And he said that if I showed my body better,
大家就不会当我是女同性恋了
people wouldn't think I was a lesbian.
他用的是另一个词
He used a different word.
然后他抓住了我大腿内侧
And then he grabbed me on the inside of my thigh.
那时就只剩我们俩他抱起了我
At that moment, we were left alone, and he picked me up.
他就那么抱起了我把我抗到了篱笆后面
He just picked me up and carried me behind the fence.
他躺在了我身上开始脱我的裤子
And he lay down on top of me and started to take my pants off.
我挣扎了
I fought and I fought,
但他18了而我只有12
but he was 18 and I was 12.
我后来才知道这个保安名声不好
I found out later this guard had a reputation.
他从我床上起来走出去后
When he got up from my bed and left,
我室友翻过身来
my roommate rolled over
说大部分女孩都有这种经历
and told me it happened to most of the girls.
我当时是第二年的律师
I was a second-year associate.
他请我去他酒店房♥间开策略会议
He invited me to a strategy meeting in his hotel room.
他穿着浴袍开了门
He answered the door in his bathrobe.
我一整晚都在坚持我们只准备案子
I spent the evening insisting we work on the case.
到了年底我被解雇了
At the end of that year, I was let go.
我为这家做了大概两年的保姆了
I had been babysitting for this family for, I guess, two years.
他是我的少年牧师
He was my youth pastor.
我的表亲
My second cousin.
法官大人我离开法庭后
Your Honor, when we leave this courtroom,
布莱斯·沃克
Bryce Walker gets to leave
可以认定自己只是找错了做♥爱♥对象
convinced that he chose the wrong girl to have sex with.
而我今后则要一直提防
I get to leave constantly looking over my shoulder
伪装成受欢迎孩子的禽兽
for monsters dressed up as the popular kid,
永远担惊受怕把每个男孩都往坏处想
constantly on edge and assuming the worst in every boy.
你今天的判刑
The sentence you decide today
能让布莱斯·沃克知道他做错了什么
can tell Bryce Walker what he did was wrong.
也能让每个像他那样的男孩男人都知道
It can say that to every boy, every man who behaves like he does.
也能让我这样的受害者知道
And it can say to victims like me
我们的故事是重要的
that our story matters.
谢谢
Thank you.
检方提出了刑期建议
Prosecution has put forth a sentencing recommendation.
辩方还有什么要说的吗
Does the defense have anything to contribute?
法官大人这是非常不幸的事件
Your Honor, this is a terribly unfortunate event.
两个年轻人的生活被永远改变了
And two young lives have been changed forever.
布莱斯已失去了所有奖学金
Bryce has lost all his scholarship offers.
而校区还取消了
The school district has cancelled
很可能大获全胜的赛季
what might well have been a championship season.
各方都深感遗憾
There is regret on all sides.
我们敦促庭上让这两个年轻人开始重建
We urge the court to let these two young people start rebuilding
回归他们的生活
and return to their lives.
这件事是莫大的悲剧
This is a tragedy all around.
作为法官我有责任考虑两边立场
As a judge, it's my role to look at both sides.
而加州法律要求
And California law requires
每位法官要考虑让
every judge to consider rehabilitation
初犯者自我调整获得缓刑机会
and probation for first-time offenders.
我希望这两个年轻人
I'd like to see these two young people
好好审视自己的生活和选择
look hard at their lives and their choices.
但我不希望再有进一步伤害了
But I don't want to do any further damage.
沃克先生
Mr. Walker...
你接下来行事要正直小心
I expect you to walk the straight and narrow, young man.
我判你三个月缓刑判决已定
I'm sentencing you to three months probation. So ordered.
法官大人三个月缓刑
Your Honor, three months probation?
就这样谢谢
That's all. Thank you.
我生气难过
I'm angry. I'm sad.
我仍不知道事情都怎么会变成这样的
And I still have no idea how what happened happened.
跟我说说在戴维斯小姐家发现的性♥爱♥娃娃
Talk to me about the sex doll that was found at Ms. Davis' home.
还有邓普西先生储物柜里的死老鼠
Or the dead rat that was inside Mr. Dempsey's locker.
还有对帕迪亚先生车的破坏
The vandalism to Mr. Padilla's car.
这真是扯淡
This is bullshit.
还有你寄给我儿子的纸靶子呢
What about the shooting target you sent my son?
我没做那些事
I didn't do any of that.
有好几个孩子说他恐吓了证人
We have several kids who say he intimidated witnesses,
还搞了破坏
engaged in felony vandalism.
大家什么都说那不是真的
Everyone's saying all kinds of shit, but it's not true.
枪呢
Where's the gun?
我这辈子从未摸过枪